


Ride The Bull

by bluecoins



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Baekhyun is shit over heels for Chanyeol, Can it be considered as that?, Friends to Lovers, M/M, Size Kink, Slow Burn, Tooth-Rotting Fluff, dragon age 2 inspired because hell the bull
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-15
Updated: 2017-04-24
Packaged: 2018-10-12 19:53:38
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 10
Words: 44,704
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10498326
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bluecoins/pseuds/bluecoins
Summary: One would think him blurting out at 2am on the couch in front of the TV to one of his best friends’ brother that “I hooked up with Chan Yeol four nights ago.” was totally uncalled for. This is the story of Baek Hyun’s last four months’ journey of discovering his sexuality for his tall best friend. Imagine this. All this shit. Because of a 3D bull from some shitty game.





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

> Okay. This was written for quite some time, and this is just a re-post from my AFF account. This was actually inspired by Dragon Age 2, because, you know. The bull. Hell, it's the bull, wth am I doing with my life. But enjoy it anyway!

Byun Baek Hyun was 23 that year.

 

He liked to think he was normal, **probably**.

 

To some extent, at least he was.

 

He has best friends too.

  

Park Chan Yeol.

 

Oh Se Hun.

 

Kim Jong Dae.

 

Oh Se Hun has a step brother who was his senior by one year, though. They occasionally hung out on the couch whenever he dropped by Se Hun’s place, because why the hell not? The man was cool. He can cook incredibly well and whenever money was tight, Baek Hyun will always hang out at their place for free dinner, not wanting to risk getting nagged at to world’s end by his father if he ever told him of his tight-money-predicament.

 

But yeah.

 

The name of Se Hun’s cool brother was Kim Min Seok.

 

Regardless, the point he was trying make was –

 

One would not expect that the first person he shared _this_ information with was _that_ cool Kim Min Seok.

 

Because one would think him blurting out at 2am on the couch in front of the TV to one of his best friends’ brother that **“I hooked up with Chan Yeol four nights ago.”** was totally uncalled for. 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Since this fic is basically completed, I'll hopefully post a new chapter daily. Until then...! XD


	2. One

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I initially got the idea for this fic when I first saw a friend played the new Dragon Age 2 sometime in 2015. I was complaining about one thing or another because we were basically obsessed about the fact that we can make pretty characters to match them with the Bull. So it all stem out from there, actually. Just google them up, if you're unfamiliar with the game.

It all actually started two months ago, and he had no one to blame, but himself because –

 

Byun Baek Hyun was an honest man.

 

He was a blunt asshole and to some extent, vulgar even, but the point was: he lived an honest life.

 

To say that he dislike the new Dragon Age was just a little too much, because he admitted that the CG and character design were definitely better than the second one, but the new romance option? Chan Yeol was disgustingly enjoying them a little too immensely.

 

“I can’t believe you’re doing this, man.” He sighed two hours after they got into Chan Yeol’s place. He slouched further into the couch, thighs parted obscenely with both arms crossed behind his head and looked at the screen of the huge TV with a bored expression.

 

“What?” Chan Yeol grumbled from next to him, body slouched forward as he held the black wireless controller closer to his chest in defence, and it was almost laughable how Baek Hyun can easily recognise the pout in his voice.

 

“You created a dude, a pretty one at that, just so you can see him get banged by the bull.”

 

“Hey! Everyone deserves to be loved!”

 

“He’s a bull.”

 

“He’s a Qunari!”

 

“You have some fucked up kink, man.”

 

“C’mon Baek, you want to ride the bull, I mean, look at him. Who doesn’t want to get romanced by _that?_ ”

 

“Err, me?”

 

Chan Yeol huffed out an indignant scoff at that and Baek Hyun turned to him with furrowed eyebrows and squinted eyes.

 

“Stop even trying to deny it Baek, I mean, let’s be real. I’m sure somewhere down there every man in this world at some point would want to get romanced by the bull. I don’t blame you. People tend to get curious, that’s all.”

 

“Yeah, and I’m curious to see how your mother will react when she knows about her son’s death –crushed by a huge fucking 3D bull.”

 

Chan Yeol didn’t even try to look the slightest affected at his annoyed claim, and although that should be boiling the shorter man with unquestionable anger, instead, all it did was to stab him with unplaced panic and hysteria at Chan Yeol’s suggestion because _fuck_ the idea of it all was so plausible, it sort of freaking him out. Big, bulky and burly figure crushing against him.

 

What the hell was wrong with him?

 

With a shake of his head, Baek Hyun in the end grabbed the remote from Chan Yeol’s hand with clammy fingers and proceeded to exit the game and load the Assassin’s Creed. Chan Yeol didn’t say anything to that, but Baek Hyun knew the triumphant look he wore and Baek Hyun tried hard not to think about Qunari or some fucking tall man pinning him down the mattress.

 

His heart shouldn’t be beating this fast anyway, goddamnit.

 

He didn’t realise that it was just the beginning.

 

===

 

It was all morbid curiosity, really, Baek Hyun told himself three days after the Qunari escapade. He just happened to have a plentiful of free time in his hand, because he had no car, his baby still locked up back in his hometown after his father had texted him the repair bill with a clear _‘Your CGPA better reflect the money I’ve wasted, or this car will rot in the garage until your graduation.’_

 

Min Seok was quiet next to him, only the noise of the TV filled the whole space and the elder’s occasional quiet hum to the tune of the insurance advertisement. The shower was running upstairs. Se Hun was getting ready for his midterm and had demanded like a little bitch for Baek Hyun to drive his car so that the elder can pick him up once he was done and the two can meet up with Jong Dae and Chan Yeol later at the rave.

 

His phone was tight in his clutch, the sound of the video wasn’t even that loud, it wasn’t even anything obscene, but his face burned nonetheless at the suggestive voice and dialogue.

 

He was shameless.

 

Chan Yeol said this line before _–“You want to ride the bull.”_ So he did it. He typed out ‘ride the bull dragon age’ by a slip of fingers on Youtube and list of videos came out within seconds much to his horror.

 

Talk about the huge height gap, the size gap was **vulgar** , scandalised, actually. Everything about it was so wrong on so many different levels.

 

He watched as one scene after another unfolded, going through the gameplay until the Bull had lain with the Inquisitor, to another scene of the beast smacking the other much smaller man’s ass and just says romanticised vulgar things.

 

“This is crazy.” He whispered to himself and he jumped up at the approving hum that came from next to him and saw Min Seok looking down at Baek Hyun’s phone with a bored expression. “Hyung!” He called out, pulling the phone smacked to his chest and saw the elder turning his eyes towards him before shrugging and turning back towards the TV.

 

“Look,” he began with a sigh, “I don’t really care with whatever kink you’re into, I mean, that’s your boat, not mine.”

 

“You’re getting the wrong idea, I swear –”

 

“I don’t judge,”

 

“Hyung –”

 

“So _hey_ , whatever.”

 

The pat to his thigh wasn’t consoling at all, and Min Seok gave him a supportive smile, got up from the couch with a thumb up before walking to the kitchen, leaving Baek Hyun to sag against the back of the sofa with a miserable face.

 

He will fucking kill Park Chan Yeol.

 

===

 

The club was loud with bass and drums and cheering crowd. The a/c kept the place moderately chilly, but when they joined the throngs of moving bodies, heat just crawled up his skin and music filled his head, turning him stupid and high.

 

As it always had been with these sort of events, there were promotions of new cigarettes near the bar, line of girls too with pretty smile offering new concoction of shots and the four of them were almost too eager to try them. Chan Yeol and Jong Dae especially, despite knowing well how the three of them have a morning class the next day. They walked away after that, joining the crowd then before moving until they were in the middle of it all with some new DJ on the deck, playing his set as the opening act. 

 

He can hear Jong Dae’s high pitched cackle voiced out from next to him before he started jumping, shaking his head left to right in rhythm with the rest of the crowd. There was all sort of smell surrounding them –perfumes, colognes, beers, vomit, sweat, nicotine and weed. The four of them don’t do this very often, only when specific DJs in town or when they need to shake off the adrenaline and stress for upcoming exams or assignments.

 

Jong Dae’s cheer was loud and he smiled. He liked looking at Jong Dae when they did this. The shorter man blended so well with the crowd, it was as if he was born to do this all his life, partying, having fun and his smiles were bloody infectious it almost made Baek Hyun grin his face off. 

 

But that was before strong arms slid from his back and wrapped around his torso. Baek Hyun felt his eyes widened at that, his breath knocked out rudely from his chest. He always knew that Chan Yeol’s strength was probably unquestionable whenever the man swayed him from left and right like this, cheering along with Jong Dae and Se Hun’s weird smiley face. But if he had to be honest with himself that night, he didn’t really think it was Chan Yeol’s strength that made the air thinned up, making it hard for him to breath.

 

They were probably the perfect representation of brothers at arms, friends, boys just having fun. Baek Hyun shouldn’t be worried about people might mistake Chan Yeol’s hold around him as something more, he never found the need to, because he was confident with their friendship, they did this all the time – _he_ was confident about _himself_.

 

But it happened anyway. His heart beat uncontrollably under his breast, his breathing hitching and his torso scrunching up into wayward fucked up black hole, turning everything surprisingly hotter and crazier. He bit his lips when he felt the man loosen his hold around him, but because of that, the tall man’s forearm moved up along his tummy, hitching up the tee he had worn, probably unintentional because Chan Yeol was jumping against his back, hips grinding up and down Baek Hyun’s ass and back, towering over _everything_ -just so fucking **big**. Baek Hyun thought that he was on the verge of falling apart.

 

Suddenly he was hyper aware of Chan Yeol’s long limbs, thick biceps and the coarse material of the other man’s skinny jeans.

 

What was happening?

 

He turned his head slightly around, catching the sight of Chan Yeol bobbing his head up and down, in synch with his jumps and suddenly, he couldn’t tell nerve, anxiety, adrenaline and panic apart. His fingers turned cold and his palms got clammy and he didn’t even realise that he had touch the other man’s arm if not for Chan Yeol staring back at him.

 

Chan Yeol must have noticed the look on his face and the man grinned out in return.

 

“C’mon Baek, midterm will only start next week! Loosen up!”

 

He must have mistaken Baek Hyun’s horrified look for that of nerve for their upcoming midterm, because the truth was, it was definitely worse than that. _Catastrophe_. 

 

“I need to go to the loo!” He shouted among the loud noise, and he was glad that they were practically plastered to each other, the tall man was virtually breathing down his neck and they sent confusingly wonderful shivers down his spine. He should’ve noticed of the man’s effect on him, he should’ve noticed, he should’ve fucking noticed. Chan Yeol heard him clearly and the man nodded.

 

“I’ll save you some space!” The man shouted back and Baek Hyun hurried out of the crowd, a palm clutching his chest because breathing was hard, and the unplaced excitement burned through him when Chan Yeol’s fingers brushed along his torso down to his hips when Baek Hyun rushed away was wrong.

 

Just like the hard on Baek Hyun spotted as he panted by the sink.

 

The man that looked back at him from the mirror was pale as ghost.

 

What the fuck was happening?

 

_Baek Hyun should’ve noticed._

 

===

 

Baek Hyun decided that there was something wrong with him when he got into Jong Dae’s car the next day. Jong Dae had dark circles shadowing under his eyes, whereas Chan Yeol had shades on, covering his eyes from the world and the man groaned out from the passenger side when Baek Hyun got into the car, shaking the vehicle with his weight and rough entrance.

 

“Sup.” Jong Dae called weakly from behind the steering wheel and Baek Hyun grinned, before he cheerily greeted them loudly from the backseat.

 

“Morning, _friends_!”

 

Chan Yeol moaned distressfully at that, and he tried ignoring how the voice made his heartbeat sped up and in turn, slammed the door shut.

 

“Can you like, be gentler? I’m having a massive hangover right now, and you moving about like a fat dinosaur is not helping at all.” Chan Yeol groaned and Jong Dae scratched his head distressfully.

 

“You guys knew we have a replacement tutorial this morning, I _told_ you not to drink. Not my fault you assholes decided to be a pair of balls in the end.” He said with a grin, feeling somehow victorious for being able to stick to whatever self-control he had last night, because if he was honest with himself at all, he knew control was the very thing he needed the most. Goddamn it, he didn’t even need to think about it _now_.

 

The ride was a silent one, except for his occasional humming from last night’s set at the backseat.

 

Chan Yeol and Jong Dae in the end skipped the replacement class and they instead had Baek Hyun signing the attendance list on their behalf. That left him disgruntled the whole time, because while busy jumping along to loud music and almost having a near panic attack about Chan Yeol last night, he hadn’t even touch the tutorial’s assignment.

 

He wasn’t surprised at all when he saw Se Hun lounging at the café of their faculty on the ground floor once the class was over and he joined the man with a pleased grin. Se Hun, just like Chan Yeol did this morning, had shades on and he nodded at Baek Hyun almost too airily to be completely sober.

 

Beautiful hangover doing its bidding.

 

“Had a good night sleep?” He asked as he pulled his right ankle over his left knee. Se Hun turned towards him slowly and with him hiding behind the shades, Baek Hyun can hardly tell his expression if not for the raised eyebrows.

 

“You are being unnecessarily unkind right now, just so you know.” The younger man said with a straight face and Baek Hyun couldn’t help laughing out at the blank voice, memories of a heaving Oh Se Hun by the toilet bowl wailing and crying about wanting Baek Hyun not to ever leave him from last night was still fresh in his head.

 

“Hangover still? I’m surprised you’re up at all since your next class is at 4pm today. Jong Dae and Chan Yeol bailed out on me before the class started. Traitorous bastards those lots, I’m telling you.” He sighed and Se Hun only nodded in return.

 

“Yeah, figured that one out when I heard them sneaking into our house this morning and passed out in the living room.” 

 

It was actually heart-warming when they climbed into Se Hun’s compact Kia Rio, both silent with sleep, because it was early, only 10.15am, and Baek Hyun always knew that the man had a soft spot for him, getting out of his bed this early at all despite of his hangover just to fetch him. Se Hun didn’t say this, Se Hun wasn’t really a man with many words to begin with, but Baek Hyun knew of this fact anyway. He always had, and he changed the gear to ‘D’ before driving them away from the campus site.

 

Se Hun’s and Min Seok’s place was not that far from the campus, only a fifteen minutes’ drive away and Baek Hyun parked the car at Min Seok’s empty lot. The elder man must have gone out earlier. He was already in his final semester, life figured out and a company waiting for him once he was done with the finals in two months.

 

He saw Jong Dae’s car parked by the street. He shook Se Hun from next to him awake, and they both got into the house, cold marbled floor soaked through his socked feet when Se Hun closed the entrance door and they walked past the living room. Baek Hyun saw Jong Dae on the couch and Chan Yeol on the carpet, pillows probably snuck out from the Se Hun’s room upstairs surrounded them with the few blankets Min Seok always folded on the couch covered them from the cold.

 

True to his thought, all four pillows and a bolster were missing from Se Hun’s bed and the younger groaned out before he walked out from the room. Baek Hyun threw his backpack to the floor, taking off his black cardigan and abandoned them onto Se Hun’s office chair, leaving him in only washed light blue skinny jeans and white short sleeved tee, before he jumped onto the bed. Se Hun came back minutes later with pillows probably snatched from Min Seok’s room and they slept right away after that.

 

===

 

The next time he woke up, it was to a slight headache. Se Hun was already gone from the bed and he walked to the window, looking out to see that both Se Hun’s and Jong Dae’s cars were missing. A quick glance at his watch showed that it was already 3.56pm and he remembered Se Hun had class at 4 and Jong Dae mentioned that he needed to see his supervisor per the university’s usual required evaluation procedure.

 

When Baek Hyun went downstairs, he saw that the living room was empty and he was oddly disappointed to see that he was left alone, not even Chan Yeol had stayed behind and so he walked to the kitchen, tummy rumbling at the prospect of food.

 

Min Seok will be back sometime after 4, and the man had mentioned something about kimchii fried rice for them and so Baek Hyun settled for the iced tea from the fridge.

 

The glass almost slip from his grip if not for the huge hand dwarfed around his as his heart jumped out when Chan Yeol’s face suddenly appeared from the doorway to the kitchen right after he shut the fridge’s door.

 

“ _Jesus_ –Chan Yeol, don’t jump out like that on people!”

 

Chan Yeol had looked at him with a confused tilt and he opened his mouth as if to retaliate when Baek Hyun pulled his hand away, taking the glass with him as he walked to the sink. His hips were pressed against the hard tiled counter; it was easier to compose himself when he was turned away from Chan Yeol like this.

 

His heart was going crazy under his chest, Chan Yeol had genuinely surprised him.

 

“Sorry, didn’t mean to surprise you like that.” The deep voice called out from his back and Baek Hyun almost jumped on his spot when hard body pressed against his back and Chan Yeol slid an arm around his waist to place his own glass into the sink.

 

His cologne stabbed through his nostrils, and _damn_ , Chan Yeol smelled really good. The man used his fingers to twist the knob of the tab and water poured over his hand before he undid the knob again, stopping the water back.

 

Baek Hyun can feel his breathing hitching into a staccato of notes in his throat, his eyes were wide and he hoped that Chan Yeol won’t see all that, except that when he focused on the glass of the window by the sink, he saw that Chan Yeol was staring straight at him. His face was unreadable, before his eyes flickered down Baek Hyun’s face to his lips from the reflection and then looking back up again to his eyes. His weight was a sturdy wall at the shorter man’s back and Chan Yeol pulled away after that with, what Baek Hyun refused to acknowledge, somehow, a satisfied look.

 

With Chan Yeol’s long legs, it didn’t take long for the tall man to walk out of the kitchen and soon enough, noises from the TV filled the whole space and only after that did Baek Hyun allowed himself to take a calming breath in.

 

What the fuck was wrong with him?

 

What was happening?

 

_Baek Hyun should’ve realised._

 

Chan Yeol’s presence never usually had that sort of effect on him. Once upon a time, if Chan Yeol ever sneak up on his back like that, he would act like a coy playful housewife and they would act disgustingly domestic with noisy flying kisses to each other and exaggerating lovey-dovey act that would usually drive Jong Dae up the wall with disgust, but now, it was almost as if he had hoped for Chan Yeol to –

 

He took another calming breath in before settling his glass into the sink and walked out of the kitchen. 

 

Chan Yeol had settled by the 3-sitter couch, arms opening and pushed out to the back of the sofa. Baek Hyun sat next to him with what he hoped to be a nonchalant move. He couldn’t focus on what Chan Yeol was watching, because suddenly, the knowledge that there were only the two of them in this confined space of a home seemed scandalous.

 

This wasn’t the first time they’ve been alone in this house, there never had been an issue before because both of them were great friends, so Baek Hyun really didn’t know what brought the change. He really needed to get a grip of himself.

 

“How come you’re still around?” he asked after a while, “I didn’t see you when I came down just now.”

 

Chan Yeol hummed from next to him, turning his face around to face Baek Hyun with a raised eyebrow before he looked back to the TV.

 

“Was in the washroom I think? I was, at least, before I went into the kitchen and walked in on you.”

 

Baek Hyun chanced the man another glance, studying his side profile briefly before quickly turning away, heart that only just calmed down now starting to grow erratic again when he took in Chan Yeol’s handsome face.

 

His best friend had gone through drastic transformation with his hair colour. The first time they met, Chan Yeol had deep red hair, complimenting his handsome face and physique. A year and half after that, the man had dyed them back to black. The contrast of jet black and his fair skin made many girls giggled their way. He remembered always teasing the man about it, and how Chan Yeol always liked it whenever Baek Hyun complimented him. Then last year, he had drastically bleached his hair into a shade of grey, silver-ish, and Chan Yeol was just a walking ticking bomb, Baek Hyun knew that, he just didn’t know why suddenly now he was affected by it.

 

Baek Hyun was thankfully saved from his own head when he heard the front door opened and saw Min Seok walking in with a bored face. The eldest of the three nodded their way before slumping next to Chan Yeol since the tall man had hogged up the middle seat. When the couch move about at Min Seok’s weight, Chan Yeol’s hand fell over and Baek Hyun felt his face heating up and his heart going at it again.

 

The man’s palm was huge as they casually rested on Baek Hyun’s shoulder, but the shorter man swore that he could feel the heat radiated straight to the back of his neck, up his throat and frying up his fucking brain. He gulped down a huge breath in.

 

Chan Yeol wasn’t looking at him, the man looked nonchalant in his spot and Baek Hyun was rendered paralyse, too confused to move the hand away, because despite how his reaction scared the shit out of him, his stomach clenched in excitedly and his head was giddy with high –probably lack of oxygen because he was so fucking stupid, he wished he’d just die and get swallowed by the sofa there and then.


	3. Two

Min Seok was Se Hun’s stepbrother.

 

But see, the thing was, Min Seok too knew very well who Chan Yeol was. Being friends with Baek Hyun meant entitling to be stuck with both Se Hun and Min Seok as well. Because he had been friends with Se Hun for almost twelve years, Min Seok was really just like an extension of a brother too, sort of. They hung out at Se Hun’s place a lot these days, because all of them were cheapskate, hanging out at Se Hun’s place really meant free food and free drinks.

 

But yeah, not like that had anything to do with _anything_ , though.

 

Because this was about Baek Hyun, after all.

 

And if there was a thing people needed to know about him – it was this.

 

 **Byun Baek Hyun didn’t dream big**.

 

That was probably due to the fact that he was a practical man surrounded by idiots to know that dreams were for stupid assholes. All that he honestly wanted was simple: to graduate college and not repeat this paper again because repeating it once was already torture enough, and to make things worse, this was the second time he took the same subject and he still had no idea what the hell was going on. He had no fucking clue how Accounting Theory will score him a job.

 

“I can’t fail again.” The moan sounded just as miserable as the state of his mind was. “Baek Hyun-ah, I can’t fail again, but what the fuck is he talking about.”

 

Baek Hyun wished he can come up with a clever comeback, because it was only 9.35am, the lecturer wasn’t even making any sense and he was already regretting his decision to be in the class, wishing that he was on his bed instead and that was a fucked up attitude.

 

“I can’t believe I left my boner unattended this morning just to get to this class.” There was a tug at his shirt, but Baek Hyun was unmotivated at all, body slouched with shoulders dropped and eyes dead. The a/c was just too cold, it was slowly sucking out his life and it sucked more that he can’t even sleep because it was too cold.

 

The scene that was unfolding around him was nothing new. A defeated Chan Yeol on his right panicking about why nothing was even making any sense and the very motivated Jong Dae on his left making a list of pornos that he needed to download once class was over.

 

Baek Hyun was 23 that year.

 

He was supposed to be in his final year, but he can’t even tell what year he was actually in now, because he repeated too many papers to the point that it got his syllabus so fucked up unlike the state of his dick. He looked down at the printed PowerPoint slides with blurry eyes, because sleepiness tended to burned human’s eyes with acidic spits, and this wasn’t the first time Baek Hyun wished time will fly by faster than the speed of light.

 

===

 

Baek Hyun always marvelled at his luck for bagging Oh Se Hun as one of his best friends.

 

Because his car was sitting back at the workshop in his hometown, the man had offered to take Baek Hyun around. And he did. With not even a breath of complain. In terms of their place to stay, the three of them had different arrangement. Jong Dae stayed with his two cousins, Baek Hyun with a roommate at some rented cheap flat that he’ll only see two or three times a week and Chan Yeol stayed at a studio apartment by himself.

 

Baek Hyun would usually just shack up at Chan Yeol’s or Se Hun’s place, because Chan Yeol liked company and didn’t mind sharing his bed and Baek Hyun liked noises and Se Hun always complain that he was bored and lonely all the time. So it wasn’t strange for nights like this when Baek Hyun was stranded on the 3-sitter couch in Se Hun’s living room, Chan Yeol on the floor with head pressed against the lain man’s torso and Se Hun flipping the channels from documentaries to dramas from next to Chan Yeol on the floor.

 

“Are we actually going to watch anything?” Chan Yeol grumbled from next to the younger man and Baek Hyun couldn’t help from glancing over to the top of the tall man’s head. His lips quirked into a slight smile, not that he could help it. His fingers tingled with the thought of running them through the soft silver strands, ruffling them left and right because he knew Chan Yeol will like that very much for the reason that the man must be a dog in his previous life, liking any sort of physical contact. It was also kind of cute how his best friend was still reeling from the Accounting Theory class this morning, moping, whining and complaining all the time.

 

God, really, what was wrong with him?

 

_He should’ve realised then._

 

“Still deciding.” Se Hun’s bored drawl had quickly pulled his attention away, and Baek Hyun immediately grinned tiredly, because he had anticipated that, but channel jumping tended to make a person dizzy and sleepy, so he bump Se Hun’s shoulder lightly with his foot.

 

“Pick one Se Hun-nie,” he said through a yawn, “I’m getting sleepy here already.”

 

There was a disapproving hum, but the channel surfing stopped, and Chan Yeol groaned out when they stopped at Harry Potter and The Sorcerer’s Stone. Suddenly, Baek Hyun was filled with memories of eleven year old little Byun Baek Hyun, writing a Hogwarts letter to himself and flailing it around the house to show off to a very bemused Byun Baek Bom who later bought him a witch’s hat for Halloween.

 

The trio had quickly quieted down after that and as he watched with heavily lidded eyes when Ron and Harry came for Hermione’s rescue against the troll, memories of how he had met Chan Yeol rushed to the front of his mind and he smiled to himself. Face warm.

 

He met Chan Yeol almost five years ago during his first semester of his first year when he was walking home from the ATM machine in campus one night. It was at the park between the campus and his much more expensive old apartment. He’d covered the first km, with only a few hundred metres away until he can escape the cold autumn weather. He regretted not driving his rickety car. He regretted a lot of things actually, but let’s not go there.

 

Chan Yeol was a very tall man with crazed grin and obsession with varsity jacket. Name any colour, he had them, Baek Hyun soon will know, lined in his closet with a variety of the same white tee folded neatly beneath because on top of being vain, the man was a neat freak too.

 

He remembered how cold it was that night when he saw the man. Hair dyed obnoxiously red, varsity jacket in jade green and white, black skinny jeans and black beanie. His shoes were white, and he had tiptoed by the bold ‘ **bicycle lane’** sign at the T-junction near the park, fingers long as they wrapped around black marker pen while his other hand was clutching a can of beer with five other empty ones by his feet.

 

 _“What are you writing?”_ He remembered asking and Chan Yeol turned immediately towards him, eyes bleary before he stopped and focused on the shorter man and a huge grin spread out. His cheeks were tinted in pink.

 

_“Can you even see from there?”_

 

_“From where? I’m not even that far from you.”_

 

_“But you’re so far down there, you won’t be able to read it!”_

 

_“What?”_

 

_“I can piggyback you if you want. You can see from my height then.”_

 

_“Well I can crush your dick too with my height, does that sound cool?”_

 

No one had the chance to do anything though, because despite how Chan Yeol had sounded genuinely sincere, he was actually really, _really_ drunk. Baek Hyun will later know it was because he got pickpocketed two hours before and was luckily left with few cash in the pocket of his jacket from a cancelled pizza plan two weeks prior and the man just decided to drown his depression away. He vomited after that before passing out on the pathway of the park, and that was it.

 

Full stop.

 

That was the starting point of their friendship.

 

Baek Hyun had to carry the man all few hundred metres from the park to his room because it was despicable how well his mother had grew him up to be. The man woke up on Baek Hyun’s bed only in his boxer brief and his stupid black beanie because Baek Hyun had thrown everything else in the washing machine and he was so shocked when he saw Baek Hyun walking in, wearing some boxer brief and plain tee, he had chocked on his own spit.

 

_“D-did we? I mean –oh god, did we?”_

 

Baek Hyun had only winked and Chan Yeol almost fainted.

 

But no.

 

They didn’t.

 

(The writing behind the stop sign was “Short people suck.” And it truly sucked, because Baek Hyun had no ways of wiping the writing off, because, well, he can’t _reach_.)

 

He met Jong Dae a semester later.

 

He was just some dude, lost during his first semester, got confused about the date classes were supposed to start so he had missed the first four weeks. When he actually did go to the class, he went to the wrong group and was failed for all five subjects he took. He made a plea, was granted supplementary and he barely passed them all, and he told all that to Baek Hyun the first day they met with glassy eyes.

 

That had genuinely impressed him –the raw honesty and sheer lcuk.

 

They became great friends right away.

 

===

 

They had morning classes on Tuesday and Thursday. Baek Hyun had never been a fan of morning classes, because he was a dick who can’t get up in the morning, but since he had skipped so many classes in the previous semesters, flunking a lot of papers with shitty grades, Jong Dae, Chan Yeol and he decided that they needed to buck up if they ever wish to graduate. And throughout the four years of friendship he had formed with the other two men –Baek Hyun had come to a conclusion.

 

It was that Chan Yeol had a peculiar habit.

 

He had a weird habit of having so many names.

 

Exhibit A: They will usually drop by the coffee shop near their campus after class, especially after morning classes, just like today, because Jong Dae was a stereotype woman who needs his daily shots of caffeine while Chan Yeol just like the honeycomb crunch atop his caramel Frappuccino.

 

That month itself, Chan Yeol had alternated his name differently for the past 5 weeks –week 1: James Bond, week 2: Lee Min Ho, week 3: Batman, week 4: Leonardo Dicaprio and week 5: Emma Stone.

 

Baek Hyun asked him once, _“What’s up with the name? I get the Emma Stone bit, but Leo? C’mon man.”_

 

Chan Yeol blamed it all on, _“Mid-life crisis. I don’t know what I’m doing now with my life.”_

 

_“What are you talking about? You’re 23.”_

 

_“I feel like 43.”_

 

 _“So you’re telling me you’re in that age where you’re having_ **that** _personality-disorder-confusion shit, huh?”_

 

_“Yeah that, but let’s be real here Baek, because the real question should be what’s the official name of that disorder?”_

 

_“I don’t know. But I heard people in the midst of their mid-life crisis tend to have them.”_

 

_“I’m actually 43.”_

 

_“Sure.”_

 

So when the barista called out, “T-taylor Swift?” hesitantly that Thursday after their morning class, Baek Hyun only shook his head and five minutes later, watched his friend sucking in his Frappuccino dejectedly while he himself was crushing the bud of his cigarette into the flat surface of the ashtray.

 

“Wanna hang out at my place later?” Chan Yeol had asked, slurping the iced drink loudly as he hopefully looked up to both Baek Hyun and Jong Dae.

 

Baek Hyun was in the midst of lighting up a new stick with a foot crossed over his knee while Jong Dae was deep into the pamphlet of external hard disks. He said he needed a new one because he had too much junk in his PC, but everyone knew it was really because he downloaded too much porn. Jong Dae had repeated _–“There’s a reason why I called them junk.”_ Which was respectable. Because despite being a perverted bastard, at least Jong Dae had the balls to admit that to himself and to everyone else without an ounce of shame.

 

Baek Hyun respected that the most about the man.

 

“I can’t, going to the PC store after this.” Jong Dae said before sliding the pamphlet forward so the other man can see. “Which one should I get? This? Or This?” he pointed to the electric blue Seagate and the red one.

 

Now that he started dating, he declared that he wanted a fresh start, a clean laptop. And the first step was –a brand new hard disc to store all of his porn in commemorating his non single life anymore.  

 

Baek Hyun and Chan Yeol supported him.

 

There was nothing not to be proud of.

 

“Can I come with you?” Chan Yeol asked with a hopeful grin.

 

“Nowpe.” Was the cheerful answer and Baek Hyun couldn’t help the huge smirk at how disappointed Chan Yeol had looked like. “Da-te, _date_.” He singsong, and the loud dramatic sigh from Chan Yeol was enough to make Baek Hyun laughed, eyes crinkling small and he couldn’t help but to stare at the tall man adoringly, because damn, his heart felt as if it can explode at any seconds, and his stomach twisted so hard, it made him high and giddy.

 

_Goddamn it, he should’ve fucking realised it._

 

“Cheer up, man.” He said and saw Chan Yeol turning to face him. “I’ll hang out at your place.”

 

He couldn’t explain why Chan Yeol’s shy smile can affect him this much, because suddenly, the idea of doing just about anything to have Chan Yeol keep smiling at him like that was so strong, it freaked him out. So he brushed them aside by snatching the man’s Frappuccino and gulped it down in one go. Chan Yeol’s whine didn’t help at all.

 

===

 

Chan Yeol was huge. There was no way of saying it, because the man was really **huge**. His height was intimidating, over-towering everything in his path, his shoulders were wide and the way he brought himself around can make a man feel small.

 

Baek Hyun would know it. He lived and breathed with the fact, having to deal with the man on a daily basis for the past few years, and sometimes, he would feel intimidated by it, not like he could help it. It was an envious trait really, it was disgustingly despicable. See, he liked to use that phrase, that word – **envious**. Not jealous, but _envious_. Because Jealousy indicates the feeling of longing for something that he already have, whereas envious is the feeling of longing for something that he clearly doesn’t have.

 

Baek Hyun liked to be specific like that, sometimes.

 

He liked to think that he was unique, of the sort.

 

And just like that, there was this one thing that Baek Hyun had come to an understanding.

 

That Chan Yeol was unique too.

 

Chan Yeol was just like a coin.

 

There were two sides of him, two vividly contrast sides that always left Baek Hyun confused and oddly flustered, even to this day. Pouty, demanding and whiney man with a nice smile, and nice smell, offering help and clumsy with his long limbs, comical, to some extent, and then there was the other side of Chan Yeol that was all about dominance, control, unplaced smugness and brattish nature that matched well with his grey bleached hair.

 

Chan Yeol was kind of good at many things, like how high his alcohol tolerance level was, acing any beer ping pong match, and then there was his appetite too, his talent with any sort of musical instruments. Chan Yeol’s mother once told Baek Hyun, when he went over to the tall man’s house last two summers, that her son was good at many things at the price of his brain.

 

Which sort of true. Because Chan Yeol was good at subjects with numbers and formulas, theories and all those that require memorising, he was sort of rubbish with the ones that requires the application of logic. It was strange, because Baek Hyun tended to score better at subject that he can come up with his own theory.

 

Baek Hyun woke up the next day with a much bigger problem than what he had anticipated.

 

Dreaming about it once was fine, because it was easier to blame it all on his curiosity and confusion, but to dream about it almost most nights was driving him mad, a rude reminder shoved to his face of how his outlook towards his best friend had drastically changed now –all because of some fucking huge 3D bull.

 

The thin layer of sweat was a glossy lustre on his fair, but now, flushed skin and he swallowed loudly in the darkness of his room. He sat up quietly, exhaling shaky air and pushed up two palms over his face with a groan.

 

The room wasn’t even that hot, but look at him, sweating and waking up with a red face and a fucking hard on.

 

He groaned loudly again, muffled by his palms before slowly looking up to an empty bed next to his. His roommate didn’t come back again last night, which wasn’t strange at all, because Jong In only came back once or twice a week and Baek Hyun finally slumped back against the mattress, turning to his side with bended knees.

 

He will not touch himself again, was what he repeated in his head.

 

He will sleep this boner off like always, was what he told himself.

 

He woke up again three hours later at 9am, this time, no hard on, but the shadow of long limbs wrapped around him still echoed through his skin, plump lips sucking at his skin along his throat and heavy weight pressing him down against the mattress, broader figure roughly mounting him with deep voice moaning out his name.

 

_“Baek Hyun-ah.”_

 

_“Baek Hyun-ah.”_

 

Baek Hyun groaned distressfully to himself. Even the slight memory of his dream had such an ugly effect on him, somehow, all organs and muscles and fucking dick knew how to come alive and his heartbeat hastened in panic and adrenaline and rush. 

 

 _Don’t get hard now,_ **please** _, for the love of god, don’t fucking get hard now._

 

===

 

“You missed the morning class, why, **why** Baek Hyun, is this some sort of revenge for always ditching you at morning tutorials?” Jong Dae’s voice cracked and rang irritatingly through the whole car. His radio was loud with Miami Horror’s Wild Motion blaring through the speakers and while the song was decent, the volume Jong Dae tended to set for all of his songs was near deafening and Baek Hyun just didn’t see the point of having conversation when all parties have to practically shout to each other to get their message across.

 

“Are you angry, though?” Chan Yeol whined from the front seat, body twisting around from the front seat to face him, and Baek Hyun had quickly clenched his eyes shut at that. His right hand still kinda sore from vigorously jerking off on his bed this morning and promptly, missing the morning class. “You can’t be that mad,” No, Chan Yeol, he wasn’t mad. “You know how hangovers are,” Yes, he knew how hangovers worked because he was lightweight and can’t hold his alcohol for shit. “I haven’t been that drunk in years.” He knew that, because the last time Chan Yeol was dead drunk, he had groped Baek Hyun in front of Jong Dae for no particular reason and Baek Hyun had recorded the whole ordeal as blackmail.

 

So yeah.

 

He wasn’t mad at any of them; it was just that he wished he can knock some fucking sense into his head before deciding it was fine to imagine thick pouty lips and huge grin while frantically finding his relief with body arching up and toes curled under his duvet.

 

Chan Yeol’s deep voice didn’t help at all, and his body was still tingly from the thought of that deep voice saying things he knew his best friend wouldn’t say to him anywhere near the future. Baek Hyun slouched dejectedly in the backseat of Jong Dae’s car, face growing red with his heart beating excitedly –no fucking control at all, what was the matter with him?

 

So yesterday they got back the midterm result for their Accounting Theory. Whereas Jong Dae had miraculously scored an 8/15, both Baek Hyun and Chan Yeol had typically scored 6.5/15, and the three of them had dropped by the club last night, trying to release tension with loud music and get drunk. While Chan Yeol drank to his heart content, Baek Hyun was too busy watching the attractive way Chan Yeol’s Adam’s apple had bobbled up and down at each of his gulp, almost didn’t realise how his mouth had practically watered at the sight that even Jong Dae had eyed him suspiciously.

 

Baek Hyun only had a glass of beer, too scared of the prospect of being drunk, fearing what he might do or say. Chan Yeol had probably six and Jong Dae might have about three or four. He drove Jong Dae’s car and dropped both of the drunken fuckers at Chan Yeol’s studio apartment before driving himself back to his place. All three of them missed the morning class for various reasons. He drove Jong Dae’s car back to Chan Yeol’s place at 1pm and had the very much hungover Jong Dae drove them for lunch.

 

“What do you want to do tonight?” Chan Yeol asked once the three had settled at the café and done ordering their lunch. With both of his palms over his face, Chan Yeol had his elbows supported his head on the table and his voice was muffled.

 

Jong Dae was clenching his phone, trying to read the text messages with red and bleary eyes and Baek Hyun liked how miserable he looked like trying to decrypt the words. It must be his girlfriend. He remembered how excited the man was last night for his date later in the evening, but he didn’t think Jong Dae will be that much of a fun that day, drowsy and moody.

 

“Can’t believe I forgot I have a date today.” Jong Dae moaned. “I just want to sleep forever.”

 

Baek Hyun couldn’t help the snicker, and Jong Dae bared his teeth at him with a hiss, muttering a “ _Bitch_.” under his breath. 

 

“Are you going then?” Baek Hyun asked, flipping through the menu, but really, they’ve ordered all that they wanted five minutes ago. He was just using that as an excuse to eye Chan Yeol’s slumped body opposite of him, studying the thick fingers cramped together and throat going dry at each second with the thought of what those fingers can do. The possibility was endless. His neck was long, his shoulders were wide and broad, and the electric blue and white varsity jacket he had donned on top of the black top that day was attractive as hell.

 

Yes.

 

Attractive.

 

Fuck, _yes_.

 

“Hell yes.” Jong Dae moaned and Baek Hyun steeled himself up at the sudden voice. “I can’t just cancel our plan like that! It’ll be awful for her.”

 

“The kick is –you’ve cancelled plentiful of our plans to get your dick touched.” Chan Yeol groaned from behind his palms, earning a kick to the shin from Jong Dae.

 

“You’re awful, man.” Baek Hyun shook his head in agreement. “How can you be awful to us and not her?”

 

“Easy, because she’s a woman, and my mom’s a woman too, I wouldn’t want anyone to make her sad.”

 

“Her? Who? The woman who touched your dick on a weekly basis or the woman that made hell a huge favour by giving birth to you? You’re not even making any sense anymore.”

 

“That was unkind, Baek, fuck you.”

 

“No thanks. Life fucked me enough already, I’m basically a slut.”

 

Chan Yeol’s snicker from behind his palms made Baek Hyun grin, and Jong Dae’s frustrated groan made him grin even wider as he we watched his best friend dialled his girlfriend up. They talked, and the man’s nasally high pitched voice was annoying, _jagiya, jagiya, **jagiya**_ , but Jong Dae’s distraction somehow seemed like a green card for him to ogle over Chan Yeol to his heart’s content without being caught, and that was exactly what he did.

 

And he liked what he saw.

 

The tousled grey hair, the wide shoulders, the long fingers.

 

He was overcome with the need to touch his best friend all over, because Chan Yeol can’t be humanely possible, and yet, everything there was to him screamed how _human_ he actually was –breathing and alive and fiery.

 

Jong Dae’s huge laugh caught his attention, and he swivelled his head to the other man, studying how Jong Dae had gathered his wallet and box of cigarette from in front of him and stuffed them into his pocket before standing up.

 

“W-where are you going –Jong Dae, the food will be here any minute!” He panicked and Jong Dae grinned at him, raising his middle finger and index finger in a peace sign, mouthing a _“She’s making me brownies!”_ and just like that, he watched the man walked out of the café, got into his car before reversing off and gone.

 

“Just let him be,” Chan Yeol’s voice muffled from his palm. “The girl loves him so much, they deserve each other, really –”

 

“Chan Yeol, I don’t think you get the severity of this situation at all.” Baek Hyun said after a while, voice quiet before he looked on to the man with blank eyes. “We came in Jong Dae’s car.”

 

Chan Yeol was quiet, before crossing his hands on the table and crushed his head into his crossed arms with a sigh. “S’fine,” He said after a while. “There’s the train or taxi or bus.”

 

And Baek Hyun shook his head.

 

“Chan Yeol-lie, he has the credit card, my wallet is literally empty of cash, both of our bank accounts are empty from the Star Wars blu-ray collection we splurged on last week. Your money is only enough to cover one coke, and might I remind you that we asked for three cokes and one strawberry milkshake. Let’s not get started on the _foods_ we’ve ordered.”

 

There was a sudden silence. Baek Hyun leaning back against his chair and Chan Yeol’s figure slumped over the table, and it was peaceful to some extent before the tall man straightened up and looked at him with the most miserable face Baek Hyun’d saw him don on.

 

The chairs scraped against the wooden floor and the two men were out of the café within the next five seconds before they ran as if their life was the line.

 

===

 

a/n: Wootwoot. Chapter 2 is here! There are many things that have inspired me when writing this fic. Like for example, the name thing is a thing that me and my friends always did. The story of how both Chan Yeol and Baek Hyun met was inspired by a picture I saw on tumblr like few years ago. I can’t trace it, but I just feel like I have to make it known.

 

Ok.

 

So anyway, how was this? Was it ok? Meh? Lemme know! Also, this is a weekly update. I will try to upload this every Saturday? Because my class will start soon, so, yeah. I was supposed to update this earlier, but was held back because of some health-related matter. And, apology for the grammatical error. This is un-beta.

 

=]


	4. Three

“Can’t believe he ditched us just like that,” Chan Yeol grumbled, slowing down with few hearty intake of air after they were few blocks away from the café. Sweats were beading down the tall man’s forehead to his nose, before huge fist raised and rubbed the bridge of his nose raw. “I will fucking kill him.” He mumbled again, voice a little breathless from all the running that they did. “He better worship his woman’s ass now, because I will end him tonight.”

 

“Just let him be.” Baek Hyun said through gritted teeth, trying to hold in his breathlessness from his voice because it was shameful how unfit he was, and the ache of his calves from running hard was a glaring testament, “The girl loves him so much, you said, they deserve each other, yeah _? Fucking priceless_.” Baek Hyun quoted back what Chan Yeol had told him back at the café with a tired grin, before a huge palm slapped the back of his head made him swore he saw stars.

 

There were cars everywhere as they walked pass the shoplots and throngs of people. Every so often, a bus or two will stop by the roadside to unload passengers and Baek Hyun could only look longingly to the idea of cushioned benches, and he hugged the thin layer of black cardigan tighter over his white tee clad body. It was stupidly arrogant of him to forgo thicker layer of clothing when he woke up to a bright sky that day.

 

Despite the trees shaded the walkway, the sun was blinding in contrast to the weather. Baek Hyun hated and loved it. Because he hated how the wind was bone-chilling, but he loved how the heat from the sun can wash them away, but it still won’t be enough. He can never stand the cold that well, and true enough, shivers started to outbreak through his skin and he hated himself for being so fucking predictable.

 

Chan Yeol was a tall presence next to him, and walking like this side by side, it almost made him smile. Because looking down at the pavement as they walked by, he saw that his shadow was basically dwarfed by the tall man’s one, as if Chan Yeol was the only one walking. It wasn’t exactly an unsettling thought, because Baek Hyun was so used to it, shadowed by the man, but shined and burned from his action.

 

Five weeks.

 

It was only five weeks since the stupid rave, but Baek Hyun was already in all sort states of fucked.

 

“Wanna come over to my place?” Chan Yeol suggested after a while, and Baek Hyun looked up to him with furrowed eyebrows, heartbeat strangely hiccupping for no particular reason. Was it because of his voice? His hopeful tone? Or was it because of the stupid suggestion?

 

“For what?” He whined. “My feet are sore, and your place is far.” Baek Hyun turned his head forward, facing the tunnelled crowd, parting for the two of them because his best friend’s height was ominous. He sighed at the thought of that admiring trait, and Chan Yeol grimaced at the reality of what he told him, because a simple math would conclude that it was much easier and nearer for them to just go to Baek Hyun’s place. The right bus will only take eight stops until they reached his end whereas Chan Yeol’s place would require thirteen stops and a twenty minutes difference.

 

With so many people around them from the lunch crowd, Chan Yeol was basically smashed to his side and when once upon a time the heat was annoying as hell, but now, Baek Hyun found himself relishing in the tall man’s presence and wished that they could stay like this for much longer. Forever, maybe. Arms against arms, and rounded eyes looking down at him with intensity.

 

He was starving.

 

He was so _fucking_ hungry.

 

“I’m starving and broke. I will die.” He told his best friend and he received a thoughtful hum in return.

 

“There are some leftover pizzas from last night.” Chan Yeol told him and Baek Hyun whipped his head up to look at the tall man with a puzzled look.

 

“Pizzas?”

 

“Jong Dae and I got hungry last night and we ordered four boxes.”

 

“But you guys were dead drunk last night.”

 

“We were **hungry**.”

 

“Oh- _kay_. So did you guys manage to pass two slices each before we have Jong Dae vomiting and passing out?”

 

“Owh, _rude_.”

 

“How many slices? It can’t be more than two?”

 

“Jong Dae managed one, and **_I_** , on the other hand, only managed half before passing out.”

 

“I’ll forever be proud of you, son.”

 

The pat on Chan Yeol’s back was deliberate, because lately, it was shameless how he will always try finding chances to cop a feel and right before Baek Hyun retract his arm back after realising what an obvious fool he was, Chan Yeol’s huge arm dwarfed over his shoulder and the tall man pulled him even closer than before, smashed to his long body.

 

It was a normal move, he told himself, they did this so often because Chan Yeol has a six sense and he will always knew when Baek Hyun was cold, resulting in weird PDA sessions, it was nothing new.

 

But his face still burned up at the sudden close proximity nonetheless, and Chan Yeol’s cologne enveloped him in a tight hug that Baek Hyun just can’t escape, resulting in his torso clamping up in panic and his heartbeat fastening with rush.

 

===

 

It was already four when they reached Chan Yeol’s studio apartment. The place was still neat and tidy as he remembered them to be, aside from the unmade bed, two abandoned glasses in the sink and four boxes of pizzas on the small square dining table that can only fit four chairs at max.

 

While Baek Hyun had a one track mind, going hurriedly to the abandoned food on the table, Chan Yeol was calmer as he took off his varsity jacket. Baek Hyun was quiet and stopped right by the table and watched as Chan Yeol moved about next to his bed and opened the cupboard door. He saw long arm reached into the cupboard and took out a black plastic hanger. It was ridiculous how transfixed he was with Chan Yeol’s mundane task of hanging back his jacket.

 

Chan Yeol caught his staring when the tall man turned towards the kitchen.

 

Instead of fighting the red and fire that blazed through his cheeks, Baek Hyun just let it be, because he knew it will be a losing battle after the past five weeks, and he averted his eyes down onto the table instead. His heartbeat had yet to calm down, and he thought he can faintly smell Chan Yeol’s cologne on himself.

 

“What?” He heard Chan Yeol asked a little too soft for his usual gruff and whiney exterior.

 

“Nothing.”

 

“But you were staring.”

 

“Only because you’re a disgusting fuck.”

 

“That so?”

 

“Wash the jacket sometimes, Chan Yeol.”

 

“ _Meh_ , my cologne does the job all the time.”

 

“Fucking disgusting, man.” He snorted to himself, amused, before ripping open one of the pizza boxes. Chan Yeol was quiet as he moved towards the opened kitchen. He opened the top cabinet and passed him a blue clayed plate that he fished out. Baek Hyun placed few slices of the pizza on it before dumping them into the microwave.

 

They sat by the couch in silence after they were done, TV on with some soap drama. Chan Yeol was nursing a bottle of Gatrode in silence, sobering up, hangover almost completely gone. He liked how warm it was in the apartment with the heater on. Chan Yeol’s bed was just behind the couch, he had left his bag on it and he knew the tall man will move them away later because it was a known fact that Park Chan Yeol detests messes. Fucking neat freak.

 

“I’m sleepy.” Chan Yeol had declared after a while, and he can’t blame the man at all after their success in wolfing down three boxes of pizza.

 

“The bed is behind us – ** _what_** are you _doing_?”

 

He quickly asked. Mildly in shock and horror, because the sight of his best friend laying down until he rested his head on Baek Hyun’s lap should be normal, but not today, because how can he? After Baek Hyun had determinedly jack himself off with the image of this particular man on a daily basis? It made him squirming in his place with red face and confusing pace of heartbeat.

 

“I’m sleepy.”

 

“So?”

 

“Lemme sleep.”

 

“Fucking bed is behind us.”

 

“I want to sleep.”

 

“Yeah, go ahead, no one’s stopping you.”

 

“Quit with your yammering, Baek.”

 

“Chan Yeol, there’s literally a fucking bed just behind this couch.”

 

“ _Shh_.”

 

“ _Unbelievable_.”

 

But he allowed it anyway, eyes softening at the sight of Chan Yeol’s back. The tall man had lain on his stomach, the side of his face buried in Baek Hyun’s thighs, while his head turned towards the TV. One of his arms was crossed under his torso, crushed between his weight and the couch while the other was plastered by his side. He knew it won’t be long before Chan Yeol will be out, **purely** by experience, because Jong Dae and Se Hun liked to play prank on him, they almost always wait for the tall man to fall asleep first.

 

His breathing was evening out, his shoulders were slacking, and soon enough, heavy breathing sounded through the air.

 

It was as if his fingers had a mind of its own accord, moving without him consenting it and they easily sifted through the grey locks that he knew will be as soft and fluffy as it looked like. Because Chan Yeol was perfect, his grooming standards were up to par and he almost moan when his fingers touched the top of his head, caressing and allowing the hair to cascade all over his digits.

 

Chan Yeol’s scalp was warm, a little oily from skipping washing his hair this morning and Baek Hyun just can’t stop himself. He’d done this to girls before, he liked doing this, but he can never imagine himself liking doing this to another man. It used to be an impossible thought, but looking down to Chan Yeol laid so peacefully on his lap somehow seemed natural.

 

===

 

The next time Baek Hyun woke up, his neck was sore and his body was slumped over the arm of the couch with one arm crossed over it, cushioning his head. He straightened up, leaning back against the couch and groaned at the crick-crack sound his body made and his sore back.

 

He pulled his one of his arms up and squinted his eyes at the glow in the dark digit of his watch to see that it was already 8.15pm. The whole apartment was dark, because none of them had bothered to switch on any light after they were done with the pizza, and their only salvation to light was probably the eerie blue colour coming from the TV, tinting everything in spectrum of moving shades. It was peaceful, to some extent, but it was dizzying too.

 

Then he made the mistake of looking down.

 

Because while his hand had previously plastered amongst soft strand of grey hair of an unconscious man, now, there was a pair of large almond shaped eyes opened and watching his every move.

 

Chan Yeol didn’t look shock or angry as he stared at the other male, lain on his back now with the back of his head still on Baek Hyun’s lap. If Baek Hyun was perceptive enough, he might say that his best friend’s gaze was soft and gentle, but after realising that his fingers were basically still cradling the tall man’s head, all thoughts escaped him as he hurriedly pulled his hand away away as if he was burnt. The only response he got was an arched eyebrow and _possibly_ an amused smirk.

 

They were quiet after that. Chan Yeol was still looking at him while Baek Hyun was trying to tell his heart to calm the fuck down before it can give him a cardiac arrest.

 

“You talk in your sleep, you know.” Chan Yeol said after a while. It succeeded in distracting him from his own strange bodily predicament.

 

“What?”

 

“Not _talk_ talk, you know, but more like whining.”

 

“Whining?”

 

“Yeah, like a kicked puppy.”

 

Chan Yeol grinned widely at Baek Hyun’s narrowed eyes before crying out when the shorter man thrust his hips forcefully upwards. Its result was immediate. It had Chan Yeol rolled onto the floor from the weight, and he glowered at Baek Hyun who had quickly stood up from his spot, stretching to his heart content. The glory was only short-lived of course, because soon after, Chan Yeol played dirty, the fucker, and pulled at Baek Hyun’s calves, tripping him over and Baek Hyun let out an undignified yelp before falling on top of Chan Yeol.

 

The _oomph_ Chan Yeol cried out from the impact of his weight wasn’t enough, so Baek Hyun kicked at the other man’s shin just to make a point.

 

But here was the kick.

 

Baek Hyun had lain with half of his body covering Chan Yeol’s, and one of the tall man’s arms was wrapped around his waist. His head was basically snug atop Chan Yeol’s shoulder and ten minutes later, the arm around his waist was still there, the TV was still on, the moon was already out, and the only lighting in the whole studio apartment was from the plasma screen.

 

He thought the position was very uncomfortable, but Chan Yeol had his eyes closed and he looked so content. Baek Hyun can’t remember if they ever did this before, because while it was normal for them to sprawl on the floor like a homeless bunch, Chan Yeol never hold him like this. **No**. Never like this. If he was daring enough, he would say that that night – it felt kind of _intimate_.

 

He thought that there wasn’t exactly an actual word to acutely describe what he was feeling, because it was a jumble of shit and Baek Hyun knew he was fucked through and through, and the worst part of the deal was that he didn’t exactly mind it.

 

He didn’t know why it made him all sort of warm though.

 

And then the smell hit him, you know, the stench of a rotten egg, that sort, and he groaned. Pulling away was impossible, because the grip around his waist was strong, and the shake and rumbling of Chan Yeol’s chest as the man laugh made him want to murder a child.

 

“Fucking hell, man! A warning would be nice!”

 

“Smell me, Baek, that’s the smell of a real man.”

 

“Fuck off!”

 

===

 

Baek Hyun woke up the next day with a loud noise coming from the other side of his room.

 

Groggily, he opened his eyes with deep breathing. The comforter was wrapped snugly around him, and the pillow was warm under his head –but if there was a need for him to choose the bestest out of everything, it would probably be the state of his dick. For the first time, in many mornings, that little shit was not fucking hard like almost every other day. It was a personal achievement, he liked to think. He almost groaned at his pathetic thought, because if any, that was a huge indication of what a pathetic man he was becoming.

 

He turned his head sideway to see the other single bed in the room was occupied. A quick scan would prove that his roommate had probably came back drunk again last night, most likely he’d barged in some time in the early morning, because his clothes were stranded everywhere and Baek Hyun’s own office chair, somehow, was pushed against the entrance door of the room. 

 

The loud bang against his door was a vulgar interruption and Baek Hyun realised that was probably what had woken him up in the first place.

 

It took him a whole five minutes just to stand up.

 

The door banged twice more with Chan Yeol’s voice boomed in from the other side.

 

“I know you’re awake now. C’mon, Baek! Tutorial!”

 

It was a rude reminder, he realised, because while he had spent last night after their pizza and weird cuddling session on the floor helping Chan Yeol out with the assignment, he had totally disregarded his part.

 

He eyed all the piece of clothing on the floor, scrunching his eyes to figure out which one was his and which one was Jong In’s. It was starting to become a sort of normalcy, he realised, because the younger man liked to sleep naked and Baek Hyun liked to sleep in his boxer, the floor of their room will basically littered with clothes of any sorts. Like a perfect crime scene of messy round of a drunken and passionate blizzard one night stand.

 

“It’s not locked!” He tested, calling out to Chan Yeol, because drunken Jong In will always equal to door not being locked, and true enough, Chan Yeol’s face appeared moments later. The traitorous wheeled office chair was easily moved at the push of the door and Baek Hyun could only shook his head after he had successfully pulled on a pair of skinny jeans, too tight in all sort of places and Chan Yeol was quiet when he closed the door shut.

 

He had come up alone, and that was an indication that Jong Dae must have waited in his car downstairs with no available parking lot.

 

Baek Hyun looked down to his feet and realised that the hem was too long to be his and he groaned again, because it was already difficult enough for him to put on the pants, and to mistakenly put on Jong In’s one instead was the last straw.

 

“Fucking bastard,” He cursed under his breath, climbing up the other man’s bed and straddled his hips in one swift movement, so used to doing it to the younger man every time his alarm clock rang too early in the morning. There was only the cover of the duvet came in between Jong In’s naked skin and the fabric of his jeans. He clasped his hand together over Jong In’ calm face, slapped the supple cheeks twice, before shouting out, “You fucking cunt! Lock the bloody door next time, or I’ll hire some shitty bouncer to rape your ass!”

 

There was a sudden grip on his naked shoulder, before a hard tug weighted over him. It made him lose his balance, gravity fucking him up and had him leaning backwards in an alarming speed. There was a split of heart-gripping second where Baek Hyun had anticipated the floor to meet his body in a painful crash, but what met him instead was a sturdy and warm long torso.

 

He tilted his head upwards, eyes quickly scanned up the long throat to Chan Yeol’s weird expression. He was a little breathless, both of them were, actually, and Baek Hyun swallowed audibly.

 

“W-what are you doing?” He stuttered, because when Chan Yeol had practically yanked him away from straddling Jong In’s torso, he had slipped to the edge of the bed. One foot awkwardly rested over Jong In’s thighs while the other was still in a kneeling position next to the sleeping man in its original position. The only anchor to his body from toppling off the bed was Chan Yeol’s sturdy weight against his back.

 

Chan Yeol’s eyes were wide, as if he was in shock over his own action, but his expression was stony, eyebrows furrowed and lips pursed, a reaction he would portray when vindicating his unexplainable feat. A simple translation would sum up that whatever it was that Chan Yeol did, whether it was pulling him away from Jong In, or holding onto Baek Hyun with such a force –Chan Yeol knew it and he meant it.

 

The silence that came forth after that was thick. Baek Hyun wondered how they can even breathe at all.

 

“Chan Yeol?” He asked again. Not because he wanted an answer, because he knew, answers, of any sort, will only confused him further, so he called out for the man only because he wanted to break the silence.

 

Chan Yeol’s hand fell from Baek Hyun’s shoulder, fingers rough and thick as they slipped over his bare back. Shivers rippled involuntarily over his skin, and Chan Yeol’s palm was warm over his shoulder blades when the man pushed him forward, allowing Baek Hyun to straighten up from his slouching position.

 

“We’re going to be late.” Chan Yeol said, voice shaky, but none of them moved.

 

Limbs all still intact, Baek Hyun’s head still tilted upwards, his back pressed against warm palm. He was transfixed by the honest eyes, Chan Yeol’s expression, Chan Yeol’s body language. It deluded him with strange hope; questions quickly fell into plot in his head because he was wanting, he wanted so fucking much, and could it be that Chan Yeol wanted it too?

 

Unsurprisingly, it was Jong In’s guttural groan that broke the spell.

 

Baek Hyun had turned back towards the man under him while Chan Yeol had scrambled towards the door, back pressed against the wood while face stubbornly turned sideways.

 

===

 

He didn’t know how walking into Se Hun’s house the next day to see he had bleached his hair into platinum blond had escalated into the two of them, lounging on the 3-sitter couch with the younger, enveloping Baek Hyun’s chest from the back with an arm.

 

Se Hun’s body was warm. He was leaning casually against the couch and because of his grip around Baek Hyun’s body, the elder can only relax and slouched against his chest, head lolling to the side of long throat and strong smell of hair product. His legs were long on the sofa, left shoulder against the back of the cushion and back against the long expanse of Se Hun’s shoulder. The crown of his head would occasionally bump against the younger man’s pointy chin, but Se Hun didn’t react to it, so used to Baek Hyun being shifty and annoying.

 

His eyes rolled up to see Se Hun’s forever-in-a-state-of-frowning-face. Their position was relaxed with Baek Hyun basically slobbing over the tall male with no care in the world. It was comfortable as hell.

 

He looked down at Baek Hyun’s touch, however, pointy chin, sharp nose and defined jawline. He had grown up into a very beautiful man. It was strange to see Se Hun’s state of hair. He was so used to the inky black colour, the drastic change left quite an impact on him.

 

He lazily fingered the bang that fell over the twenty year old man’s forehead with his right hand, silky strands cascaded over his digits, colour almost blending in with his fair skin. The man was quiet, eyes assessing the elder’s movement gallantly, gaze dipping gentle, even.

 

“Why did you do it?” He asked and almost smiled at the expected arched eyebrow.

 

“Do what?” Baek Hyun swore that Se Hun was programmed to answer his question with a question. His face was blank, not a trace of emotion can be found, and Baek Hyun didn’t know if that will ever be a favourable trait or not.

 

“Your hair.” He answered him. Se Hun’s stare hardened at his answer. There was a resignation glint to it, if that was even possible. It was as if Se Hun had expected his answer, but obviously didn’t like how correct he was.

 

“Don’t you like it?” he asked, voice and pitch still the same if not for the blank whiney undertone to it. Baek Hyun knew it well. Ten years ago back when Min Seok and Se Hun still lived in Bucheon before moving to the expensive city due to their father’s promotion. He remembered how ten year old Se Hun used to be very expressive, whining and running after Baek Hyun with snot drooling down his nose and Min Seok chasing after him with white handkerchief. Step brothers. Different mothers, but Min Seok had always been a great boy, and now, a greater man.

 

“It’s weird.” He said after a while. It made him mad for odd reasons, because he liked how clean Se Hun always looked like. To see him making such a daring and bold move showed how grown up the boy that used to chase him around was. It unsettled him at odd places, still stuck in the past where Se Hun will forever be a boy that won’t hesitate to show how much he really loved cuddling and milkshakes and chocolates without caring about people’s opinion.

 

He didn’t like it.

 

He didn’t like how much Se Hun had change over the years, and this move, this hair bleaching business, was a glaring proof.

 

It made him sad, because Se Hun will always be little Se Hun in his head.

 

He wondered if it made the man angry too at Baek Hyun’s narrowed mind set.

 

“But you like Chan Yeol’s hair colour.” Se Hun said after a while and his statement caught him off guard. “You kept telling him how good it looks like on him, so what’s wrong with my hair?”

 

“Chan Yeol’s different.” He defended, always defending, as if he was a guilty man. His heartbeat went crazy under his chest, because suddenly, silver hair and long thick fingers and pouty lips clouded his mind, gruff voice calling out for his name. Wide shoulders and heavy weight pinning him down onto the mattress and all of his shameful wet dreams come forth to the front of his head.

 

“What makes him so different?” Se Hun’s tone was accusing, his grip around the elder’s chest was still a constant presence, and the obvious blooming distress was evident on Se Hun’s face. Eyebrows crinkling down, furrowed, and frown growing deeper.

 

“The colour makes you look older.” He finally said jaggedly, diverting the conversation into another direction. Se Hun didn’t buy it, he was sharp, and so Baek Hyun changed his strategy, allowing his fingers to run across the younger man’s warm scalp. He knew Se Hun liked it when he did that. It was strange to touch another man like this, he thought, he didn’t think any normal man would usually do this, but Se Hun just melted. He knew the man liked to be touch, liked skin contact, and the only other person that would do it to him was only him. Min Seok hated to be pet and cuddled, Chan Yeol was too aggressive and jumpy, whereas Jong Dae just can’t stay still and would feel awkward to be manhandled. 

 

But his tactic worked anyway, Se Hun at least got over the conversation of hair colour and Chan Yeol.

 

“I’m twenty this year, Baek Hyun.”

 

“ _Hyung_. Where’s your respect?”

 

“None after you threw up on my brother’s expensive rug four months ago and had me accountable for it.”

 

“I was drunk.”

 

“And you would recall that I’ve specifically told you to stop drinking before you got drunk.”

 

“You mean that half-hearted shit you pulled on me where you told me to go to sleep? Right in the middle of the party?”

 

“If you’ve heeded me, you won’t be throwing up your lunch on my brother’s rug.”

 

“Grudge is an unbecoming trait to keep, Se Hun-nie.”

 

“He barred me from entering his room for _three_ whole months!”

 

“You have your own room! Why on earth do you need to go into his?”

 

“He’s my brother! And I happen to like his company!”

 

“Oh screw this.”

 

“No, screw you.”

 

Chan Yeol walked in on them like this –bantering with Baek Hyun’s fingers still in Se Hun’s hair and the younger’s eyes soft and warm on him. He looked up when he heard a loud thump sound and saw that Chan Yeol had shrug his bag onto the floor before his eyes swiped over the two of them on the couch.

 

His stance was nonchalant, his grin was cheeky, but it was easy for Baek Hyun to see right through his farce, to see right through the fiery eyes and clenched fist.

 

Because they were best friends.

 

Despite knowing Se Hun and Min Seok much longer, he’d spent the better half of his day with Chan Yeol because they were classmates, they had the same fire. And more than four years of friendship allowed him the privilege to see and understand all of his best friend’s actions and body languages.

 

“What’s this?” He said, voice a little breathless and it made Baek Hyun’s breath hiccupped at odd melodious staccato. Chan Yeol sounded as if he was affected. “You two look so indecent like this.” The raised eyebrows was comical, not matching with the red beanie atop silver hair and black varsity jacket with leather sleeves pulled to his elbows atop white tee and black skinny jeans. “Lemme join the two of you, and we’ll have an even more scandalous threesome.” He looked so fucking gorgeous.

 

Chan Yeol stalked over to them, unknowingly making Baek Hyun’s palm sweat and freezing up, before the man kneeled onto the sofa with unblinking eyes, knees dipping into the cushiony surface of the sofa between his obscenely opened thighs and Baek Hyun thought he saw it. Heat, hidden like a lukewarm whiskey and hunger and they were thick, a little hint of headiness to it, and they made his lips dry and mouth, strangely watered.

 

It can’t be.

 

It can’t be, because this must just be some game to the man’s eyes. A challenge or a joke of the sort, because it simply just **can’t** be and his guts clenched in dejectedly, disappointment already quickly travelling up to his chest, but it still made no move in slowing down his heartbeat.

 

He had to remind himself of one glaring fact –

 

Chan Yeol liked games after all.

 

He fucking **loved** games.

 

The tallest of the three had placed his palm over the back of the sofa, his knees were on the span of space between Baek Hyun’s thighs, coarse material of his skinny jeans touching the inner part of his legs and his height shadowed the two other men as he leaned in. His lips stretched into a strained and forced grin, his face was inching closer and his hand that was on the back of the couch had dipped closer to Baek Hyun’s shoulder with each of his deliberate movement.

 

It was a move laced with a domineering force. Baek Hyun thought his own eyes were as wide as a saucer and he had stopped breathing at all. Chan Yeol’s cologne was strong, he smelled good, and Baek Hyun wondered for the umpteenth time, why was it so hard for him to even form a word? A protest? To tease back or just some reaction at all? Why was it so hard to form a thought without worshipping his best friend like a fucking lunatic?

 

Baek Hyun wondered if the man was even aware of all the effect he had on him by just breathing and existing alone. How desperate he made Baek Hyun the last five weeks, caught up in guilty and confusing wanton desire for something he will always knew to be so unattainable.

 

He didn’t know that he was capable of procuring any sort of noise until Chan Yeol’s other free hand made a grab around the collar of his chequered shirt before quickly pulling the shorter man forward, intending for it to be playful, when Baek Hyun was all in all, putty in the man’s hand. The forcefulness of his tug made him moan, but he had quickly bit his lips and they had sounded like a pathetic whimper instead and then he saw it again. The ember, Chan Yeol’s widening his eyes before sucking in his lip with his teeth. 

 

“Oh hyung, you’re back?”

 

Se Hun’s bored drawl drew both of their attention and Chan Yeol snapped back his body up into a kneeling position like a coiled spring, immediate and fast, fingers quickly unclasping from the other man’s collar like he was burnt.

 

“Oh please,” Min Seok said dismissively and Baek Hyun eyed, with wide eyes and painful chest, the elder man that now had stood few feet behind Chan Yeol by the doorway. “Don’t mind me, and do continue with this strange threesome session of yours.” Chan Yeol had scrambled to his feet in a heartbeat at that and his face was surprisingly red, his eyes wide.

 

“What threesome? This is plain voyeurism, and I’m the third party –singled out.” Se Hun grumbled as he switched the channel from The Voice to CNN, which was strange, because he was sure they were watching Scandal before and the episode was just starting when Chan Yeol walked in. When did the younger man even change the channel?

 

Min Seok snorted in response before walking past Se Hun, flicking his stepbrother’s forehead with a muttered, _“Dick.”_ under his breath and despite how Chan Yeol’s head was straight, he can clearly see uncertain orbs eyeing the white carpet under his feet.

 

Baek Hyun straightened up, and it was then that he realised Se Hun’s hand was no longer around his chest and he looked up to see Chan Yeol scratching the back of his head distressfully as he followed Min Seok into the kitchen, probably to offer some help with dinner.

 

What the hell was happening anyway?

 

He moved until he was no longer leaning against the other younger man and sat straight on the couch, feet firm against the carpet and head facing the entrance to the living room. He pulled his feet up until he was sitting with crossed feet and he leaned down, cold and sweaty fingers pressed to close over his face and his heartbeat still had yet to calm down.

 

The drawling sound of the reporter presenting the news should be a distraction enough, and Se Hun’s quiet hum of disagreement at the potential hike in the petrol’s price should’ve steal his attention away –but he can’t. He fucking can’t.

 

Because he was already struggling to breathe as it was and to make things worst –he was sporting a bloody half hard boner.

 

He was fucked.

 

 


	5. Four

Chan Yeol.

 

Park Chan Yeol.

 

His best friend was beautiful.

 

Baek Hyun can’t think of anything else as he stared at the other man on the seat in front of Oh Se Hun, light streaming in from the side window of the car. Chan Yeol had a knee pulled up against his chest, body and all leaning against the door. Jong Dae was loud behind his steering wheel from in front of Baek Hyun, jumble of words screamed out in the name of singing along. Se Hun was a religious follower, bobbing his head along to the beat.

 

Park Chan Yeol was beautiful.

 

He looked beautiful no matter how ungallant he can be most of the time. Because his facial attribution depressingly played a very robust role in vindicating his good look. Long sharp nose, with defined jawline and long neck, eyes shaped in almond, soft at times, but fiery for most. His lips were full and pouty, his voice was deep and when he smiled – _god_ , Chan Yeol liked smiling, too generous, truthfully, and when he did it, he did it with a lot of teeth and gum.  

 

And then there was the matter of his mannerism too.

 

Park Chan Yeol had grown up to be a perfect gentleman, he realised.

 

His parents must be proud, for sure.

 

The glass of the side window was warm against his scalp. Baek Hyun had the blazing afternoon sun to be blamed, despite how bright Chan Yeol was, sitting in front by the passenger side, facing ahead, lips tightly pursed, because it was a known fact that he hated Jong Dae’s Mac Demarco’s [Salad Days](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RheJW2nhkb8). Hidden behind Jong Dae like this, Baek Hyun wished he can keep doing this, quiet in his observation with no one calling him out. Guilty. He was guilty for harbouring this guilty pleasure so passionately.

 

It was unbecoming of him to be this careless.

 

But his feelings were not going to grow any less, he realised.

 

And he just happened to like pretty things.

 

How can one even possibly move on from Park Chan Yeol?

 

What was the key to unlock that trait? That possibility?

 

And then it happened.

 

He made the mistake of looking up to the rear mirror, because then, he saw it. Through them, he caught Chan Yeol’s eyes. _Fire_. Roving and searching and Baek Hyun felt his lips dried up at the intensity of his stare.

 

Fire and fire.

 

It was as if time stood still and suddenly, only the two of them existed.

 

Chan Yeol was unyielding, didn’t mind at all that he was caught staring at Baek Hyun all this while. In retrospect, it was only reasonable that Baek Hyun was just as stubborn. Both men guilty. Chan Yeol held his gaze and Baek Hyun gradually felt his stomach dropping and his chest clenching in, throat closing up and head dizzy and high. 

 

His fingers grew cold and clammy, the car was still loud, and he was aware that he was still hungry despite the kimbap he had for breakfast and it was only 12.30 pm. They were on their way for lunch, and Baek Hyun shouldn’t be this hungry.

 

But he was starving.

 

Just so fucking **_hungry_**.

 

Chan Yeol was still staring, blinking, but still there.

 

He wondered who would relent first. Admitting defeat and guilt before turning away, because the prospective of swimming in sharp denial and lying and covering up the fact that he liked looking at Chan Yeol wasn’t that pleasing anymore.

 

He wondered if the other man knew at all.

 

Knew of the torch his best friend carried for him?

 

“Chan Yeol, can you get my power bank from my bag?”

 

Finally, it was Jong Dae’s voice that broke whatever strange limbo they were in, and both of them turned away, because Chan Yeol had twisted his body around, and Baek Hyun made a grab for the backpack by his feet. But he looked up then, looked up to see an unmoved Chan Yeol who had his arm stretched out for the bag, but eyes roaming over Baek Hyun’s face, searching and determined and he didn’t know what to think.

 

Because the way Chan Yeol stared at his lips made his breathing hiccupped and paused and the tall man looked up to his eyes when their fingers touched above the fabric of Jong Dae’s bag, both men stupid and, perhaps, confused. Chan Yeol didn’t pull away, and Baek Hyun didn’t want him to.

 

There was nothing subtle about it.

 

There was nothing subtle about how Chan Yeol’s eyes never left him, how his fingers rubbed over Baek Hyun’s in circle before the shorter man finally pulled away.

 

===

 

It had gotten weirder when they reached the café. While Jong Dae dropped them off in front of the shoplot with rows of cafes so that they can find a table while he looked for a parking spot, Se Hun had leaded the way with long legs and constant humming. It was ridiculous. Because his voice sucked and the song he was humming to suck even more and he walked too fast.

 

The café was on the upper storey of the shoplot, the staircase was a torture, but Baek Hyun endured it with Chan Yeol following behind.

 

Se Hun was efficient as he pushed the glass door open, striding in with purpose and left the door closed to Baek Hyun’s face, but that was before huge palm laid flat against the glass, stopping it from swinging closed so carelessly. Baek Hyun stopped in his stride, still breathless from the stairs and he looked up to the long arm covered by white and electric blue varsity jacket and turned around to look at a handsome face. 

 

Chan Yeol had a snapback placed backwards atop his silver hair in a typical fuckboy fashion, and his eyes were wide as he held the door opened for Baek Hyun.

 

It came to a surprise to them, because Baek Hyun realised that the movement wasn’t deliberate at all. Chan Yeol hadn’t meant to do that, but he still felt his heart skipped a beat.

 

 “I’m –”

 

“ –thanks.”

 

He thought he saw his best friend’s ears turned deep crimson, eyes wide with lips parted open when Baek Hyun had interrupted him and Baek Hyun felt like a fool. His face burned. So he can only nod his head furiously before turning around.

 

He thought he saw Se Hun gave them both a sceptical look, but that was before the waitress had called out for them to their table.

 

===

 

It happened exactly a week after their supposed threesome scandal. Baek Hyun would, in the future, refer to this as a sort of his ‘ _proper’_ awakening phase.

 

 _“Inner gay.”_ Jong In would say. _“Release that dam of yours and allow the inner gay to flow out.”_

 

He realised that after rooming with the younger marketing student for the past two years, it was best to allow the eccentric man’s trash talk run free, especially when he was drunk, because they will never make sense. He tried deciphering it before, in the name of bonding, but gave up as soon as he realised that it was a lost cause.

 

Spring will end in six weeks.

 

It was still chilly, but it was bearable, and Baek Hyun liked it.

 

And Jong In was sporting a huge purple hickey on his throat.

 

He knew of Jong In’s preference very well. See, the thing was, Jong In liked men. A simple scan over the man’s ways can’t make a person coming up with that conclusion easily, because Jong In has a sweet personality, has a pair of sleepy eyes, has pink-bleached hair, it was easier to see that as a part of his charm, his personality. He was stylish, simple, and sweet, and most people attributed that to the fact that he was a marketing student and a metrosexual man.

 

But Baek Hyun knew well, because while Jong In had mentioned it to him occasionally, he also tended to be handsy when he was drunk.

 

That was why Baek Hyun always stressed for him to lock the door, because the sight of Jong In splaying on top of the elder while snogging the life out of him tend to make people misunderstand.

 

The kisses won’t last long. Two to three minutes at most, and Baek Hyun allowed it, because there was no mutual attraction, and Jong In was a great kisser anyway.

 

Baek Hyun closed his eyes this time.

 

The day had been long. Chan Yeol’s actions were confusing no matter how in sync they were. It was still easy to fall back into step to their light-hearted and casual friendship, everything still intact, but somehow, everything has changed. He swore he thought he saw Se Hun eyeing them the whole day confusingly. Baek Hyun didn’t blame the younger man at all, because confusion might just be his theme for that particular day.

 

He felt Jong In’s long thigh parted his open. This was when Baek Hyun would usually draw the line, pushing the younger away, because Jong In was just drunk, and he loved sex, **and** he was fucking **drunk**. But Baek Hyun allowed it, just this once. Partly because Jong In was tall, 5-6cm shorter than Chan Yeol, sure, but it was easy for his imagination to run wild, replacing reality with his guilty pleasure, because he didn’t know since when he loved another weight to smoulder him deliciously like this.

 

He thought that being crushed into the mattress like this by a heavy weight of another body somehow posed a different feeling. While he’d done it with girls few times here and there, there was a distinctive difference between being crushed upon and robbed all of control than being straddled, immobile, but still in control.

 

He wondered where he stood then –was he even in control at all?

 

Baek Hyun’s arms were still, pressed to his side. They always would whenever they did this. He freaked out two years ago the first time Jong In crushed him in his sleep and molested his lips with breath stunk with alcohol, he kicked Jong In’s out of his bed the second time the man did it.

 

_“Why did you even do that?”_

 

_“I like kissing.”_

 

_“Yeah, no shit.”_

 

_“And I have no control when I’m drunk.”_

 

_“That’s fucked.”_

 

_“Sorry hyung, we can make a new arrangement. I’ll find a new room? I’m sorry.”_

 

_“Don’t be dumb. I’m straight, what’s the worst thing can happen anyway?”_

 

Baek Hyun was so confident back then, he was so sure of himself that he told Jong In – _“I guess a little kiss is fine, just remember that I can kill you in your sleep if you dare go further. You’re lucky I’m a saint.”_

 

_“I think your conception of religion and good deeds are fucked up.”_

 

Except that he wasn’t that confident anymore, because hell, Chan Yeol fucked shit up with his head and things changed. Things always change, and look at him now, allowing things to escalate further. Simple smooching now turned into a full make out session, and Baek Hyun was panting, fingers stranded into sweaty pink-bleached hair and there was a set of full lips now trailing down his throat, sucking his skin and flesh deliciously between set of teeth. Jong In’s long body rested between his thighs obscenely and it was Chan Yeol’s face blinking at the fore of his mind that made Baek Hyun moaned jaggedly and realised he needed a fucking break.

 

“S- _stop_ ,” He gasped, before drawling out a breathless moan when Jong In moved his hips, grinding against him.

 

Shit.

 

That was _so_ fucking good.

 

Jong In was gay and Baek Hyun was straight, but how come Jong In’s dick was only semi hard and Baek Hyun’s was in all states of solid?

 

Obviously the younger man didn’t stop. How could he? It had been more than ten minutes now, what self-control the other have must had already flown out of the window and Baek Hyun raised his arms, because he knew how sensitive his neck was, it won’t be long before he’d be game over. He didn’t think he was ready for things to escalate just yet, and imagination tend to do shit to him, because _wow_ , Chan Yeol would just –

 

“Ow,” Jong In mumbled softly from his throat when he pinched at the man’s waist, flesh pulled between his thumb and forefinger, “Ow. _Ow_. **OWW**!” he twisted harder until the younger man pulled away from his neck. Eyebrows furrowed –betrayed. “Why do you do that? It hurts!”

 

Why did he do that?

 

He didn’t know.

 

Breathing was hard, his face felt hot and he was still hard. Jong In was still heavy on top of him, body splayed flush atop, weight crushing Baek Hyun, pinning him against the mattress and eyes starting to clear into soberness. He wondered if Chan Yeol’s weight would just –

 

 **Stop**.

 

_Fuck!_

 

Jong In looked confused, face bewildered before he pulled his head slightly backwards. His eyes scanned over Baek Hyun’s face, brown irises probably trying to learn his facial expression and that was before a look of realisation washed over him and he sucked a startled breath in.

 

“Wait a minute,”

 

“What?”

 

“I’m not hard.”

 

“Look –”

 

“So that means –”

 

“Jong In, _please_ –”

 

“Y-you’re –”

 

“Don’t say it –”

 

“–but hyung! You’re hard, how come you’re hard?”

 

“Jong In –”

 

“You’re straight, you’re supposed to be straight!”

 

“I was –”

 

“Was? Why is that in past tense –hyung, what’s happening?”

 

“Shit, I don’t know!”

 

“You’re hard!”

 

“I know, Jong In –”

 

“You’re like real hard –”

 

“I fucking know I am!”

 

===

 

It was 2am when Jong In got completely sober.

 

The whole flat was quiet, because cheap rent equalled to suspicious people grouped together under one roof, and Baek Hyun hardly see them all. He needed to stay at a cheap place, and at that time, Chan Yeol was still rooming with his sister and Jong Dae was still then, and even now, staying with his cousins. He couldn’t possibly barge into Se Hun’s place, because he didn’t think their father would appreciate having another bachelor joining the three of them for dinner, despite how the elder man was only there for a month every half a year. He was an offshore engineer, worked at the sea most of the months.

 

He met Jong In at one of Joon Myun’s parties.

 

First year, sad and lost, trying to find someone to rent room with.

 

The campus’ hostel was already full, and they somehow just clicked, finding this cheap flat looking for tenants. The place had no elevator service and only five-storey tall. They were lucky to get the third floor. It will be developed into some high rise apartments soon and construction will begin in two years’ time, but Baek Hyun will probably be out by then.

 

“Hyung?”

 

Baek Hyun looked up from his bed. The room was dim, if not for the lamp on their study table. Jong In sat at the edge of his bed, facing the elder and he was looking straight at him. Baek Hyun was warm under the cocoon of his duvet, lain on his back, and he turned to his side, facing Jong In more directly.

 

“What?” He called out in return, and Jong In’s stare hardened. He looked handsome in black skinny jeans and grey long sleeved jumper. His hair was carelessly pushed sideways, fluffy and soft and pink.

 

“What happened?” the younger asked, genuine concern layering his voice and Baek Hyun felt his chest clenched in, because Jong In was honestly a sweet man. He was smart, scored himself a scholarship to be at the college, he worked part time at a convenient store to support himself, and he just happened to be gay. He drinks only when depressed, and having an unrequited love over his _male_ best friend made him very depressed and drunk.

 

His habit of wanting to kiss anyone when drunk made Baek Hyun squirmed at odd places, but bearing the thought that anyone might take advantage of the younger man made him strangely protective. That was the reason he decided to stick by the man’s side. It was better him then strange elder and dangerous men. He wondered from where that magnanimous side of him came from?

 

“Nothing happened.” He said, defensive, because Baek Hyun was a guilty man. And guilty man tended to be defensive in all sort of phases to be right.

 

“Was it Chan Yeol?” The question made his lips dried up quickly. It was happening again –sweaty palms, uncontrollable heartbeat and confusing panic.

 

How was it that the name rang easily from the man’s lips?

 

Was Baek Hyun that obvious?

 

His vulgar fixation over his best friend?

 

“I – _what_?”

 

“It’s him isn’t it? I saw you guys on campus. He won’t look at anything else other than you.”

 

“W-what?”

 

“So it’s not him?”

 

“What?”

 

“Hyung, please stop responding me in one word, it’s highly confusing.”

 

“You’re making me confused!” Baek Hyun sat up on his bed in haste, whipping his head to the side to face Jong In more directly. “What are you talking about? How is any of this about Chan Yeol at all?”

 

“Are you saying that none of this is about him?”

 

“I would know what to tell you if I understand what you’re talking about.”

 

Jong In crossed his arms over his chest, looking displeased at the elder’s outburst. He always had been more private and rather quiet sometimes whereas Baek Hyun was just loud and vibrant most of the time. He was loud when on the phone with his friends, loud when watching dramas and movies on his laptop, and loud when dressing up in the morning with Chan Yeol or Se Hun nagging from his bed. And he was especially loud when Jong In didn’t lock their door after coming back home drunk.

 

“You like Chan Yeol.”

 

“Of course I do, he’s my best friend.”

 

“No, not like that, you like him. You want to touch his dick.”

 

His clenched fists were unintentional, and Baek Hyun felt his face growing hot. He didn’t want to think about his heartbeat, because they were basically a speed boat, and his palms got sweaty, just like his feet and his neck. It wasn’t even hot in the room, summer was still six weeks away.

 

“That was highly inappropriate, Jong In,”

 

“Is it?”

 

“I don’t want to talk about this.”

 

“Hyung, at this point, I think only I can understand your problem. Are you just going to bottle it up?”

 

“There’s no problem to even begin with, Jong In.”

 

“I’m just trying to help.”

 

“I know.” He knew so fucking well. “And it sucks, I suck, I’m a dick, but I don’t want to talk about it _yet_.”

 

When Jong In sighed, he sounded older than his age. He stood up after that and pulled his jumper over his head. Baek Hyun looked away, because he knew what will come next. Skinny jeans and boxer and there was a rustling sound of the duvet being removed. He looked towards the other side of the bed again and saw that Jong In had already settled in, lain on his side, facing the wall. His shoulders were broad, fuller than Chan Yeol’s. He knew that, and he bit his lips for letting Chan Yeol doing shit to his head again.

 

And then Jong In spoke.

 

He said, “You know, when I was talking about Chan Yeol just now, it’s only because he’s the obvious one out of the two of you. I thought he made a move on you, or something, I’m only confused as to why you got so affronted by it, s’all.”

 

 _What_?

 

“Come again?”

 

“Good night, hyung.”

 

He threw his cover off himself and stalked to Jong In at a speed he didn’t know he was capable of. Jong In’s shoulder was warm when he shook them.

 

“Jong In, what do you mean? Say it again.”

 

“I don’t want to talk about it, I want to sleep.”

 

“Don’t be a dick,”

 

“You’re the dick one.”

 

“Jong In!”

 

“Good night, hyung.” The younger then shrugged his shoulder, throwing off Baek Hyun’s hand.

 

Dick.

 

Twat.

 

Fucking dick.

 

Talk about karma, man.

 

===

 

Baek Hyun was practically pulling his hair for the finals’ preparation in frustration four weeks before summer began.

 

It was somewhat satisfying how he wasn’t alone in his voyage of misery, because the lecturer for his Accounting Theory had announced during their last lecture that morning chirpily about how 30% of the class will fail for the final due to bad midterm result and assignment.

 

_“But hey, there will be summer class if demand is good. That is, if you guys decided not to wait another year for this subject to be offered again!”_

 

Jong Dae had looked determined as he dragged both Baek Hyun and Chan Yeol to the front of the class after the lecture was over to inform the lecturer that the three of them will register for the summer course and demanded to know when the registration for the summer class will open.

 

“We’re going to fail this paper again, aren’t we?” Chan Yeol asked dejectedly at the coffee shop the three of them had settled at. The sun was bright, birds were still loudly chirping, because it was only 11am, but the atmosphere surrounding them was moody, dark and sad, mirroring Chan Yeol’s miserable face as the man slouched against his chair with slouched shoulders. The simple smiley of  **:-)** next to the name **Tara Banks** was such a contrast to his sad face that it was not even funny anymore.

 

So it was only fair that Baek Hyun was depressed too. Chain reaction, that kind of shit.

 

“We knew right from the first day, anyway.” Baek Hyun supplemented with an ankle crossed over a knee, body slouched further against his chair, reflecting both Jong Dae’s and Chan Yeol’s posture. Just look at the three of them. What a bunch of dramatic fuckers, truth to be told.  

 

“Why bother trying?” Jong Dae had an aviator on, he always kept one in his backpack in case of a sunny day, but Baek Hyun knew that was a pile of crap, because Jong Dae had an obsession about trying to look cool and gangster-like. His hair was messy and he had Chan Yeol’s black beanie covering them up.

 

“We’ll only fail again.” Baek Hyun agreed solemnly, because wasn’t that the truth? They should’ve just skipped class.

 

“What’s the point of going to class man, if we’re just going to fail?” Chan Yeol agreed with him. Although a part of him felt fucking good that Chan Yeol agreed with him, it didn’t even manage to lift some of his depression away at all.  

 

“Oh my god, will you guys just drop it?”

 

Se Hun dropped his bag onto the table before slouching on the chair next to Baek Hyun. The chair scrapped against the floor noisily as the younger dragged his chair closer to him. He groaned in response from the loud scratchy sound no matter how he knew and lived with the fact that Oh Se Hun was a peculiar asshole. He didn’t like skin contact much with anyone else, but when it came to Min Seok and Baek Hyun, the other man basically thrived for it. Like now, look at him, their shoulders were basically smashed to one another.  

 

“Personal space, man.” He muttered under his breath. It was futile, they will only be ignored, because that was just how the younger man was programmed. Asshole _in_ and _out_.

 

It wasn’t as if Baek Hyun didn’t notice the trait, because honestly, who couldn’t?

 

He was just so used to it.

 

He just happened to see Park Chan Yeol’s disgusted sneer from his corner of the table before the tall man leaned forward and pushed out two long arms, grabbing at Se Hun’s chair and pulled them closer to him, almost toppling the youngest over in return. Se Hun gave him a dirty look and Chan Yeol just then went ahead and slouch against the table instead, burying his head into his crossed arms.

 

Although the move may have resulted in his heartbeat to beat a few thousands beats, that still, of course, just confused the hell out of him.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Although I know I should apologise for being so predictable with the KaiBaek thing (because it’s a fucking fact that I can’t help from indulging myself with them aha wow oops) but, lol. The scene was not M worthy, but damn, I still giggled like a school girl when I wrote that part because I’m lame like that. Mhmm. Just so you know, I wrote this when the boys were still in the Love Me Right era, hence, Jongin’s hair colour etc.


	6. Five

Summer.

 

Summer was coming, and it only meant that finals will be over.

 

Baek Hyun thought that it was fitting how freedom was accompanied with the promise of blue sky and bright sun and scorching heat. Because it was only appropriate that the long awaited sovereignty will also be justified with pain and sorrow, because nothing was free in this world, and Baek Hyun believed in an equal-give-and-take theory. It was only fair.

 

While Baek Hyun looked forward to the warm weather, not having to wear layers upon layers, the varsity jacket lover, Park Chan Yeol, detested it with his whole heart.

 

_“I have weird legs, I don’t even look good in shorts.”_

 

_“Since when do you care about how you look?”_

 

_“I do! You think why I use hair conditioner?”_

 

_“But the sea, Chan Yeol! The sea! Water! That’s gotta be something, right?”_

 

_“God, the sunburn. You know how easily I get sunburn.”_

 

_“Just put the sunblock all over your skin. Don’t be a dramatic dick.”_

 

The pressure of the exams was already on them. At times like this, the three of them tended not to stick together as each of them was an equally great distraction to one another. Baek Hyun, however, didn’t know how he’d gotten robbed into sticking with Chan Yeol.

 

Both of them had the dining table filled with their notes and laptops.

 

Baek Hyun had crossed both of his legs onto the chair, sitting comfortably while trying in vain not to let sleep and fatigue get the best of him. His eyes were heavy, watery, but he found that if he focused hard enough on the lines of words, he might memorise a word or two rather than throwing everything away for something as mundane as sleep.

 

Pftt.

 

What was sleep anyway?

 

“Tired?” Chan Yeol’s soft voice startled him into focus. He looked up to see that the tall man had taken off his reading glass, body slouched against the chair and eyes focused on Baek Hyun.

 

It was hard to believe that someone who took good care of himself like Park Chan Yeol had bad eyesight. He would usually have his contact lens on, and while some people might see that move as a simple guilty vanity, that was not the case at all. It was all purely because Chan Yeol was a clumsy asshole and tended to lose his glasses more than a few times a week.

 

“Very.” He told his best friend honestly, throwing his highlighter onto his opened book and clenching a fist atop the sheets.

 

Chan Yeol’s fingers were cold when they softly pat his knuckle.

 

Baek Hyun allowed the touch to linger.

 

And just because he was curious, he twisted his fist and laid his palm up opened, making way for Chan Yeol’s huge palm to dwarf over his.

 

Chan Yeol’s fingers were getting warmer now.

 

When he looked up, it was to a small and shy smile.

 

They continued studying and Chan Yeol pulled back his hand much longer after that. He didn’t know that it was possible at all, but the he swore he could feel the lost of warmth.

 

===

 

The exam hall was awfully cold.

 

His fingers were numb and icy the whole time he was stabbing his pen into the answer sheet, it sucked –

 

Baek Hyun can feel his balls _figuratively_ shrinking in.

 

He tried reasoning with himself that the only cause of that shit happening was because of the temperature, and it had nothing to do with the state of his mind over the cock-numbing paper he was trying to answer. 

 

He could’ve done better.

 

He could’ve studied harder.

 

Fucking Chan Yeol holding his hand and jacking shit up with his mental state.

 

But he guessed one night of cramping a whole lot of shit into his head couldn’t make that much of a difference, anyway.

 

===

 

If there was one thing that he was grateful about life, it was that he wasn’t the only other party who ended up miserably outside of the exam hall.

 

The exam was still running, there was still fifty minutes left and there was Chan Yeol, sitting by the staircase that will lead down to the parking lot just next to the exam hall. He was nursing a can of chrysanthemum tea and a packet of red bean bun. Baek Hyun sat next to him with a huge sigh, immediately catching the tall man’s attention and Chan Yeol’s face basically lit up like a Christmas tree when he grinned.

 

“You too? _Nice_.”

 

“Shut up. Dicks like you shouldn’t exist.”

 

“Meh, some miserable fucker might like looking at my face. I’m handsome.”

 

“Miserable, yes, but not really a fucker.” He mumbled to himself with a shake of his head. Chan Yeol looked at him questionably and Baek Hyun quickly interjected, “I wonder how Jong Dae is faring. He must have done better if he’s still in there.” He then planted his face into his two palms with a moan and bit his lips at the soft pat on his back. “Unbelievable.”

 

“Nah, son, he got out five minutes before me and getting the car now. We thought you’re the only one that’ll survive this jack-shit paper, but apparently, we thought wrong.” 

 

They went for pancakes after that, not caring that they should get started with their preparation for tomorrow’s morning Advanced Accounting System. None of them were too happy about it, but at least Se Hun was when he joined the three of them twenty minutes later with a lazy grin, obviously leaving the exam hall early too, no doubt.

 

Se Hun was very nonchalant about everything. Baek Hyun thought that the man was rather lucky with being average in everything he did. He didn’t need to try so hard, he’ll get that B- and if he focused _just_ a little bit harder, he’ll get a B+ or sometimes, even an A-.

 

“How’s Accounting Theory?” Se Hun asked all casually and the bout of miserable groans that chorused following the question somehow made him smile. Baek Hyun felt like shoving the man’s smiling face to the table. He almost did, his fingers were already curled at the back of the man’s head. It just so happened that on top of being tall as fuck and good looking, Oh Se Hun was just strong and no matter how much force he put into his fingers, his head just won’t budge.

 

“Try harder, Baek Hyun-ah, you’ll pop out a shit.” The younger commented nonchalantly and it immediately pulled out a huge grin out of Chan Yeol.

 

He should probably be insulted by the comment, but he just can’t help how fast his heart was beating at the other tall man’s smile.

 

Fucking masochist, that was basically him in a nutshell.

 

===

 

He ended up going back, gratefully, with Oh Se Hun as the younger man had offered.

 

The drive was a silent one as it was still basically early, only 11.45 am. Se Hun initially had the music on, Dizzee Rascal’s [Bonkers](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ci40ae8BlcE) playing loudly with him rapping along, but it was annoying, because Baek Hyun was still unsurprisingly agitated and antsy that morning from the Accounting Theory, so he switched off the radio altogether with a loud sigh and leaned his head against the window.

 

He closed his eyes when long fingers ruffled his hair messy, almost smiling at the memory of how he was the one who used to doing this whenever Se Hun was upset back when they were younger.

 

“It’s gonna be okay, hyung.”

 

“How do you know?”

 

“I’m a part-time fairy godmother, don’t you know that?”

 

“Fuck you.”

 

“No thanks, honestly, it’ll complicate shit.”

 

“Life is already not an okay-shit anyway, it basically is fucking me over now.”

 

“Nah, it can’t be that bad.”

 

“How do you even–”

 

“Because I’m a part-time fairy god –”

 

“Never mind, just forget I ask.”

 

Baek Hyun didn’t need to turn around to witness the shit-eating grin Se Hun was sporting behind the steering wheel as he pulled away his hand from the elder’s head. He’d forgotten how unnervingly annoying the younger can be most of the time, _goddamnit_ , he used to be better at being a shit to Se Hun’s parade.

 

Se Hun ended up coming up into his flat with a blank face. He reasoned with the elder that he needed to use the bathroom, because –

 

_“Some urges just can’t be contained. Forgive me for being such a weak human being.”_

 

_“I thought you’re a part-time fairy godmother.”_

 

_“I can’t see any necessary reason for you to be this rude, hyung.”_

 

The bedsheet was cold when he lain down on them, hands folded beneath his head atop the pillow and he bended a knee. The room was vacant when he came in, the other bed crisp and untouched, a proof that Jong In had probably stayed up all night the night before for his morning exam, and he wondered if the younger would return back to their room at all.

 

The curtain was half closed, shadowing the room from the now glaring afternoon sun. Whatever little chilliness left in the room from the morning was quickly wearing off, heat starting to warm the room and Baek Hyun was contemplating on switching on the a/c.

 

The bedroom door creaked open to reveal tall Oh Se Hun. The younger man had a nonchalant expression. His long legs quickly covering the space between them before he walked pass the bed to the study desks.

 

The high pitch beep sound rang in the room and Baek Hyun had to hold his grin in when Se Hun had indirectly solved his dilemma by switching on the a/c himself. He quirked an eyebrow when the younger man hovered over him, broad shoulders shielding him from view as he straddled over Baek Hyun before climbing over him to the space between the elder and the wall.

 

The bed shook at his weight and Oh Se Hun had an arm crossed over his face, his sigh rumbled soon after that.

 

The silence that followed after was a comfortable one, but somehow, it made him dizzy with sleep now that the effect of the a/c was on impact. He shuffled in his spot, wriggling until he managed to use his legs in untangling the blob of duvet that had somehow meshed at the foot of the bed into a ball mess. Se Hun grunted as he lazily moved his feet along to assist him and they somehow managed to have the duvet untangled and covering their lower torso.

 

It was a tight fit for the two of them to be on the single bed like this, but this was Se Hun, _his_ Oh Se Hun, so going by principle, Baek Hyun didn’t think he minded the skin contact at all. If anything, Se Hun seemed as if he was ready to melt by the elder’s side.

 

“Your roommate is that marketing student Kim Jong In, yeah?” Se Hun suddenly asked, voice low and soft, drowsy. Baek Hyun only hummed in affirmation, warmth starting to crawl over him seeing that Se Hun had basically plastered himself against the elder’s side, thigh to thigh. “Then you’ll probably know of the talk going on about him.”

 

Baek Hyun shifted in his spot, turning around so he was laid on his side, one arm still bended beneath his head against the pillow while the other was pressed by his side.

 

“About which one now? There’s many.” He asked in return, because there were plentiful of talk going on about Jong In.

 

“That he’s gay?”

 

“Got that one covered.”

 

“About him banging most of the lecturers to maintain the 4-flat menace shit he’s into?”

 

“Nah, he hasn’t got the time to do that between studying and his part time job.”

 

“Is it true that I heard about him being a rent-boy and all?”

 

“Don’t think so, he does love sex, but not for money.”

 

“Has he tried making a move on you yet?”

 

“Classified.”

 

“So he did? Is it a recreational thing, then?”

 

“What is this, an interrogation session, Se Hun-ah?”

 

Se Hun was quiet after that, his arm still crossed over his face and Baek Hyun studied his long throat, his sharp jawline and his fluffy lips. He lived and breathed with the fact that the younger was a very good looking man. So it was only fair how affronting that the man, despite being this up close, didn’t manage to pull any sort of reaction out of him like how Chan Yeol always did. It was confusing. If he can go mad just from watching Chan Yeol breathing, why was Se Hun so very different? Or, for that matter, how was it even possible for only Chan Yeol to pull any unexpectedly inconvenient reaction out of him at all?

 

Se Hun pulled away his arm from his face moments after. He was quiet, as if he was mulling over a thought and Baek Hyun silently watched over the other man. It was strange. They were so close, he always knew that, but he didn’t think most of other men would behave this calmly with each other if laid this close.

 

The younger turned his face to the side, his eyes scanning the elder silently. The mattress was soft under them, the shared pillow was starting to warm from their heads and the duvet was doing a wonderful job shielding them against the onslaught of cold breeze from the a/c.

 

“You wanna know what your problem actually is, hyung?” Se Hun asked, face contorted frustratingly in a quiet way. “You don’t realise that you’re actually nice. You tend to undermine people’s bad side, you always want to see what you want, and you only want to see the positive side of them.”

 

“I don’t understand how that is a bad thing? Should I go around carousing with the thought of people plotting my death on every second? That’s just plain vanity, Se Hun-ah.”

 

Se Hun narrowed his eyes at his scoff, temper obviously trying to get the best of him, but Baek Hyun knew him better, knew the extent of his patience and knew that it was fucking hard to get him lashing out. It was frustrating why the younger man was acting this way. It was confusing the shit out of him because he didn’t think he liked the hint of hostility and accusatory behind the man’s words and tone.

 

They were quiet after that.

 

Baek Hyun was trying to keep his words in check because Se Hun was always the better out of the two of them and he didn’t want to say things he will surely regret later. He didn’t understand the man’s behaviour, he didn’t understand his hostility.

 

Se Hun was still looking at him. His bravado of being able to look at a person’s eyes despite their level of authority was borderlining pompous most of the times. Baek Hyun knew that, acknowledged that, but that still didn’t make the behaviour any less brattish.

 

“What I’m trying to say is _hyung_ ,” Se Hun started, “You tend to do things you don’t realise can be misleading.”

 

Se Hun’s soft voice was unexpected, apologetic almost.

 

“What do you mean?” He asked.

 

“I don’t know, like, you do all these nice things to people, touching them, indulging them with things, and I think it can easily mislead people.” Baek Hyun couldn’t help the smirk at Se Hun’s frustrated face and he snorted when there was a light kick to his shin. “My _point_ was, you do all these things and people can easily misinterpret your action. It’s as if you’re making a move on them, you know. It’s kinda creepy.”

 

“Why? Does your heart beat faster when you’re with me then?” He teased with a smirk and Se Hun narrowed his eyes, didn’t bother concealing his disgust at all. But the man closed his eyes when he pushed his fingers and carded them around the light coloured hair, pushing Se Hun’s bang back. “What about this? When I play with your hair like this?”

 

Se Hun let out a deep sigh and Baek Hyun grinned wider when he opened his eyes.

 

“I think you kinda miss the point here.”

 

“Did I?”

 

===

 

He decided to stay at his place that night instead of piggybacking at Chan Yeol’s studio like a parasite as he usually did any other night. Se Hun and he ended up sleeping the rest of the afternoon that day and they woke up around 4pm when Baek Hyun’s loud ringing tone screamed from the pocket of his skinny jeans when Jong Dae called him to ask about dinner.

 

It was when he walked out that night from the bathroom in the hallway and entered his room that he saw Jong In sitting on the floor next to his bed. Jong In was leaning against the mattress, body slumped forward with head bowed. He looked up when he heard the door creaked close and watched as the elder sauntered in with only boxer brief and towel around his neck. The younger man’s backpack was on the floor next to him, and his face was pale, tired, and Baek Hyun can tell that the man must have holed himself up in the library again after his morning paper.

 

“Put on some clothes, hyung, or you’ll catch a cold.” Jong In said softly and Baek Hyun only nodded lazily as he walked to his cupboard, pulling out a fresh tee for himself.

 

It was later that night when Jong In had settled himself at his desk and Baek Hyun at his own next to the younger that the thought crossed his mind at all. His writing hand stilled and hovered over his printed notes at the memory. He looked up to the pin board nailed to the wall ahead of him, eyes scanning over the timetables, tickets from the gigs and raves he attended and pictures of him and his friends and his families. The pin board was already there when he moved in, and Baek Hyun just stacked things onto it in a sad attempt not to lose them.

 

There was one particular picture that caught his attention. It was that of his mother hugging him with his grandmother and his brother. Hills that surrounded the Gangwondo Yanggu colouring their background and Baek Hyun remembered distinctively how cold it was that morning when his brother forced everyone for a photo to try out his new camera. His father had grunted and refused to indulge his eldest son’s whim, but his mother was all too eager to comply, pulling him and his unsuspecting grandmother along.

 

He remembered a lot of things actually, like the smell of his grandmother’s braised sweet potato and his mother’s fried rice, but now at that moment, the memory of Se Hun’s remark from the afternoon played glaringly at the fore of his mind, and he couldn’t help the frown that immediately cut across his face.

 

The man said that his actions were misleading?

 

But to who?

 

“Do you find me desirable?”

 

His question surprised even himself and his eyes became dazed as he focused on nothing.

 

Jong In didn’t answer immediately and the quiet sound of muffled music from the younger man’s earphone filled the air. For a moment there, he really thought that Jong In didn’t actually hear his question, so he dared himself to turn his head towards the other man. Jong In had stopped writing and was staring at him all the while.

 

He can sense the blooming question in the man’s silence, but he didn’t want to turn away either from the confused eyes.

 

It took a while, but Jong In answered him.

 

“Yes.”

 

The answer was unexpected, but he can’t say that he was surprised either.

 

“Why?” He asked.

 

“Because you’re nice.” Jong In answered.

 

“Am I misleading you in any way?” He asked again.

 

“No.” Jong In had answered back.

 

So he nodded, turning back to his notes, but still refused to pick his pen up again.

 

Baek Hyun had sat with both of his legs crossed and tucked under his weight. His shorts were loose in black and his hoody was oversized in white. The a/c was on full blast, but Jong In only had his long track pants and topless. It was ludicrous to some extent, because it was cold despite the socks he had put on. The younger man had claimed once that his head can absorb things faster when it's cold. Baek Hyun decided to never question Jong In’s ways of doing things.

 

It was curiosity really that made him ask it, and he turned towards the man when the question slipped past his lips.

 

“Am I desirable enough for you to want have sex with me?”

 

Jong In, who had continued with his writing, swivelled his head back towards the elder with a furrowed eyebrows before a confused and suspicious frown stretched out across his face. But he nodded hesitantly after that before answering.

 

“Very much, **yes**.” He said, and Baek Hyun took note of the honesty he can hear from the man’s voice.

 

“So why aren’t you making any move?”

 

“I don’t want to complicate things.”

 

“Complicate things?”

 

“I’d rather have you sticking around with me for the long run, hyung, not just a mindless hook up.”

 

The answer made his chest warm up and he couldn’t help the smile that he was sporting.

 

“Is that so?”

 

“Do you want to have sex with me?” Jong In asked back, and despite how the question will usually make him shrivel with disgust, now, he only felt numb.

 

“Not really.” He answered earnestly, smiling lips now slowly falling.

 

Jong In nodded again before he said it.

 

“But you want to have sex with Chan Yeol.”

 

It wasn’t a question. It wasn’t even an accusation and Baek Hyun’s fingers instinctively curled into a fist atop his note. His palm grew sweaty and cold. His neck felt tingly all over, and his face felt warm. His heartbeat probably skipped about a thousand beats, his torso clenching in and his jaw tightened defensively. But the worst part of everything was probably how easy it was for images of his best friend to flash across his mind. Memories of his laughter, his smile, his deep voice and the wet dreams that had been plaguing most of his nights these days.

 

Denial was quick to reach the tip of his tongue, but Jong In was looking at him knowingly. It was as if the younger was expecting for him to sprout lies to cover up his guilt.

 

Since when did this attraction have become guilt?

 

He turned away, looked down to the messy handwritings scribbled next to the printed notes. The PowerPoint slides were filled with cluster of neon highlighters of different colours, stroke of shades lining sentences that might or might not be relevant.

 

He gathered his pen back into his hold when he finally admitted it to Jong In.

 

“Yes.” He said, “I want to have sex with Chan Yeol, yes, but I probably might want to have so much more than just that.”

 

Baek Hyun didn’t know why, but it became easier to breath after that.

 

He thought that the admission wasn’t really for the benefit of his roommate. The confession was really an admission to himself because _fuck it_. Two months after the Qunari escapade, Baek Hyun just decided to stop fighting the growing infatuation he was harbouring for his best friend and accepted the fact that he might be fucked head over heels for Park Chan Yeol.

 

Because see, the image of waking up next to the beautiful man, morning light streaming in from the parted rocket-printed curtain of Chan Yeol’s room or just holding hands with him on the couch of his living room didn’t seem so bad at all.

 

===

 

Suffice to say, Advanced Accounting System was not really that bad.

 

There was still one week left before their last paper next Friday, Advanced Taxation, and finally after that, summer break. It sucked how most people can enjoy their bouts of freedom in a week time unlike the three of them. But because they just knew that they were going to flunk their Accounting Theory, they had registered for the summer course to sit back for this particular paper.

 

There was a four weeks period into the summer course where students can decide if they want to proceed with the course or to drop it. Seeing that their result will come out exactly three weeks after the last paper, they actually have the choice to drop the course should they actually pass their paper, so really, Baek Hyun thought it was a win-win situation for any other person.

 

The three of them decided to have their lunch at Subway because all of them just wanted to get the day over and done with so they can sleep till tomorrow, figuratively _and_ literally. Jong Dae at least had the audacity to ask where he should drop them off at, and despite how Baek Hyun had specifically told the man to _kindly_ drop him off at his flat, Jong Dae decided to just ignore him and, in the end, drop both Chan Yeol and Baek Hyun at the tall man’s place. He justified his reason being that Chan Yeol’s place was the nearest to his apartment complex compared to Baek Hyun’s supposedly criminal’s hut.

 

The first thing that Baek Hyun did when he got into Chan Yeol’s place was to immediately drop off his shoes right after the door was closed before shrugging his backpack and black hoody onto the couch and plopping himself face first into Chan Yeol’s neatly made queen sized bed. He couldn’t come up with any plausible way to conclude how his best friend even had the time at all to tidy up his bed every morning. The man wasn’t even a morning person.

 

The sheet was cold against his skin, and he turned his head sideways towards the cupboard next to the bed and saw his best friend hanging up his varsity jacket, leaving him in loose sleeveless white graphic muscle tee and washed light blue skinny jeans. Chan Yeol’s arms were toned, biceps hard with pronounced muscle and the sleeve opening of the tee was a little too low, burning his face up when he can basically see the outline of the man’s ribs. The mattress dipped down when Chan Yeol sat at the edge of the bed, raising a foot, crossing it over one knee to take off his sock and he switched the position of his foot with the other one to take off the other sock. He then rolled the socks together neatly into a ball before standing up and walking away to the living area opposite of the bed.

 

Baek Hyun watched as Chan Yeol dropped the item onto the coffee table between his couch and TV before the tall man returned and jumped into the bed with a deep content sigh.

 

It was pathetic how he can feel warmth creeping down from his face to his neck when he realised how close they were getting with each of his best friend’s shifting. Chan Yeol too had laid on his stomach with his face turned sideways, eyes closed. There was basically little to no space between their faces now to the point where Baek Hyun thought he can feel Chan Yeol’s warm breathing fanning over his face at each of the man’s exhalation.

 

 _Shit_ , he wondered how long will it take for his heart to finally burst at this rate, going crazy under his chest. The damn organ just refused to calm down, messing with his stomach and his head. He was getting dizzy with adrenaline and high.

 

And then Chan Yeol made his move.

 

Baek Hyun thought he was close to throwing up his heart.

 

Chan Yeol’s fingers were skittish as they trailed over Baek Hyun’s waist, hitching the smaller man’s breath and cramping his stomach up at his sharp inhalation, before Chan Yeol’s palm finally rested at the base of his spine. He thought he can feel warmth seeping through his green tee. Baek Hyun’s fingers were basically twisting the sheet into his fist, and his eyes widened fractionally.

 

 _Shit_.

 

Shit, shit, **shit**!

 

“You think we did well?”

 

He almost didn’t hear the soft question in his fit of hysterical internal monologue, but Chan Yeol was so up close, he can actually study the length of the man’s eyelashes. It was impossible for him to miss the movement of his lips, which got his eyes attentively paying attention to.

 

“S-sorry?” He stuttered, and the soft smile that appeared lazily across the man’s face made his face burned even more.

 

“Our paper just now. Think we did well?”

 

Baek Hyun thought anyone within a one-kilometre radius can probably hear him swallowing. The thought of cursing himself colourfully for being damn obvious about it materialised, in which he did prosecute it, in his head though, but still. His fingers were cold, his face felt tingly and on top of it all, he felt as if he was floating. Everything was so surreal.

 

Chan Yeol was so close.

 

Why was Chan Yeol so close anyway?

 

“We did okay.” He answered after a while when he was much calmer.

 

Chan Yeol opened his eyes at his answer and Baek Hyun knew he wasn’t that far at all from melting. Now that he basically had admitted his attraction for his best friend, somehow, his brain became more than efficient to mess with his head and body.

 

Chan Yeol moved closer after that and he was all but whimper when the man grabbed his shoulders with two of his huge palm and overturn him. The tall man hovered above him, and _yes_ , Baek Hyun didn’t even bother covering up the fact that his eyes were the size of the saucer at the man’s unexpected move. Panic was quickly filling him up. His feet were forcefully parted open from his best friend’s long limbs. His fingers were fisting at Chan Yeol’s loose tee above his torso and Chan Yeol’s long legs were a nice fit between his opened thighs.

 

Shit.

 

Shit, fuck, _shit_!

 

Chan Yeol had a sort of a dazed look as he studied the smaller man’s face. Baek Hyun’s throat was quickly drying up at the heavy eyelids. Chan Yeol had sucked the bottom of his own lips between his teeth in contemplation and Baek Hyun honestly didn’t know what to make of it, especially so at the way the man was eyeing his lips rather intensely.

 

The stupid part of his brain was asking what the fuck was going on, the bigger part of it was filled with unplaced hope and expectance, but a small part of himself actually knew what the fuck was to be expected.

 

“Hey,” Chan Yeol’s voice was breathless, the smell of strawberry mint was strong and Baek Hyun didn’t know why it did shit to libido. He was glad that his dick didn’t think ahead of him and get embarrassingly hard, but he knew that it will be soon, they were so close.

 

Best friends don’t do this, he thought.

 

Best friends don’t look at each other like this.

 

_He should’ve fucking known._

 

Chan Yeol shuffled on top of him, bending his arms so that he was resting his weight into his elbows that stabbed next to either side of Baek Hyun’s head. The movement did nothing but reducing the distance between their faces. He thought he can feel fingers brushing his hair and he was fucked, because it was getting harder to breath.

 

The tall man didn’t say anything much, eyes basically eating him up and Baek Hyun swallowed audibly after a while.

 

“Chan Yeol –”

 

“Hey Baek,” The man called out again.

 

“W-what?”

 

“Do you think it’s okay if I –”

 

Chan Yeol’s question was cut off when Baek Hyun’s phone rang rather loudly from his pocket. It was a rude awakening, to be honest, and he looked down to his pocket at the so much familiar personalised ringtone. It was his dad. He muttered his apologies under his breath, and jammed his hand into the pocket of his skinny jeans, cursing at the tightness of the garment, and he noted, much to his dismay, the loss of the other man’s warmth when Chan Yeol moved over and lain next to him instead with a muffled groan.

 

He got up from the bed before hastily answering his phone. He thought he saw Chan Yeol sighing with a bite of his lips as he flung an arm over his eyes.

 

His father was coming down from Bucheon to see him with a surprise.

 

Baek Hyun was to drop him off at the airport after that.

 


	7. Six

Feels just like the first time when you kiss me, my lover

Angels in the sky will descend on our love

And it's hard to deny what is happening

 

[[Feels like the first time](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_teiQfEFD8M)]

 

===

 

When he came down from his flat with Chan Yeol to greet his father, the elder man had a shit eating square grin that was a striking mirror image of his. Everyone had told him so at one point or another, really, Baek Hyun wasn’t even ashamed of it. So naturally, Baek Hyun could only grin back in return, because smiling was infectious, and Baek Hyun rather liked doing it.

 

The car ride was loud, purely because Chan Yeol was a good conversationalist and his father liked polite and courteous young men. Baek Hyun was quiet as he listened to the two men’s bout of conversation from behind his steering wheel, his father had a hearty laugh next to him and Chan Yeol laughed just as hard too from his back.

 

Park Chan Yeol was what people would refer to as a kind hearted and a sweet man. He was a gentleman in every perfect sense despite his clumsy coordination and movement. He liked helping old people crossing the road, giving his seat away on the bus for the elders and women despite how tired he was, and he liked spoiling Baek Hyun rotten with things and foods whenever they hung out. 

 

When he brought Chan Yeol over to his home back in Bucheon last summer for a week, his mother had said that Chan Yeol’s smiling face was sweet and his height complimented his deep voice so very well.

 

Yes.

 

He knew it.

 

He knew it so fucking well.

 

Park fucking Chan Yeol was probably your typical poster child.

 

It was only fair that his father would easily accept him and have conversation flowed between the two of them so very naturally.

 

There were many things that Baek Hyun had expected to happen when his father called him about a meeting he had to attend.

 

_“I need you to send me to the airport. I’ll only be gone for two nights, and I’ll give you a call before I fly back.”_

 

There was an emergency conference he had to attend in Manila. His father was recently promoted to Senior Manager of the Internal Audit’s department at the bank he was attached to, and there was an on-going talk about some money-laundering act they needed to abide in order to avoid any troubles in the future. He understood little of it, and his father had smiled and said that in due time, he will luckily to be as fucked, breathing on facts of numbers and money.

 

_“You’re an accounting major. You think you can avoid this path? Tough luck, son.”_

 

The airport was bustling with crowd, and because Baek Hyun was a perfect gentleman of a son, he carried his father’s rather light duffle bag while the elder man only had his laptop bag strapped over his small-framed shoulders. Same genetic, Baek Hyun was really a spitting image of him. His only flaw was probably that he was eight centimetres shorter, inheriting some of his mother’s gene while Byun Baek Beom stood at a flourishing 182 cm the last time he met his brother.

 

Lucky bastard, he supposed.

 

“How’s your preparation for the next paper? Your mother told me that you’re registering for the summer’s course?” His father asked over the steaming Americano at the café near the departure’s gate. He looked casual in grey sweater and tan chinos. While Baek Hyun had don a black and white houndstooth patterned jumper with some yellow details and black skinny jeans, Chan Yeol had his electric blue and white varsity jacket over white tee and black skinny jeans, _the usual_.

 

“The Accounting Theory this time was hard. I don’t think I’ll fail, but I like playing safe, you know?” The lie rolled easily from his tongue and Chan Yeol’s ears grew red from the profound truth he desperately tried to cover by playing casual and his father had an amused glint twinkling in his eyes.

 

“It was hard the last time you took them too, but here you are now, son, registering for that summer course.”

 

Chan Yeol snorted at his father’s rather huge smirk and Baek Hyun groaned at that fact.

 

===

 

Baek Hyun missed his car. His father lied about returning it back to him, he lied about whatever surprise there was that he promised, but Byun Baek Hyun was a practical man. He wasn’t disappointed, per say, but he wasn’t too happy about it either. His car was still resting in the garage back at his parents’ house, and last Baek Hyun heard of it, Baek Beom had amusedly told him how his mother enjoyed driving it for her aerobic class every morning before going to the market for her usual groceries. It made him sad, but driving his father’s new C-class was a new feeling altogether. No _that_   must be the surprise his father actually promised, surely.

 

His family wasn’t rich per say, they lived in a double storey house back in Bucheon and his father was only recently promoted where then life, thankfully, had gotten better for them. It got to the point where the man didn’t even nag at Baek Hyun for possibly having to repeat a paper again. He supposed it was a good thing, because Baek Hyun knew he **will** repeat that paper and now that his father seemed as if he wasn’t even remotely pissed at his youngest for screwing up yet again, Baek Hyun can actually pushed aside his guilt for a moment and focus on his next paper.

 

_Yeah, right._

 

They drove back with Chan Yeol’s favourite song blared loudly from the speaker. Vanessa Carlton’s A Thousand Miles covered by MNEK, and while Baek Hyun didn’t particularly hate that song, Chan Yeol’s throaty uneven voice singing along to the lyrics shouldn’t make the song that hot as well.

 

Back to square one, he supposed.

 

His stupid glaring attraction for his best friend, the usual stuff.

 

It was really unfair, to be honest, because while he was being this hot and bothered, Chan Yeol was looking so damn nonchalant and that shit only made him ten times more handsome.

 

“What will you do if I switch the radio off now?” He said, interrupting the tall man’s singing and Chan Yeol had smiled his way, lips pouting over the lyrics.

 

“Doesn’t matter, I memorise the lyric anyway. I don’t need the music to sing, man, I’m a true musician.” He said after a while and Baek Hyun shook his head disappointedly, smiling lazily as he raised his fist, bumping them against Chan Yeol’s waiting one.

 

“Kiss my ass, man.”

 

“Noted with much appreciation.”

 

The traffic wasn’t as congested for it was only 3.30pm. Baek Hyun regretted giving the green card for Chan Yeol to connect his phone with the car’s radio via Bluetooth, because the man’s song was plain loud, EDM blasting away through the speakers with the tall man bobbing his head and moving his body in a lazy motion to the beat.

 

_Me tequila-quila._

 

_Poison in the darkness._

 

_Got me wicked wicked._

 

_Feeling a hotflush._

 

It was hot as hell.

 

Chan Yeol was fucking hot as hell.

 

If he were to die soon, his complain will probably be about how unfair Chan Yeol’s existence really was. His eyes, his smiles, his complexion, his style, his voice – fucking just about anything that had to do with him made Baek Hyun’s blood shrivelled with complicated feelings, conflicting emotions. It can’t be fair how fucked he was on so many levels, because everything that he felt about Chan Yeol was strong these days, and he hated and loved the pain it inflicted upon him.

 

Fucking masochist man, that was the saddest truth.

 

“You’re losing weight, Baek Hyun-ah?”

 

Chan Yeol’s voice was soft amongst the silence of the car, between the break of two songs. Baek Hyun raised an eyebrow, one palm gripping the steering wheel while the other rested upon the gearstick. 

 

“Why? Do I suddenly look better now, or what?” He grinned jokingly, but that was before warm fingers raced along his forearm, raising all the hair on his skin.

 

Chan Yeol’s fingers were long around his wrist when the man pulled his hand away from the gearstick with careless strength. He then used his other free hand to finger the sleeve of Baek Hyun’s jumper until they crumpled to his elbow, and _damn_ , the feeling of Chan Yeol’s calloused fingertips against his skin shouldn’t feel this good. The tall man’s gaze was soft, gentle even as they ran over his thin wrist. His lips then lined into a small smile that had Baek Hyun’s heartbeat did many weird painful things to his chest.

 

Chan Yeol used the pad of his thumb to make a swirly motion atop Baek Hyun’s lifeline under his wrist, and he swore that the tingle it sent down his spine was not affecting any of his concentration and sanity. At. All. .

 

“C-Chan Yeol?” He couldn’t help, but stutter. It was frustrating how the other man’s focus was narrowed down to his skin.

 

“See this? Your wrist? They’re thin.” Chan Yeol’s voice was a whisper, a gentle hum, actually, and he wasn’t smiling anymore, dazed and so out of this world. “Thinner than usual, really.” Baek Hyun sucked in a harsh air, lips quickly drying up and it was hard to focus on the empty road, because Chan Yeol had lifted his arm until they hovered in front of his face, wrist only an inch away from the tall man’s lips, he can basically feel his best friend’s breathe fanning over his skin.

 

Not to mention the touches.

 

Rough fingertips skittered all around his fingers as if the man was trying to decipher his flaws and tones.

 

“I’m p-pretty sure it has always been like that.” Baek Hyun almost winced at his response, because even to his ears, they sounded weak, desperate, and Chan Yeol’s eyes sharpened up at that.

 

Baek Hyun turned away when he thought he saw a whisper of a smile started to stretch from Chan Yeol’s lips and he pulled his arm away, swallowing a huge lump when he swore he thought that he felt echo of lips brushed against his fingers.

 

He was fucked.

 

Honestly.

 

He was so _fucking_ fucked.

 

===

 

It was 5.52 p.m. on Thursday when Baek Hyun walked out of the exam hall feeling like a Greek God. Liberated, **free** –he reckoned that he might actually _really_ like this feeling no matter how rare the chance for it to present was. Because _this_ –this feeling, he knew this was what it felt like from being able to answer a particular hard paper after a week filled with adrenaline, nicotine, caffeine and lack of sleep, trying to memorise cases and tax code.

 

Yes.

 

Baek Hyun will not repeat this again. Not because he was confident with his answer, but simply because he didn’t want to go through that pain again.

 

Baek Hyun was revelling in his freedom sitting by the step of the staircase next to the exam hall that will lead to the parking lot. He remembered how Chan Yeol had seated there once about a week ago after they got out from a jack-fucked paper and he remembered well how beautiful he thought the man was at that time, hell, even now still.

 

The wind was soft against his face, a trace of warmth from the very near summer heat brushed along his skin and he let out a content sigh. His grandmother always told him that he was a summer child. He almost smiled at the memory, because Baek Hyun couldn’t withstand the cold very well, he was basically always the most active and only useful in summer. He remembered how everyone from his school back at Bucheon always cursed the weather when they went swimming at the public swimming pool most of every other week while Baek Hyun was basically blossoming in the heat of the sun. 

 

“How was the paper?”

 

He looked up when deep voice broke whatever daze he was in and he squinted his eyes from the sudden lack of sun to the shadow of another figure looming over him.

 

Chan Yeol was standing behind him, body bent down and he was looking directly at Baek Hyun’s face when the smaller male tilted his head up.

 

The sun was basically covered from Chan Yeol’s grinning face, he wondered why his whole body felt hotter than before.

 

“Not as hard as Accounting Theory.” He grinned back.

 

“Can anything be harder?”

 

_Yeah, like my dick most mornings when I dreamt of you, fucking asshole._

 

“I can say more things as a comparison, but given the current location we’re at, I think it will be highly inappropriate.”

 

The man’s boisterous laugh made him grin and he swore he heard Chan Yeol muttering – _“I can vouch for that.”_ under his breath, but he put the thought aside when the man shifted. His eyes followed his tall best friend’s movement when the man moved to sit next to him. Side by side like this, he can feel the trace of full blast a/cond’s effect from Chan Yeol’s body and it made his skin prickled with goose bumps at the onslaught of temperature shift.

 

“Final’s officially over.” Chan Yeol said after a while, sighing contently on his spot with both arms bent over his knees and body slouched forward.

 

“Summer’s starting.” He nodded.

 

“It’s the beginning of my doom –I’ll have to wear shorts!”

 

“I can finally see you in something other than those stupid jackets you own.”

 

“Varsity jacket _is_ a trend, you fashion-less dick.”

 

He smirked at the loud groan.

 

Chan Yeol detested shorts, hence, inevitably making him hate hot weather. He was the total opposite of Baek Hyun in that sense, it was strange when he tried seeing things from that point of view because they were so similar with each other, actions always synchronised, choices made mostly leading them the same way.

 

“Have you packed your stuff? Yoora’s coming this Saturday to pick you up for her wedding stuff, right?” Cake, wine tasting and more food-related stuff Chan Yeol had relayed to him last week. He mentioned how unfortunate it was that he was the only other sibling his sister had, because his father had outrightly rejected her whines for him to come along.

 

“It’s gonna suck for sure.” The man told him with a whine, mindlessly scratching the back of his head

 

“Just imagine all the food you’re going to taste. That’s heaven, Chan Yeol, be grateful.”

 

The sun wasn’t as blaring now when he tilted his head ahead, Baek Hyun can feel his body relaxing. They did it again, one semester done, finals were done, and he will be free for a while before summer class will start.

 

“You think Jong Dae will ditch us after this?” Baek Hyun asked, because he remembered seeing the other man’s sickeningly sweet text with his girlfriend by accident when they had their lunch, and there was a glaring indication that a date night might involve in Jong Dae’s itinerary, hence, enabling the option that their friend might ditch them again as always.

 

They said that the depth of friendship between men was immeasurable, but Baek Hyun firmly believed that it was a pile of crap.

 

“What do you mean after this? He’s already gone, took his car ten minutes before I came here.”

 

Fucking bastard.

 

Traitor.

 

It took them only fifteen minutes to reach the bus stop outside of their campus. Baek Hyun was thankful that the sun was setting soon, because the wind was doing wonderful things to his skin and Chan Yeol was walking closely to his side. It was a strange feeling, he thought, because while Baek Hyun gets irritated easily these days at any skin contact, he found that Chan Yeol’s body heat was more than just comforting. It made his heart beat just a tad faster, made his steps light and somehow, it was easier to smile at things.

 

It was weird.

 

The caw of the crows filled the air, Chan Yeol was humming to himself and Baek Hyun smiled when he thought he recognised the tune.

 

“It’s almost August, why are you singing Jingle Bells?”

 

“It’s a gay song, and I’m feeling rather gay.” Chan Yeol shrugged. And although the statement was a peculiar one, he kept the thought to himself with a shake of his head because Chan Yeol had always been a strange asshole and he smiled amusedly as they got onto the bus.

 

===

 

Deep down somewhere in him, Baek Hyun had always comfortably settled himself with the idea that Park Chan Yeol was a good looking man. He thought of this so many times before, but now, the idea of it just stuck to his mind like a leech.

 

It wasn’t all about his physical attribution, per say, despite how that glaring fact contributed greatly to the whole hot stuff cause. Baek Hyun honestly thought Chan Yeol was good looking because he was accompanied with many other good things. He was charming, his voice was deep, warm and most of his smiles were genuine. Chan Yeol gets happy easily most of the times, he didn’t know how it was possible, but his best friend really can. It was impressive, really, he didn’t need a reason to smile at a stranger, let alone someone he already knew.

 

It was already dark when Chan Yeol jumped out of the bus.

 

The movement wasn’t at all graceful, but Baek Hyun had long come to term with that fact, and it wasn't weird at all to see Chan Yeol tip toed along the line of the curb by the road with arms spread opened before he settled down on the steel bench of the bus stop with a lazy grin. His eyes were large as they settled on him and Baek Hyun leaned against the railing opposite of the bench with a small smile in return.

 

“This is not your stop,” Baek Hyun stated with an arched eyebrow, whooshing sound of door setting shut before the bus went away. “Bugger off so that I can have a peaceful night.”

 

Chan Yeol’s laugh sounded wonderful to his ear. They were unrestrained, fulfilling and genuine.

 

“All by yourself?” Chan Yeol grinned wider, bending a knee onto the bench against his chest while looking all nonchalant. Shoulders slack backwards, eyes and smile lazy with his arms parted on his side to support his weight. “What, shouldn’t you be wanting for my company? Shame, I’ve been told by many that I made good company.”

 

Baek Hyun couldn’t help the loud laugh he barked out, his face burning up and Chan Yeol only grinned wide in return before huffing out a soft laugh, chest shaking, rocked by his own quiet amusement.

 

“Are you drunk?”

 

“Not particularly, although, a trip to the bar sounds nice.”

 

They didn’t go to the bar.

 

Chan Yeol instead had walked together with him until they reached Baek Hyun’s rundown flat. His father always said that it was a place that brews troublesome people and crooks. Baek Hyun told him it was either this, or more money for a much newer place. His father had laughed and told him they shared the same tasteless humour and here he was, two years later, still in the same room with Kim Jong In.

 

They stood in front of the flight of staircase by the entrance of the flat. His best friend didn’t climb up the stairs with him when the short man walked to the staircase and Baek Hyun looked at him confusingly. The sky was dark now, no moon, black, sprinkled with stars here and there, but not much. Light pollution. His grandmother always sighed at that, babbling on about how the sky used to be so much different when she was a child, with abundant of stars littering about.

 

The wind was gentle against his skin, shaking his hair like ruffling leafs.

 

Chan Yeol looked delightful with his silver hair. He still ridiculously had his electric blue varsity jacket on atop his black tee and black skinny jeans. A contrast to Baek Hyun’s more modest dressing of simple denim printed cotton shirt atop his white tee and black skinny jeans.

 

“Coming up?” Baek Hyun asked with an arched eyebrow, rolling his sleeves to his elbow, because the exam hall was cold just now, he had unrolled the sleeves all the way until they covered his wrist. He couldn’t help the confusion that filled him at his best friend’s light shake of head.

 

“Nah, wanna catch up with my sleep.”

 

“So what’s the point of walking with me all the way here?”

 

“Nothing,” Chan Yeol shrugged with his bottom lip jutted out. It was fucking adorable, it was doing shit to his head. Baek Hyun was lucky that he had somewhat little dignity left in himself for not melting down, because what his best friend said next almost gave him the final K.O blow – “I'd like your company a little longer, s’all.”

 

Baek Hyun can probably come up with a smarter response to Chan Yeol’s strange statement, say something much gayer and sappier because that was what he always did, but as it was, he was only just a dick, stupid at the tall man’s fiery eyes and the only thing he can manage was a meek nervous laugh as Chan Yeol took a step closer to him.

 

The man didn’t do anything, he looked down to the tassel strap of Baek Hyun’s backpack, fingers flipping the damn thing. There was only a mere few inches of space between them and Chan Yeol’s cologne smelled good. The black tee he wore smelled fresh of fabric softener.

 

“See you tomorrow?” Chan Yeol asked, his voice dipped low, almost quiet as if the words were solely meant for him.

 

“Yeah, lunch? And the bar with the guys at night, yeah?” He was strangely breathless, he wondered if Chan Yeol noticed it at all. 

 

The man didn’t say anything, only a small smile gracing his feature and Baek Hyun felt his face warming up at the sight, because shit, Chan Yeol was just so beautiful, drop dead fucking gorgeous truthfully, and he wondered if he even had the chance at all.

 

Because he noticed it.

 

Baek Hyun wasn’t that slow, contrary to popular belief, because this, whatever this was between them, it must be something more. It can’t just be blind friendship, because he didn’t think mere friends would do the things Chan Yeol did. Scratch the occasional lingering touches, because the fiery gaze, the strange moves, the almost too intimate steps the two have taken the past weeks –they must count as something.

 

Baek Hyun’s hand somehow knew what to do, moving automatically over Chan Yeol’s thighs until they rested at the man’s pocket, fingers crooked in as the man lean down, both of his palms gripping the shorter man’s shoulders and Baek Hyun’s eyelids were slowly dropping closed as warm air breathed against his cheeks and – _oh_.

 

There were neither fireworks nor music sang in the background when Chan Yeol’s surprisingly soft lips pressed against his.

 

Although he swore he could feel the bangs of Chan Yeol’s heart drumming underneath his chest, because they were pressed close now, chest to chest, when Chan Yeol’s draped his arms closed around his waist. Baek Hyun bit the bottom thick lip lightly before sucking on them, a remedy, he amusingly thought, and Chan Yeol kissed him back just as vigorously.

 

The world didn’t shake, there was no epiphany of shit starting to make sense or puzzle clicking into places, but he won’t deny that there was sparks.He won’t deny how it had felt like this was his first kiss all over again. Just look at him –sweaty palms, catastrophe of uncontrolled beating heart and emotions all over the place like some gory butchering of organ, his fucking heart, probably.

 

Where was logic?

 

Where was the gravity?

 

Where was the air? 

 

Did everything felt this light before?

 

He turned his head sideways when it became too much, swallowing hard when Chan Yeol’s wet lips grazed his jawline. He admitted that the kiss was short, so how the hell did it manage to render him this breathless? He bit down a moan when Chan Yeol laid a chaste kiss at the point between his jawline and his ears and he opened his eyes, sight going misty.

 

His fingers still crooked in the tall man’s jeans’ pocket, coarse fabric cushioning against his cold digits.

 

“Feels like the first time, doesn’t it?”

 

He turned his head to face the man and he regretted his action immediately.

 

Because Chan Yeol’s eyes were barely opened, hazy at best and he was drinking up Baek Hyun’s profile. It fucked just about everything –his heartbeat, his body temperature, his head. It felt like the ground just ceased to exist, it made him oddly giddy. It couldn’t be healthy, _no_ , not like this. There was a pinch of red sprinkling the tall man’s cheeks prettily, but Chan Yeol was sporting a rather lazy grin.

 

“I don’t know about you buddy, but I swear this is the first one between us.” He laughed, breathing a little too easily despite how Chan Yeol’s arms were still around his waist.

 

Chan Yeol made his move again, startling him with the sudden movement, but Baek Hyun was quick to react, was quick to melt. His lips were warm as the tall man laid a chaste kiss against his lips, smooching sound that made his face burn even more, before Chan Yeol pulled away, arms and everything with a lazy grin still plastered on his unfairly handsome face.

 

They stood apart again now, Baek Hyun didn’t know that his knees were that weak, almost stumbling if not for Chan Yeol’s weight grounding him, before he straightened up with a red face.

 

He can hear the sound of children’s laughter filling the air, he knew, from the Lee family that lived a floor below his own flat, he can hear the grumbling sound of washing machine from someone else’s balcony, he can hear many things. Sounds that make a place home, he knew them, and wondered why he can’t hear those moments before, when now, they were profoundly loud.

 

“See you tomorrow?” Chan Yeol’s voice was soft.

 

“Yeah, ‘morrow.” Was his breathless response, before they turned away after that.

 

Later that night, Jong In gave him a weird look when Baek Hyun lain on his stomach, burying his face into the pillow, grinning wide like a mad man.

 

Shit.

 

They kissed.

 

Park Chan Yeol kissed him.

 

They fucking kissed.

 

Just _woah_.

 

===

 

 

p/s: [This ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=y5JyDGg2HKo)and [this ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ICdA-X0d4_o)are the songs that were played during the car ride, if you guys are interested.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> okay, so like, finally? They kissed! Yes. Okay. I was heavily inspired by Corinne Bailey Rae's Feels Like The First Time when I wrote this. The mood of the song was the perfect set up for this chapter, especially during the kissing scene.


	8. Seven

Unsurprisingly, the first person he saw the next morning was not Park Chan Yeol.

 

It was Oh Se Hun.

 

“Aren’t you supposed to prepare for your morning paper or something?” He rasped out from under the duvet. His voice was hoarse from just waking up, sight blurry, and Se Hun’s obnoxious face was hard to ignore especially when the man was basically smashed flat on top of him, chest to chest, torso to torso. Clingy like a fucked up monkey, really.

 

It was uncomfortable to say the least, because massive height equalled to heavy weight as well, and Se Hun was heavy on top of him. Not to mention the discomfort of the duvet pressed so closely to his naked chest and torso.

 

The only good thing about the whole ordeal was probably that he wasn’t sporting a hard on like most of other mornings.

 

“I’m hungry.” Was the plain response and Baek Hyun shook his head, shifting in his spot until the pillow felt right again and he closed his eyes, anticipating the sleep to win him over again, because he knew it must be very early, the room was still somewhat dark, and Se Hun was not supposed to be here. “Hyung!” The whine came soon after and Baek Hyun can feel how his body had twitch in instinct to inflict pain upon the younger man, which was a shame, really, because he was too sleepy to actually give a shit, so he ended with huffing out a groan instead.

 

He tried ignoring Se Hun, he should know by experience that it was a fool’s wish, but he tried, because Baek Hyun was ever the optimist, and twenty minutes later saw him walking down the steps of his flat with a grumpy face and messy hair.

 

“You know Se Hun-nie, the point of having your finals done is for you to sleep in, and by God, I need all the sleep in the world, you _dick_.” He grumbled when Se Hun passed him his car key before the younger man then climbed into the white compact car. On the passenger side. “We are not doing this –asshole, I am not chaperoning you around.” He moaned.

 

“Get in hyung, I’m hungry. Let’s grab a bite before my paper.”

 

“Se Hun-nie, it’s 6.45am!”

 

“Yeah, and my exam starts at 9, so hurry up.”

 

“You can’t be doing this to me, this shit is unethical!”

 

“And you standing there like a praying nun is not helping at all, really.”

 

“Praying nuns would be on their knees now, which I am very close to doing for this shit you pulling at the moment.”

 

But for all the hissy huffs that he did, Baek Hyun eventually got behind the steering wheel with a frown and heavy eyes and groaning distressfully at Oh Se Hun’s gleeful laugh before he shifted the gear from P to D.

 

They ended up at the McDonald’s some twenty minutes away from Baek Hyun’s flat. It was surprising to see how the crowd had built up despite being this early in the morning. Baek Hyun walked among the throngs of working people, tired looking men and women in suits and white shirts shuffling about with folded newspaper as they hurriedly gulped down the last drop of the cheap coffee.

 

Baek Hyun found a table by the window on the upper deck of the restaurant and slouched onto the chair with a huge sigh. He was so sleepy, he wondered if it was possible for him to fall asleep right away, sounds of murmured conversation and soft music slowly lulling him away.

 

Se Hun found him ten minutes later with a tray full of sausage McMuffins, churos, caramel dipping sauce, hash browns and two cokes.

 

The sleepiness somehow just melted away, and Baek Hyun bitterly thought that Se Hun knew his game, shit, he got the churos, he knew Baek Hyun loved that shit.

 

“This is not breakfast food.” He grumbled as he unwrap the sausage McMuffin with a yawn.

 

“There’re hash browns, what are you even talking about.” Se Hun grumbled in return, a foot lightly rubbed against the elder’s shin.

 

They ate in relative silence after that, both too engrossed with the food and thirty five minutes later, Se Hun returned back with a tray filled with more churos, dipping sauce, hash browns and vanilla sundae.

 

“Woah, someone’s hungry.”

 

“I told you I’m hungry.”

 

“I didn’t know that you are this hungry.”

 

“Then why the hell would I bug you in the morning?”

 

“Why the hell would you not bug me in the morning?”

 

“How dare you, this is only the third time I did this.

 

“Fine, I’ll rephrase my words then –since when do you have the conscience to not bug me at all?”

 

“Point taken, although, I don’t see any reason for you to be so hostile this early in the morning, hyung.”

 

“Really now, Se Hun-nie, really? You can’t see the point?”

 

They both knew that it was unnecessary for Se Hun to stuff a stick of churos into his mouth in his attempt to shut the shorter man up, but the younger of the two grinned anyway, and, well, Baek Hyun loved that shit, both the churos and Se Hun’s smile, so he shook his head and continued eating.

 

Se Hun drove them back after that.

 

It was 8.35am when the younger man dropped Baek Hyun off with a grin and a “See you later at lunch!”

 

===

 

It was embarrassing how Chan Yeol tried sneaking a glance or two every once in a while, because subtlety was never the tall man’s forte, the second-hand embarrassment was overwhelming. It got so out of control to the point that it had Se Hun eyeing the two of them strangely and Baek Hyun was fighting tooth and nail to bring down the heat from colouring his face.

 

Chan Yeol didn’t help anything but adding up the fuel to Se Hun’s confusion and curiosity, because he was looking bashful at all odd places when the shorter man returned his glances with a confused tilt and all that shit did nothing, but made Baek Hyun high and giddy and just plain happy.

 

The restaurant wasn’t as crowded, Min Seok had joined them this time and it was strange, because the elder almost always had his girlfriend tagging along, so to see him this time by himself made it easy for Baek Hyun to sprout shitty tasteless jokes.

 

“So your girlfriend decided that she’s had enough of your ugly face, huh?”

 

The response he received was immediate. Se Hun reeled back against his chair with a palm pressed to his chest and jaw dropped open as if he was personally offended by the comment while Jong Dae had a huge grin plastered across his face.

 

“For someone who barely got any action, dick untouched and all, you sure sound cheeky.”

 

Min Seok’s words cut like a knife especially when they were chorused along with Jong Dae’s chortling laughter.

 

“Hyung, that shit really got to my heart.”

 

The food arrived in no time and it was a nice change to see Chan Yeol almost spitting out a mouthful of grilled chicken when Baek Hyun’s foot lightly grazed over his. It was accidental was what he would say if were inquired, but he knew it was anything but that. While everyone was eyeing Chan Yeol with mild disgust, Baek Hyun only shook his head with a small smile as he shoved a spoonful of Tom Yam fried rice and allowed the tangy paste to warm up his tongue.

 

“Why did you do that?”

 

It was only fair that Se Hun’s acute question threw every ounce of control he somehow had managed off the boat.

 

“W-what?”

 

“Why are you playing footsy with him?”

 

“What are you talking about?”

 

“You know what I’m talking about.”

 

“Wow, you think I can read mind now? I didn’t know you think that highly of me. Should I pop you a mutant x-men baby now?”

 

While Min Seok had a huge grin at Se Hun’s sharp gaze, Jong Dae was hooting from his spot and Chan Yeol’s ears were red. Se Hun looked conflicted, and the childish part of Baek Hyun felt victorious at the lack of response, because while he loved Se Hun’s whines and annoying petty arguments, beating the man up in an argument felt much greater.

 

The answer he received however made him groaned out frustratingly.

 

“You’re adopted.”

 

“Why do you keep saying that –”

 

“Because it’s true,”

 

“No, it’s not.”

 

“Your mom told me so, and I feel like you should know, why do you think you’re so short?”

 

“I’m not short, my height is an average Asian man’s height, look at Min Seok if you wanna talk about height so much.”

 

“Yo, don’t get me involved in your weird lover’s quarrel man, you gay fucker.”

 

The rest of the meal pretty much went on like that.

 

Min Seok had offered to pay for the meal, and despite how everyone had stood up and voiced out their disagreement almost violently, none of them even bothered with taking out their wallet and the elder had smirked knowingly as he placed few sheets of cash on the offered tray atop the receipt, grinning out _“I got this.”_ He reasoned with them seeing that this was his last semester, it was only fair he treated them for a last meal. It made Baek Hyun’s chest clenched up at the thought, because he was so used to hanging out at the two brothers’ place, it suddenly felt lonelier somehow.

 

===

 

He met Do Kyung Soo for the first time that night.

 

He’d heard of the name before, Jong In had muttered them too many a time when he was drunk and he sometimes even brought the name up in their daily conversation.

 

Kyung Soo-yah.

 

Kyung Soo.

 

Do Kyung Soo.

 

He was Jong In’s best friend and Kim Jong In was all sorts of crazy over him.

 

Baek Hyun honestly expected Kyung Soo to be more than what the man he was looking at now. Jong In had portrayed him as if the man was a walking Eden itself, and the image he had drew up in his mind of this Do Kyung Soo person was impressive, a fucking magnanimity on two legs in fact, so it was only fair for him to be bitterly disappointed when the man was anything but that. There was nothing sweet and beautiful about the man’s constant state of glaring murderously at his surrounding with his large owl eyes.

 

He felt threatened and naked despite how the man’s eyes weren’t even on him. Do Kyung Soo was really a man of small built, his lips were thick and his hair was fluffy in black.

 

“Why are you eyeing him so intently?” Chan Yeol’s question was soft, whiney though, but his voice sounded nice nonetheless, and Baek Hyun turned towards the tall man with a grimace.

 

“That’s Do Kyung Soo.” He simply said and it made Chan Yeol looked even more confused.

 

“Who is he?” Chan Yeol asked as he settled next to the smaller man.

 

“He’s my roommate’s best friend.”

 

He wished that he can say more, he wished he can go into a lengthy explanation about how this Kyung Soo-yah was supposed to have a nice voice. He liked to hum whenever he was cooking, his hand writing was neat, he was smart, although he can be too stupidly literal in most of the things he said and did. He was honest, he was a very direct person and he curses colourfully too.

 

He was the man Kim Jong In was the most in love with.

 

But Baek Hyun didn’t say anything.

 

He didn’t think he had any right to rat on someone about the state of their love life. It was not going to be fair for any party.

 

It was ironic how Kim Joon Myun was a friend to both Kim Min Seok and Do Kyung Soo when the three of them had three vividly different personalities other than their sharp tongue.

 

The wind that night was gentle, the wooden bench they were perching on was warm. The swimming pool glistened with the last light of the setting sun and the smell of barbeque made him hungry.

 

He turned to face the quiet man on his right. Chan Yeol was silent as he watched Jong In and Se Hun waiting religiously behind Min Seok as the elder flipped the grilled meat. Joon Myun had invited mostly his friends over. Baek Hyun didn’t knew the man that well, but he joined Min Seok’s few basketball outings before and knew that Joon Myun was natural-born entrepreneur, but a shitty sportsman, but he did try his hardest which was even more pitiful.

 

Chan Yeol turned his head after a while, and the way his eyes rested softly on Baek Hyun made his heartbeat stutter. His lips were thick, Baek Hyun’s face was gradually warming up at the memory of how soft the supple fleshes were against his. The setting sun easily coloured Chan Yeol in gradients of orange. His hair was still bleached obnoxiously in silver despite how his hair had grown. Chan Yeol was a stubborn man, and he can be ridiculously resolute when he came to like something and it was just shitty how he happened to love his newest hair colour.

 

“I wanted it, you know.”

 

Chan Yeol’s voice somehow shook him from his daze.

 

He blinked in surprise at the statement, studying the cheekbones of the other man’s handsome feature. His heart was beating in staccatos of mess, it was making his head dizzy, his torso cramping up and his fingertips tingly.

 

“Wanted what?” He asked.

 

“To kiss you.”

 

“I was under the impression that we both wanted it.”

 

“Y-yeah? _Well_ , we didn’t get the chance to establish that last night, _so_.” 

 

Chan Yeol’s cheeks were tinged in pink, but it may be due to the setting sun, shit, Baek Hyun didn’t know anymore. The details were driving him mad, he had never care to look for details before, so what the fuck was wrong with him. Chan Yeol’s gaze was unwavering, that, he was very sure of. The onslaught of confusion and emotion, however, surprisingly made him smile nonetheless. He didn’t know why, but it did.

 

“Do you go around and kiss other men as well?” He asked, not because he was curious, but partly because he just wanted to see Chan Yeol like this, to hear him like this, cautious, shy, breathless.

 

“Why? Was the kiss that horrid?”

 

“No, they were splendid.”

 

There was a point when Chan Yeol didn’t say anything, eyes still glued to the shorter man’s face and it made him anxious. He can hear music from the stereo in the living room, sounds of people’s chatter and laughter, and then there was Oh Se Hun’s loud voice scolding Jong Dae for stealing his meat or something. He swore he heard Kyung Soo calling out Jong In’s name too, but all that didn’t matter, truth to be told.

 

Because Chan Yeol was leaning in, and it made him nervous at all the wrong places, and the man’s long fingers were warm when rested atop his forearm. But he didn’t go further. The distance was a relief for him, but it made him oddly disappointed too. Baek Hyun hated conflicting shit, but here he was, being a contradictory dick.

 

“I want to kiss you again. Is that weird?”

 

“Do you think it’s weird?”

 

“You think why I’m asking you?”

 

“I don’t know why you’re asking me. Not exactly the brightest crayon here.”

 

“Neither am I, both of our CGPA can vouch for that.”

 

“Damn, Chan Yeol, you don’t have to go that deep.”  

 

Chan Yeol snorted at his snappish comment before he barked out a hearty laugh soon after. It melted Baek Hyun’s frown pathetically quick into a huge grin.

 

He remembered a particular conversation he had with Joy last year. It wasn’t anything special, she sort of had a thing with Chan Yeol for two months until they were nothing.

 

_“It hurts to think that there’s nothing between us, I mean, yes, we did establish an understanding that there will be nothing in the first place, but he is so sweet, so charming and so kind. It’s only natural when girls start to want more. But Chan Yeol will not give anything, you know, like, he doesn’t make you feel special no matter how lovely he is.”_

 

See, for all the years he had come to know Park Chan Yeol, the man never had a serious relationship. He had flings, however, here and there, but nothing too committed because his best friend always reasoned with him that connection was the most vital part in a relationship, and that relationship was more than just about attraction.

 

_“Sure, their body might be hot, their personality might be nice, but I feel like I need to know them very well to have a relationship. I want to know their shitty side, I want them to bare everything out to me. I’m not looking for perfection, y’know?”_

 

Most of the flings that Chan Yeol had always had the same feature –cute laughs, smiley eyes, and they always went to Baek Hyun after a while to ask about the tall man, singing praises about how his best friend was basically a God, tall, kind, sweet, charming, but impenetrable. 

 

_“It’s like there’s a wall around him, and I can’t understand him well. He’s nice, sweet, but it’s like he’s not being completely truthful with me. Restrained. Like I’m not actually_ **the** _one he’s really seeing.”_

 

But the thing was, Chan Yeol was as honest as he can be, ugly expression when he laughed too hard, control thrown out the window. He was an opened book, he might be reserved sometimes, but Baek Hyun didn’t need the man to say words for him to understand his move, his frustration, his desperation, and it felt really good that he can understand the man so fucking well. It felt good that he was privilege enough to be allowed the chance to know him so well.

 

“Hey,” Chan Yeol’s voice was soft and he focused his eyes on the man’s face. “Where were you?”

 

“I’m still here.”

 

“What were you thinking about?”

 

“Nothing,” He said, but he swore the red burning up the tall man’s face when he said “Just you.” made him feel so fucking good.

 

They mingled around after that, each having the shitty punch Joon Myun made, but it was hazy at best in Baek Hyun’s head, because Chan Yeol was all over him. Height towering over him, deep voice vibrating over his skin and fingertips occasionally skittered over his arms, waist and thighs. The move was intimate, probably possessive if Baek Hyun was shameless enough to consider it as thus. 

 

Still didn’t change the fact that Baek Hyun liked it.

 

He liked it so fucking much, he was basically glued to the tall man’s side the whole night.

 

It was only natural for them to leave the party at nine that night.

 

===

 

On the hindsight of everything, Baek Hyun thought that things could’ve gone worst.

 

Sure that they have initially totally forgotten about the BBQ party Joon Myun had invited them to if not for Jong Dae’s girlfriend reminding the fucker about it and everyone went about in a fit of panic for almost forgetting about a free meal. They at least got to the man’s place in time. So by logic, it was totally justifiable for them to leave the place early too. Simple as that. No one got hurt.

 

The door was shut closed the moment they both stepped into Chan Yeol’s dimly lighted studio. If Baek Hyun was thinking levelly like he always would, he probably would take note of the already switched on table lamp by the living room and he would probably scoff at his best friend’s shitty annoying tick for always wanting to be prepared in everything.

 

Fucking control freak.

 

But Baek Hyun was not exactly in control of his head that second.

 

Or his fucking libido for that matter.

 

He bit his lips when Chan Yeol easily manoeuvred their position and pressed his body against Baek Hyun’s. His back was flushed against the door and he held his breath in when the tall man’s lips hovered over his. 

 

“Baek Hyun-ah.”

 

Chan Yeol’s breathy voice shouldn’t make his knees weak like this either, but it did, and his fingers just moved on their own, fisting around the front of the man’s tee as he pulled him closer. Thick lips greedily lapped on his thinner ones, calloused fingertips caressed the skin under his shirt against his hipbone and Baek Hyun moaned between the kiss when strong torso grinded against his.

 

Baek Hyun can come up with hundreds of reasons in justifying what made him responded so fucking eagerly to his best friend’s move, but if the need to narrow it down and have one specific party to be fault with, he will probably blame it on the alcohol.

 

See, the punch Joon Myeon served was shit, tasted rank, but it did its work.

 

(Or did it, really?)

 

(Sometimes people just need to place the blame on something else to not feel bad, you know?)

 

It wrecked his head in all sorts of places. Chan Yeol’s lips against his were doing wonderful shit to his head, and Baek Hyun just burned up for more as he slid both of his arms around the tall man’s small waist, pulling Chan Yeol even closer if that was possible at all. The steady weight of the door against his back stood as an anchor to his dizzy head, because the way Chan Yeol’s hands were deliciously groping his chest, fingers mindlessly roughing against his covered nipples before they ran down to his torso made him shudder. Moans and all sorts of other weird sound fell easily from his mouth.

 

They’ve only kissed once before this, but damn, he can get used to it.

 

Chan Yeol was great at messing his head up and he was handsy. Baek Hyun felt his face burning up just at the realisation of where Chan Yeol was groping him now, fingers up again to his chest, greedy as they claw at the fat there before going down to his waist and moved to his back, meshing his ass, mauling them over and over and it made Baek Hyun blushed, pleasure strangely electrifying straight to his dick.

 

Damn, just look at him, so ridiculously easy.

 

It was quite a foreign place to be groped, he would defend himself, his two exes never did that.

 

Through the kiss, Chan Yeol huffed out a laugh before he pulled away and Baek Hyun’s thwack to the man’s head was weak and playful, but Chan Yeol attaching his lips onto the shorter man’s neck made Baek Hyun’s knees turned into jelly.

 

“Bed?” was the hurried wet whisper.

 

They were quick. He was amazed at how confident Chan Yeol was when he shrugged his varsity jacket off, a testament of how many times he’d done this before, throwing them carelessly onto the couch before taking off his tee too and worked on his skinny jeans. A perfect model of efficiency. So by the time Chan Yeol crawled on top of him on the mattress, both of them were only in their boxer and despite the too many times he’d seen Chan Yeol’s bare skin, the sight of long and hard torso nonetheless still burned his face up that night.

 

What was wrong with him?  

 

Wet kisses were dropped all over his skin, Chan Yeol was greedy when he lapped on the long expanse of his throat, tongue trailing up over his chin before lips latching on the other man’s lips. Shiver rippled his skin alive from the quick movement, it was easier for him to get breathless. Baek Hyun was getting needier, harder, he was burning up and he wanted to touch more, wanted to feel more. He kissed Chan Yeol back just as desperately, both of them were desperate anyway, and the first dip of Chan Yeol’s hips thrust down into his made him clenched his eyes shut, pulling his head sideways as he breath out shakily.

 

Goosebumps prickling his skin, and he swallowed loudly when Chan Yeol moved his hips again, half hard cock pressed against his own, and the whole idea of it made him excited, building up stupid anticipation because _holy shit_ , this was really happening.

 

Chan Yeol’s thumb was rough as they flicked against his hard nub, and Baek Hyun bit his lips as he swallowed a moan in. It was a sensitive spot, shit, it had always been a sensitive spot and it was embarrassing how harder and harder his cock was growing when Chan Yeol repeated his move, flicking his nipple over and over, echoed by his thrusting hips.

 

“Your ex told me before,” Chan Yeol’s lips were wet and warm against the shell of his ear when he whispered, “She told me that you almost came just from her doing shit to your nipples alone, is that true?”

 

The question was unexpected and Baek Hyun turned his head with opened eyes to see Chan Yeol’s dark eyes, hazy with flushing face.

 

“Who’s the talky bitch?”

 

“So it’s true then?” The smirk melted him, “Can we test the theory out then?”

 

“Don’t you fucking _dare_.”

 

The peck to his cheek was innocent if they weren’t in this position, soft and simple, but then Chan Yeol made his move, challenging with a muttered _“Watch me do it.”_ Baek Hyun was panicking when the tall man shifted his body down, lips trailing to his throat, thumbs twirling in circular motion against his hipbones and Baek Hyun’s fingers were quickly turning cold when he felt teeth grazed softly down his clavicle till they reach the flesh of his chest.

 

“Ch-chan _Yeol_ –” He huffed the name out, mouth quickly drying up. He had anticipated Chan Yeol’s lips after that, but it still made him cry out helplessly when the man clamped them around his perky left nub, sucking the hard flesh between his teeth and let his tongue roll against them easily. The reaction he pulled out of Baek Hyun should’ve been embarrassing, but the shorter man wasn’t level-headed enough to take note of it, no, not when Chan Yeol’s torso was a solid warmth against his covered dick, and his mouth was sucking his breast like a needy babe. His fingers had moved from his hip and they were now tweaking around his other one.

 

It was driving him crazy how Chan Yeol didn’t let up with his suction and light bites, tugging and tugging, possibly bruising the areola easily with his attention and Baek Hyun sobbed out a moan after another when the nub began to sore from overstimulation. “Chan Yeol, _enough_ –” He wheezed out, but Chan Yeol only moved to the other side of his chest in response and his hips stuttered forward against the hard torso.

 

Shit.

 

Everything felt too damn good.

 

The sheet was starting to warm under him, he was being so fucking loud, his arms were both wrapped tightly around the tall man’s neck and Chan Yeol’s fingers were warm when they skittered down to the side of his thighs, pulling from the underside.

 

“Wrap them around me, Baek.” Chan Yeol’s voice was muffled and vibrated against the skin of his chest and he did just that, desperate for more contact and the result of his legs wrapped snugly around Chan Yeol’s body was heavenly, because with the tall man’s weight rested fully on him like this, the sensation it caused when Baek Hyun rutted up against the hard torso felt just _so_ fucking good.

 

He thought he could lose it.

 

He kept rutting up and up and over and over again as Chan Yeol sucked his nipples noisily with wet lips and tongue, the crown of his head bobbed against the underside of his chin with each of Baek Hyun’s thrust. 

 

His cock was solid hard when he felt a laugh vibrated against his chest and so when the teeth clamped over his other nipple the next second in a bite and a particular bruising suction, he thought he could really lose it. His balls tightened, and he can feel heat crawled from his face, down to the back of his neck. Sweat plastered his bang to his forehead messily, and everything still wasn’t enough.

 

Funny how wet dreams and imagination always painted him more calmly than the desperate hot mess he was reduced to now, but dreaming of Chan Yeol and having him actually touching him were two different things altogether.

 

“Shit,” He can hear the tall man moaned out and he was in a daze when he felt Chan Yeol pulling apart his arms from his neck. He looked up to see Chan Yeol straightening up, his feet quickly fall apart from the man’s waist and Chan Yeol kneeled in between his thighs. His neck and chest were red and his lips glistened deliciously from his spit. Chan Yeol’s fingers were warm when they wrapped around Baek Hyun’s right wrist and Baek Hyun’s eyes widened when he pulled them until the smaller man’s palm was rested against the huge dent of Chan Yeol’s grey boxer brief. “Do you know how hot you look right now, Baek? Look at what it did to me, see how hard I am.”

 

It was dizzying, see –the way Chan Yeol was panting, the way his voice had dip an octave lower and became confusingly throaty.

 

And yet, he sat up after that, startling Chan Yeol and the man whimpered when Baek Hyun pushed shaky palm against the man’s broad chest until Chan Yeol’s back was pressed down into the mattress. There was a dark spot on the front of Chan Yeol’s boxer and the idea of what caused it made him whimpered as he straddled the tall man’s long thighs.

 

Chan Yeol’s fingers were hot and sweaty as they pulled at his neck and Baek Hyun leaned down and licked into his mouth. Their kiss was messy, truth to be told, with his spit rolled down his chin and Chan Yeol’s hot breath fanning over his face. The sound they made was embarrassing, but this was Chan Yeol under him, this was _his_ Park Chan Yeol being desperately handsy, touching every part of his body until he rested both his palms at the curve of Baek Hyun’s waist.

 

He moaned out loudly when Baek Hyun shifted until the crack of his ass rested directly atop his hard covered dick. The grip on his waist tightened when he rutted along the length and Chan Yeol pulled away from the kiss, huffing out a moan after another. His face was red, wet, eyes half-lidded and the sight was a much bigger turn on.

 

Chan Yeol thrust up eagerly with eyes staring heavily at the other man as Baek Hyun rutted along, trying to match with his rhythm. The movement made him moan, because while the sight of Chan Yeol unravelling under him was driving him crazy, the sensation of hard meat rubbing at his crack strangely shot pleasure straight to his cock.

 

But it wasn’t enough, not at all, and his lips dried up at the thought of Chan Yeol’s cock.

 

“B-Baek Hyun?” Chan Yeol sounded unsure when he shifted until he was sitting on his heels between the inside of the man’s long thighs. Chan Yeol’s skin was hot when he peppered kisses along his torso, smiling when he felt the muscle tensed under his lips, and Chan Yeol cried out when he pressed hesitant fingers atop the hard dent of the man’s boxer. He sucked at the man’s jutted hipbone as he traced the outline of the hard length and found his stomach cramping up at how long they were.

 

When he crooked his fingers at the waistband of the grey boxer brief, cold fingers gripped his shoulders tightly and he eyed the unsure red face of his best friend.

 

“A-are you sure we’re ready for this?” Was Chan Yeol’s hesitant question.

 

There were many responses he can give the other man, but what, really? Were they ready for this? Was Baek Hyun ready for this? Was Chan Yeol ready for this?

 

He in the end settled for – “Are you ready?” and watched with interest when the other man winced.

 

“I am –but Baek, I’m a man, and there’ll be another dick down there.”

 

“Chan Yeol, you’re not making any sense now. Are you saying no to a possible BJ?”

 

“But will you be fine with it?”

 

Chan Yeol was quiet after that. The genuine concern look he was wearing made his chest tightened. The man’s insecurity was frustrating, however, confusing, but he was too horny to give more thought to it, so he leaned down and laid few pecks atop the hard meat. Chan Yeol groaned out and bucked his hips up when Baek Hyun began to suck the clothed cock earnestly.

 

It was weird.

 

It was weird that he was doing this when he was usually at the other end with another girl between his thighs like this, but he was desperate. He was so fucking desperate that his body was tingling, his lips felt too dry despite how drool was pooling under his tongue.

 

Shit, he didn’t understand the desperation pooling at the pit of his stomach, he never was as needy before, so deprived, and yet.

 

_And yet_.

 

“Should we test it out?”

 

He wasn’t sure if the question was meant for him or his best friend. Chan Yeol looked unsure, but Baek Hyun gave him no chance to respond as he pulled the boxer brief down easily to his thighs and the sight that met him made his jaw drop, his mouth watering up very quickly. Chan Yeol’s cock was pale with its head a darker shade of pink. He wasn’t bushy, per say, but the dark hair curling at the base of his cock somehow made the sight more intimidating than needs to be. The meat glistened with pre-cum and its length somehow made him nervous.

 

For a moment, he didn’t know what to do, because _holy fucking shit_ , Chan Yeol was really hard, he didn’t think it was possible because Chan Yeol couldn’t want him that much. By definition, the man’s cock was long and thick, and Baek Hyun knew that by logic, he should be panicking by now. So it was only fair that he was freaking out because the _only_ thought that struck his stupid his head was to suck that shit, because fuck it, another man’s dick shouldn’t look this appetising. He almost moaned at the thought of sucking the dark shaft.

 

And he did just that.

 

“Fuck!” Chan Yeol’s cry spurred him on. 

 

The taste that touched his tongue was foreign. It was weird, a combination of musk and a little salty. He closed his eyes and let the long length fucked into his mouth, foreskin sliding down the mushroom head as they graze the roof of his mouth and he found himself relaxing his jaw and throat and sucked onto it. He wriggled his tongue around Chan Yeol’s meat, cheeks hollowing as he bobbled his head up and down along the shaft and his fingers were wrapped around the base when the length became too much for him.

 

Chan Yeol sounded wanton as he clenched the sheets with long fingers and Baek Hyun continued sucking him off. Slurping sound filled the whole room, saliva was dripping down his chin and Chan Yeol was still bucking his hips up in lieu with his rhythm.

 

He pulled away when it was too overwhelming, his eyes watered as he jerked Chan Yeol off with two of his palms, thumb occasionally rubbing atop the flat mushroom head.

 

“Okay?” Chan Yeol looked delirious at best, hair mussed up and face red. 

 

He asked that, Baek Hyun asked that with lips puffy and eyes glassy. Okay, **okay**? What was okay? Who was okay with what? He wondered, because his heart was beating manically under his breast, his head was high, his chest was clamping closed around his heart and his cock was so hard, it was painful. Adrenaline flooded in his vein, lust was driving him mad.

  
Shit.

 

He wanted Chan Yeol.

 

He wanted him so bad, his head was turning stupid. 

 

He could safely say that Chan Yeol’s next move was unexpected. He didn’t anticipate the man to be composed enough to flip their position over and pinned Baek Hyun against the mattress, face hovering above the short man’s torso, warm air puffing over his skin. His best friend had his eyes closed, lips wet and warm as they earnestly peppered hot kisses along his spastic tummy, his jutted hipbone. His skin was sucked between set of straight teeth that had Baek Hyun’s head swirling.

 

Chan Yeol’s palms were hot when they clenched around his thighs and in one rough movement, he spread them opened, easily pulling out a startled whimper from Baek Hyun.

 

Everything moved quickly after that, as if a button somehow have been switched on and Chan Yeol was on an autodrive, sucking his skin needily, leaving marks and bruises behind as he palmed Baek Hyun’s clothed cock before the other man pulled at the waistband of his red boxer brief, pulling them off swiftly when Baek Hyun raised his hips up.

 

Baek Hyun didn’t need to see to know that he was weeping, dick beyond hard and Chan Yeol’s teeth were doing wonders across his crotch, marking and claiming his skin almost urgently.

 

“C-Chan Yeol,” He moaned, feeling warm calloused thumb dragged from his crotch area to the area behind his balls. So near, yet so far, _shit_.

 

“Do you know how two guys do it, Baek Hyun-ah?” Chan Yeol’s question was breathy, lips now peppering at the base of his cock, nose sifted between his pubes and Baek Hyun cried out at the sensation, but his body immediately tensed up when he felt the other man’s thumb pulled down to the crack of his ass. “This here,” Chan Yeol said that as he poked the head of his thumb shallowly into his hole, so dry, making the shorter man whimpered out in return, “I will stuff my dick here, you know.” The thumb tapped again against the puckered hole, flicking over and over, and the sensation was foreign, they shouldn’t make him feel this aroused and turned on.

 

In his journey of discovering his blooming feeling for his best friend, Baek Hyun had watched enough gay porn to know and imagine how two men will do it. He knew it, the idea wasn’t strange at all, so it was only natural for anticipation to pool at the bottom of his stomach.

 

“I’m gonna fuck you, Baek Hyun-ah.” Chan Yeol said, simple as that.

 

“ _Shit_.” He groaned in return, because what else can he say?

 

Chan Yeol moved away after that and Baek Hyun instinctively turned around with a moan until he was lain on his stomach, hard dick pressed against the mattress and he thought he heard the cupboard door slammed closed, but he can’t be too sure because he was busy jamming his eyes shut, both palms pressed to the side of his head.

 

The mattress moved after that at the additional weight, half of his body was crushed beneath Chan Yeol and he bit his lips at the assault of lips on the side of his neck, shoulders impulsively hunching up at the sensation. 

 

He whimpered, however, when warm lubed fore finger rubbed at the crack of his ass, going up and down his hole and he did cry out when Chan Yeol’s lips on his neck turned to teeth and the finger slipped shallowly into his hole, going out again before going in. The man allowed his finger to slip out after a while, and Baek Hyun grumbled at the cold gel squirted onto the gap between his cheeks when Chan Yeol pressed the bottled lube.

 

“Sorry,” Chan Yeol said and Baek Hyun whimpered when a finger pressed in again, and this time, it slipped easily in, companied with embarrassing squelching sound.

 

The sensation was strange, so fucking strange indeed because the feeling was similar to when he was shitting, on reverse, but his cock was getting impossibly harder, and sweat was trailing down his spine and the moan and sound he gasped out was so embarrassing, he didn’t know what to do anymore.

 

There was Chan Yeol’s relentless ministration on his neck, overstimulating his skin, and then there was Chan Yeol shamelessly rutting his hard cock against the left side of his thigh from where he was crushing the shorter man.

 

“Truth to be told, I don’t know what’s gotten into me,” Chan Yeol panted from the back of his neck, lips brushing his skin in a whirl of fire, “Suddenly one day, I just want to pin you under me, I want to see you undone, wrecked like this, desperate –I want to see all that. I want to do all that and I want you all wrecked because of _me_.” Baek Hyun moaned when Chan Yeol chewed on his flesh. There was no pain, and Baek Hyun squirm his eyes shut, his heartbeat was going crazy and he was so fucking turned on, he felt himself going blank and stupid, dick hard and dripping. “I’ve always wanted to fuck you, Baek.” Chan Yeol moaned, “I want you so bad, shit, I imagined sticking into you so many times, I just can’t sleep at night.” As he said this, he quickly pulled out his finger from Baek Hyun, straddling the short man until his hard cock was slipping at the crack of his ass. His hips then moved into motion, sliding up and down along the crack of his ass, against Baek Hyun’s hole and he can’t help the loud desperate moan he cried out, dick crushed beneath his and Chan Yeol’s weight against the mattress and he just wanted things to escalate more already.

 

“Chan Yeol,” he sobbed out, aroused. “What do you want **now**?”

 

He can feel himself breaking. The crack was getting bigger and bigger –

 

Shit.

 

Chan Yeol will consume him.

 

“I want you.” Chan Yeol declared, “Not your body, I want the whole you.”

 

He was going to be eaten.

 

Chan Yeol will fucking eat him alive.

 

“Fuck me,” He drawled out, “Take me, Chan Yeol.”

 

And Chan Yeol did just that.

 

Splendidly so.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> a/n: gagagagagaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa so well. Smut. Crap. I know, they didn’t go all the way, but I thought I’d rate this as so just to be safe. One more chapter and an epilogue to go and it will be a wrap guys!


	9. Eight

Baek Hyun had never been in love before.

 

_Hey (hey) what’s the matter with your head? Yeah._

 

_Hey (hey) what’s the matter with your mind and all your sighing?_

 

He’d been in relationships, true, he’d been in enough relationships to know that most of the times, two people don’t really need love to co-exist. Fact was, there were many factors that resulted in two people to gravitate around each other –contempt, lust, companionship, trust, loneliness and so much more, he was sure of it.

 

_Hey (hey) nothin's a matter with your head, baby, find it._

 

_Come on and find it._

 

He wasn’t heartless, per say, it wasn’t as if the concept of love was alien to him because he loved enough. He loved his family, hell, he loved Oh Se Hun with all of his might, but it just so happen that he was never in love with his previous partners to mourn over the could’ve-had-it-all brief relationships he have had. Two months, and the longest was six months, what tragedy.

 

So he thought in that sense, he might be too much alike his best friend Park Chan Yeol. 

 

They were different, so very true, but they were the same too.

 

_Hell, with it, baby, 'cause you're fine and you're mine._

 

_And you look so divine._

 

He woke up to a loud thump sound and Chan Yeol’s familiar ringtone. Fuck Guardians of the Galaxy, thanks to the movie, Chan Yeol had _Come and get your love_ on repeat every fucking hour here and there for almost five months. There was nothing wrong with the movie or Redbone, per say, he just hated Park Chan Yeol was all.

 

At first, the sight that met him was blurry. That was before his gaze had sharpened enough to see the ugly lime sheets of Chan Yeol’s bed. The second thing he realised was that the black and white chequered duvet, somehow, had gone missing from the bed, resulting in the cold morning temperature to shower his naked body and allowing the whole world to see traces of dried cum and pale skin. The third thing, and probably the rudest thing might he add, was the acute pain shooting up from his asshole and his crotch area. He moaned distastefully at the last one, however.

 

He blinked away the sleepiness before groggily sitting up on the bed, wrong move though, because the action somehow enunciated the pain more clearly. His sad attempt to remedify the situation was to tense his body tout and tight, trying in vain to pathetically reduce whatever movement he might make so that that fucking sharp pain won’t turn up again. It was a failure, but he manned up anyway and managed to sit up straight.

 

It was when he turned about on the bed until his feet touched the wooden floor that he saw another mess of body on the ground next to the bed. A heavy weight of a dead body, except that it was wriggling from under the much missed warm duvet that had initially covering Baek Hyun away from the cold before a broken voice echoed out.

 

“H-hello?”

 

Baek Hyun didn’t know why his face warm up at the deep sleepy voice. He can’t decide too on what to do, because while the prospect of sleeping in was beautiful, being naked and open on the bed like this made him squirmy and uncomfortable. He knew there was no reason for him to be embarrassed at all, because really, it was only Park Chan Yeol here.

 

The man probably knew the contour of his dick before even seeing him naked.

 

His bladder made the decision for him, however.

 

He scooped his boxer up in one clean movement, raising an eyebrow at the loud screech Chan Yeol emitted before he bypassed the other man. Walking naked like this to the bathroom made him feel nostalgic. When was the last time he did this? Dick and libido satisfied?

 

Walking out from the bathroom to see a butt naked Chan Yeol running around with dangling dick however was not fun.

 

“Shit! Just give me ten minutes, I swear I’ll go down in ten –noona, please don’t cry! Please don’t cry, you know you’ll make me cry too, please stop that.”

 

Noona?

 

Baek Hyun ended up sitting on the bed again when Chan Yeol cursed out a, _“Fuck, 20%? Really now?”_ as the tall man hastily hooked his phone up to the charger. He turned to Baek Hyun with a miserable face and the sitting man can’t exactly help the amused snort he made. “Don’t laugh, Baek Hyun-nie, this is not funny.”

 

“Cake tasting, huh?” He huffed out.

 

Chan Yeol nodded his head furiously as he rushed to his cupboard.

 

“She was crying, and insisted I dress formally. What’s the fucking point? I’ve got no time to iron my shirt! The last time I wore them was during our Professional Ethics presentation last semester! Shit, I need to fucking shave, you know how she hates my stubble, right? Said I look like some cradle robber –I’m only twenty-three, how creepy can I look anyway?”

 

“You were 43 last month, though.”

 

“Now’s not the time, Baek Hyun.”

 

Varsity jackets, blue, red, green were all thrown hastily into a white backpack, the Vans backpack Jong Dae got Chan Yeol for his birthday, before few tees, underwear and a bottle of cologne was added in as well.

 

He remembered how his best friend had told him that he will be away for a week for Yoora’s cake and wine tasting, as well as the food tasting. Yoora was in a mess and their parents couldn’t handle her emotional tornado, so the beloved younger brother was to be the sacrificial lamb. At least that was Chan Yeol’s version, anyway. Everyone knew he loved sweet things, Baek Hyun was sure he will not complain at all once he got there.

 

“Just go and shower, asshole.” He said as he walked so shittily slow towards the tall man, ass still sore, but face warm when Chan Yeol turned to him with wide eyes by the ironing board.

 

“I need to iron this first, she’s already downs –”

 

“I’ll do it for you, just go and shower.”

 

Chan Yeol didn’t even protest, that fucker, as he rushed to the bathroom and Baek Hyun shook his head disappointedly. However, when he lay out the white shirt flat on the board, a soft peck was unexpectedly pressed to his cheek and he looked up in time to see a naked tall man ran back into the bathroom before the door was slammed shut.

 

He swore to god that the huge grin he wore after that wasn’t intentional.

 

By the time Chan Yeol came out from the bathroom, his backpack was already zipped up on the dining table, white shirt and black skinny jeans lain on the bed along with a black boxer brief. Baek Hyun had his yesterday’s tee on atop his boxer and he was nursing a cigarette on the couch in front of the TV, Empire was playing.

 

Chan Yeol was quiet as he dressed himself up except for the few grunts he huffed out from the tight pants against wet skin.

 

“Don’t forget to take the charger with you, Chan Yeol.” he called out to the other man as he crushed what remain of his stick into the ashtray before the smell of Chan Yeol’s Karl Lagerfeld cologne spread across the studio apartment. There was a squawk, then the sound of heavy feet running across the room when his best friend actually went to unplug the charger and threw them into his already bulging bag.

 

Chan Yeol went about with few other details with loud squawk here and there until he was in front of the shorter man after a while, hair neat with bang brushed up to the side. They were still damp, but at least not dripping. His white shirt looked a bit tight across the chest from his still damp skin, tucked into his black skinny jeans and the white backpack was strapped over his back. He looked tall, handsome, and Baek Hyun had to breathe out a little shallowly from the wild memory of Chan Yeol’s huffing and red face from fucking him the night before.

 

Ah crap.

 

He will not get a boner out of this.

 

Right?

 

“How do I look?”

 

_How do you look?_

 

Don’t ask him that, because if Baek Hyun got to have his way at all, Yoora won’t be seeing his brother anytime soon.

 

“Handsome.” He said instead. Chan Yeol’s satisfied smile made his chest tight, so he smirked out a “You’re five minutes late, by the way.”

 

Panic shrivelled up Chan Yeol’s face in a blink and Baek Hyun grinned as he watched the tall man rushed to the door, pulling out a pair of sneakers from the shoe rack. He’d forgo his socks and Baek Hyun can’t wait for the man to whine about a blister later. A miserable Park Chan Yeol always equalled to a happy Byun Baek Hyun anytime.

 

“Just be sure to lock the door before you go back,” Chan Yeol told him from the floor, fingers rough as he tied the shoelaces of his sneakers. “There are few leftovers in the fridge, you can heat them up later if you’re hungry.”

 

“What food?” He asked, standing barefoot next to the door.

 

“Some fried rice I made yesterday morning.”

 

“No thanks, I’m sure they taste like crap.”

 

Chan Yeol looked up to him confusingly and that shit got Baek Hyun even more confused. The man then shook his head before standing up, looking demure and all. “I thought you love them, you always fight with Se Hun every time I made them at their place.” He shrugged, fingers warm as they brushed up the smaller man’s forearm before resting two palms over Baek Hyun’s shoulder, distracting him while making him all aware of their close proximity. “When I get back, let’s have a talk Baek Hyun.” Chan Yeol said. “I want to have _that_ talk, we are going to _talk_ , and you’ll wait for me and _that_ talk, yeah?”

 

“What talk, you’re basically my wife with the way you’re behaving.” He grunted and the pleased grin Chan Yeol wore made his stomach cramped up in all odd angles. “Don’t look so pleased, bastard.” He groaned when the tall man leaned down and kissed him. It made him lightheaded, and his fingers were tight around Chan Yeol’s shirt over his torso. Fuck him for being so eager in returning the kiss and Chan Yeol pulled away after a while.

 

“Love to do more, but you know, _sister_.”

 

He ran out after that and Baek Hyun walked out too, indecent, for sure, as he followed with barefoot until they reached the lobby, still dressed in his tee and boxer brief. It was when Chan Yeol got into the lift that the realisation of what Chan Yeol said before hit home.

 

“Wait, Min Seok’s the one who always cook right? What fried rice are you talking about?”

 

“Baek Hyun, the only thing he’s ever good at is only chopping things up. Why do you think I’m always with him in the kitchen?”

 

“So the stew? The stir-fry beef? The soup?” Chan Yeol grinned knowingly as he leaned against the wall of the lift, satisfied at Baek Hyun’s horrified and betrayed face. “My whole life has been a lie. What shitty luck is this?”

 

“You’re lucky I like your dick.” Chan Yeol said instead.

 

“Fuck you.”

 

“In a week, sure.”

 

===

 

On the hindsight of everything, Baek Hyun never would’ve guessed that he’ll miss Chan Yeol this much. It was only two days, he’d been away for longer before and Baek Hyun was fine, so how the fuck was he in all state of miserable right now?

 

The contact he had with Chan Yeol in the meantime was very limited, brief if there was any at all. Daytime was all about him running around with his sister and he was mostly occupied during the night-time with visiting relatives. So Baek Hyun and Jong Dae took the dirty job of helping him out with the course registration as it was already Monday and their summer course had officially begun.

 

Because they were technically already in their summer break, Jong Dae’s cousins had gone back, leaving the apartment all to the other man. His friend decided to take this chance and had his girlfriend over. Baek Hyun hardly saw the man in the last two days other than in class. He was glad that Se Hun had no plan yet this first week of holiday and the man was more than willing to take him around or just hang out with him. 

 

He will have to have a man-to-man talk with his father one of these days about returning back his car. He was basically stuck there, unable to move around and go to places.

 

Chan Yeol called him that night. His voice was quiet, he was probably tired, all hush and soft.

 

_“What are you doing?”_

 

“Nothing, just hanging around doing nothing.”

 

_“With Jong Dae?”_

 

“Nah, he’s all holed up in his dingy love nest with the girl. Busy getting laid, surely. Got to respect the man’s perspective. I’m sure I would do the same thing.”

 

_“What, if I was there?”_

 

“What?”

 

_“You must be busy getting laid with me, surely?”_

 

“You’re disgusting.” 

 

_“Joke aside, how’s your ass faring? Sorry if I hurt you or something.”_

 

“Not really, it’s already been two days. I’m no longer sore. How is _your_ ass faring from the other side? Has your sister finally managed to drive you nuts?”

 

_“You know she’s more than capable to do just that. The cake tasting was all okay and stuff, but then because of the stress, she ate my portion too at the cake shop and the worst thing came after that. She cried like hell saying that she’ll put on weight from the cake! I mean, what does she want? What the hell am I supposed to do?”_

 

Baek Hyun tended to appreciate the ten minutes phone call he will get daily in the morning and the five minutes one he would sneak in at night. It was sad that this was the first time really for him to feel this desperate for someone else. He didn’t know what to do. It was ridiculous.

 

“Chan Yeol-ah, come back quickly.” Baek Hyun didn’t know what compelled him to say that. But it was no use to regret over the shameful truth.

 

_“Why? Bored?”_

 

That too.

 

“Jong In bailed out on me right after Joon Myun’s party. I don’t want to see Jong Dae’s happy face and Se Hun annoys me most of the time.”

 

_“What about Min Seok hyung? His girlfriend is not around now, no?”_

 

Ah.

 

Why didn't he thought of that? 

 

===

 

It was past midnight that Wednesday when he found himself lounging about on the couch in the living room of Se Hun’s house. By default, it was only logical that Min Seok was slouching next to him as Hobbits played on the TV. Se Hun was still upstairs, showering for almost an hour now because he was a dick and he loved being clean and fresh.

 

The ambience of the whole place was something he was used to. **Dark**. All lights were switched off other than the few table lamps by the staircase, one in the living room and one by the front door. Min Seok said it was more energy efficient and saving this way, but Se Hun swore his brother just liked the dark and was a general freak. Like Chan Yeol, who found the need to be in total darkness when he wanted to sleep.

 

Se Hun never fancied the dark.

 

He can’t stress enough on that fact, and that was one of the main reasons he didn’t like sleeping over at Chan Yeol’s place or sleeping _anywhere_ at all where Chan Yeol was concerned.

 

“When will Chan Yeol be back again?” Min Seok suddenly asked.

 

Baek Hyun didn’t need to turn towards the elder to see the disinterested face he was making, but he knew well how Min Seok never ask meaningless question.

 

“Friday morning, I think?” He answered back, scratching his cheek idly as Bilbo slid down the mountain of gold with Smaug nowhere to be seen. He never liked watching any of Tolkien’s work. He felt stressed enough just from the unnecessary anticipation and suspense. Golem from Lord of the Ring was a nightmare.

 

Chan Yeol was obsessed with the series though, because he was on another league altogether – a world class asshole.

 

Thinking about Chan Yeol, however, had its own pros and cons. One of the pros was probably that it made Baek Hyun giddy with cramp tummy and smiley face all day, but the cons though were a disaster. Like one, he can’t get Chan Yeol’s sex face out of his head and he was too proud to jack off by himself. Another thing was that it made him miserable because he didn’t know that a dick like Chan Yeol can be missed this much, because damn it, he wanted to see that smiley face already. The last thing was that it made him distracted enough that Min Seok’s next question almost made his jaw dropped.

 

“Have you been having sex lately? You’re looking good these days.”

 

By the love of everything that was fucking holy, Baek Hyun was truly glad he wasn’t drinking or holding anything when Min Seok sprung that question out of nowhere.

 

“W-what are you even asking?”

 

If he was in his right mind at all, he would’ve realised that his response was probably shit, and that he was being so embarrassingly obvious. But to be fair, Byun Baek Hyun had never been smart to begin with, anyway, so it was only logical that he had a deer in a headlight expression when Min Seok finally turned from the TV and was looking at him with a raised eyebrow and suspicion.

 

“No?”

 

“W-what no?”

 

“You got laid, yeah?”

 

“Why? Why is this a _quest_ –this is, are we really doing this?”

 

“Baek Hyun, it’s a simple question, all you have to say is yes or no, what the hell?”

 

“Hyung, why are you –what made you –”

 

“Let’s just drop this. It’s embarrassing.”

 

Baek Hyun was glad the elder decided to drop the subject altogether. But the question somehow triggered the memories of Park Chan Yeol again, and everything fell back to square one. Park Chan Yeol, his best friend, status now unknown. Fucking tragedy his life really was, so he ended up curling his shoulders defensively in, body slouching against the couch and one knee pulled to his chest.

 

Shit.

 

Even his sitting position was similar to Chan Yeol’s usual one, for fuck’s sake.

 

He tried telling himself that he wasn’t sulking per say, speechless, true, but the fire was still burning in him. The memory of Chan Yeol fucking him was still fresh at the core of his mind. Both of them had sex before, but from the way the tall man touched him, he knew that Chan Yeol was far more experienced than he was. With both male and female, probably. It was an unsettling thought, though, the former.

 

So he sneaked a glance at the sitting elder from next to him. He wondered how it feels like to be born in Min Seok’s skin. Face structured in a nonchalant and almost emotionless feature. He was kind, smart, and probably talented too. He wondered if Min Seok ever had a problem as fucked up as his was, he wondered if Min Seok was ever troubled at all with any problem, because the man almost always appeared relax and calm.

 

It was an envious trait, really, to be seen as composed.

 

He wondered how the elder will react if he was ever to tell him of Chan Yeol’s and his endeavour. But then again, what the hell was stopping him?

 

So by the will of the universe, or god, or fate, he hoped so, he nonchalantly told Min Seok the whole truth, because yes, the elder was so true. He did get laid, probably the best sex he had ever had in his life, because a simple fact concluded that Park Chan Yeol, _his_ Park Chan Yeol, was beyond perfect – _period_.

 

“I hooked up with Chan Yeol four nights ago.”

 

He blurted the words out before he can even pause and think clearly. If he wasn’t so horrified, he would find the ordeal of how quickly his face had shrivelled up with horror and disbelief to be amusing. He can feel his body tensing up, his fingers freezing up and his guts struggling to fly up his throat –he didn’t know what to expect. While Min Seok never made it clear if he was a homophobic or not, Baek Hyun really cared what his reaction would be because the elder somehow held an important role in Baek Hyun’s life. He basically saw Baek Hyun growing up, they did it together after all, transitioning from snotty brats into the adults they were now.

 

So when Min Seok had only hum out in return, Baek Hyun couldn’t help how his tummy had clenched up into degrees of cramp, anticipation killing his brain off.

 

“That so?” Min Seok said after a while, attention still on the TV and for a moment there, Baek Hyun thought the elder might miss whatever crap he had earlier blurted out, because it can’t be just that, no? This was big news, no? He was basically coming out to Min Seok, the man gotta to say something bigger in return, right? But of course he was wrong. “So is it true what I heard about tall guys?”

 

Wait – _what_?

 

“What?” 

 

“What? I mean is it true then?”

 

“What true?”

 

“About their dick size and all?”

 

“Why are you more concern about that than the fact that me and him fucked?”

 

“What, after your weird mating dance these past few months? Dude, it was obvious as balls. Everyone is expecting it.”

 

The silence that ensued after that was deafening he had thought. His heart was beating degrees wrong and his face still burned. Min Seok was calm next to him, he didn’t know if the man was expecting an answer at all or not. He had figure that it was a difficult task to differentiate the expression played on the man’s face. It was a futile attempt to discern what he really was thinking, Baek Hyun knew that, but he discreetly wished he would understand.

 

“Well?”

 

He didn’t know if he had the right to answer the man’s question. While he had seen Chan Yeol’s dick in numerous occasion, Friday night, especially, for a very detailed and prolonged period, Baek Hyun knew for a fucking fact that his best friend’s dick was –

 

“Massive.” He said dismissively. “It was massive.”

 

His face burned crimson, blood rushing up his neck to his cheeks and sweat was slowly perspiring under the collar of his shirt. Min Seok smirked too much like his younger step brother and Baek Hyun didn’t know if he liked it or not.

 

The elder’s response was only this, however. “ _Heh_ , so you played the sore-ass loser, huh?”

 

“Oh, shut the hell up.”

   

===

 

The walk back to his flat was a quiet one. Se Hun had dropped him off by the entrance gate after they had two cups of strawberry sundaes at the McDonald’s. The tangy sweetness of the strawberry sauce still tingled at the tip of his tongue, and his teeth still ached from the remnants of the ice cream. He regretted rejecting Se Hun’s offered jacket because now, the night breeze was biting against his skin.

 

It was perplexing seeing that it was already summer. He justified that short sleeved tee should be a norm, he was supposed to be sweating, he was a summer child after all, and he fucking longed for the heat to burn his skin red.

 

He was out of breath by the time he reached his floor. It was an embarrassing fact that he wasn’t fit, he would probably come out with thousands of reason to justify himself, because pride played a leading factor to his life’s principle, but all train of thoughts came to a rude halt when he saw a familiar figure sat on the floor just next to the door of his flat with slumped shoulders.

 

“Chan Yeol?” he called out hesitantly.

 

The man looked up from the floor before a huge grin broke his face up.

 

Ah.

 

His beautiful Park Chan Yeol.

 

_What_?

 

“You’re back!”

 

“What are you doing here?” His question was simple, because a quick glance to his wrist showed that it was already - "At 3.30am, what the fuck?" and Chan Yeol wasn’t due to be here until Friday afternoon the next day. To say that he was shocked by the man’s presence was an understatement, because what the hell was going on?

 

Chan Yeol stood up, dusting his pants off of any dust. He straightened up after that, and Baek Hyun couldn’t help noticing the fatigue colouring the man’s feature. His hair was a disarray of silver mess, his skinny jeans were black and he had a loose grey tee on top, varsity jacket of course tied to the strap of his bag that was still strapped to his back.

 

“Why are you even asking this? Can’t I just come back earlier? I drove Yoora’s car. We can go around now.”

 

“You’re standing outside of my house.”

 

“Hmm? Well, I want to see you.”

 

“You should’ve called me first. What if I stay over at Se Hun’s place?”

 

“My battery died, and if that’s the case at all, I’ll probably go back. _Wait_ why are you even complaining? Already got bored of me or what?"

 

Chan Yeol said that. He looked tired, face a little pale, but there was a huge grin splitting his face. It did shit to Baek Hyun, sending his heart into overdrive and his face flushed up in return. His chest felt tight and he found it amusing how easily for his fingers to curl around the front of Chan Yeol’s tee. His best friend looked down to him with a soft smile now, his eyes strangely bright when Baek Hyun moved closer, head tilting up.

 

Chan Yeol met his lips halfway. It was strange, because this wasn’t supposed to feel so natural. For Chan Yeol to kiss him like nothing mattered in the world, making him this breathless and high at three-something in the morning. For their relationship to transit easily from friendship to this weird thing. The breeze echoed around his upper arm made his skin crawled with goosebumps, only to be warmed up when the tall man brushed his palms up over his skin, palms curving around his shoulder as he pulled Baek Hyun closer, deepening their kiss and he couldn’t help the moan he breathed out into their kiss. Chan Yeol’s lips over his, his tongue playfully lapping over his.

 

“Hey,” He called out breathlessly after a while.

 

“What?” Chan Yeol asked promptly.

 

“Let’s go back to your place.” Because Baek Hyun’s place was full with strangers of housemates, and he really, _really_ missed his best friend.

 

“Missed me that much, huh?”

 

“Is it unwarranted?”

 

“Nah, I think I’m just as fucked as you are.”    

 

===

 

The mattress bounced under him as they fell into the bed with Chan Yeol crushing on top of him.

 

It was embarrassingly arousing how his jeans were halfway down his calves and Chan Yeol was already in only his boxer brief. The zip of his pants felt cold against his skin, his boxer brief felt too tight, but Chan Yeol’s warm palm cupping his cheek and his hot lips sucking desperately on Baek Hyun’s made up for it, for everything.

 

The whole studio was half lit by then, table lamp by the TV area and the one by Chan Yeol’s study table were switched on in their hasty blizzard of dizzying passion. Chan Yeol’s white backpack was placed carelessly on the sofa in front of the TV, Baek Hyun’s hoody was dumped on the small dining table.   

 

His palms were sweaty when he ran his fingers through the tall man’s silver bang, feeling warm scalp under his fingertips as he pushed his fingers further up his best friend’s head. Roots of black hair were starting to show, he wondered if the man was going to bleach them again, ruining his soft hair slowly into coarseness. Chan Yeol was already half hard and all coherent thought left his head for a second when his best friend pressed his torso against Baek Hyun’s, eliciting a quiet moan from him in between their kisses. Baek Hyun trailed his fingers down after that, appreciating the sensation of his best friend’s cool skin touching his fingertips and he pulled away from the kiss with a loud pop, grinning.

 

“Your _body_ man, how do you even find the _energy_ to work out?” He said, face flushing up as he rubbed on Chan Yeol’s tout torso, loving how the well-toned muscle clenched and unclenched at his ghostly touches. Chan Yeol was beautiful, soft orange light was gentle on his skin, contouring the hollow of his cheekbones in shadow and Baek Hyun’s chest confusingly clenched in at the sight.

 

“You like it?” Chan Yeol asked as he dropped a playfully loud smooching kiss onto Baek Hyun’s lips, teeth catching the shorter man’s lower lip as he pulled away. His long legs rested painfully good between Baek Hyun’s, their groins were pressing hard atop of each other and his dick twitched at the look his best friend was giving him –hazy eyes, red face, huffy and thick lips.

 

“Yeah,” Baek Hyun said honestly with a huge stupid and drunken grin, giddy and high from the attention. “They’re making me so horny.” His statement was probably uncalled for, but really, not that he can help it. They were both men, coarse, rough and lewd. It was ridiculous how he found the concept of being embarrassed in front of Chan Yeol was something foreign. They were so used to each other, so brutally honest with each other all the time that he didn’t think the need to hide his feeling was needed anyway. Chan Yeol was always accepting, always had a big heart.  

 

“What even kind of kink is that?” Chan Yeol huffed out after that with a smirk, squirming on top of him and the friction it caused when his torso inadvertently thrust into his was delicious. Baek Hyun’s lips were quickly drying up despite how hard they made out before.

 

“A fucked up one, that’s what.” He groaned, prompting a breathless chuckle from the man on top of him.

 

“But tell you what,  I’ll be honest with you.” Chan Yeol leaned down after that, warm breath fanning the short man’s ear before he kissed them, sucking on Baek Hyun’s ear shell noisily. “I’ve been thinking about my dick in your ass my whole time back home.” 

 

He always thought that Chan Yeol was not made to talk dirty. His face was expressive, eyes wide and his smiles were too sincere, childish, and innocent at times. It was wrong, he thought it was wrong, so fucking wrong, but his torso still clamped up with arousal and his cheeks burned when Chan Yeol said those things straight to his ears, fucking his libido up.

 

“That’s sick, man, you were with your sister the whole time.”

 

“Don’t make this weird, Baek Hyun-ah.”

 

Contrary to all the gay porn Baek Hyun had equipped himself with over the past few months in his self-discovery-Chan-Yeol-sexual journey, he found that instead of a full thrusting drilling shit going on, it felt really, _really_ **good** when his tall best friend fucked him _slowly_. His sways were long, but shit, they were _deep_. It was fucked, he can feel the groove of vein along the tall man’s shaft touching all of the surface in his ass as Chan Yeol thrust in and out of him, teeth and lips mouthing at the back of his neck before they caught the smaller man’s lips, prompting Baek Hyun to twist his body around to deepen the kiss.

 

Chan Yeol had pushed him so that Baek Hyun was laid on his tummy. His right knee was bent with one of the tall man’s thighs pushed beneath his in raising his hips up to ease his sways. His full weight was pressed onto the smaller man’s back as he fucked him slowly like this. Each thrust made him breathless, pleasure rippling through his whole body with goosebumps chorused along his sweat soaked skin.

 

The whimpers and small moans Baek Hyun breathed out desperately between their kisses were pathetic, but it was impossible not to feel this overwhelmed when Chan Yeol was pressing into him so intimately heavy like this. He had one hand fisting the bedsheet just next to Baek Hyun’s head while his other hand was pressed at the short man’s groin, fingers danced in a lazy stroke around Baek Hyun’s cock between both of their weight and the mattress. Baek Hyun’s fingers were tight balling around the bedsheet, and Chan Yeol was relentless with his kisses, contrasting with his gentle and slow and deep thrust.

 

It was funny how he never felt this close to a person.    

 

Baek Hyun pulled away from the kiss, trail of spit still connecting their two lips as he huffed out hot and wet air against the mattress. The bed creaked at all the movement they made, sweat wetting his back. Chan Yeol continued teething at his throat, moaning against his skin as he kept the pace of his thrusts even, fucking in and out. The squelching sound from his cock moving in and out of his ass was loud, vulgar, lube poured too much earlier made Baek Hyun laughed when they drip down and stain the bed, but now, appreciated at easing Chan Yeol’s length’s movement.

 

He can feel excess of the droplet dripped down his inner thigh, he can feel the tight vacuum suction of his hole made around Chan Yeol’s girth every time the man pulled out before pushing back in, he can feel the vibration of Chan Yeol’s deep guttural moan reverberated from the man’s position on his back. It was embarrassing how loud his body was responding to his friend’s action, but he felt too good to do anything about it.  

 

“Baek Hyun-ah, I feel so good.” Chan Yeol huffed out at his throat, “Are you feeling good too? I’m not gonna last long at all.” He whimpered as he thumbed at the smaller man’s slit, calloused pad of his thumb rough on the mushroom head as he hastened his pumping.

 

“I’m close,” He mewled, truth slipping out from his lips so easily. “Just keep going like this –Chan Yeol, it’s _so_ good.” He whined, craning his head just nicely until he had the tall man’s face in view. Something about Chan Yeol’s expression did shit to his chest and torso, his eyes were half lidded, his lips were parted, but his attention was all on him. Red was tinting his best friend’s cheeks, beads of sweat trailed down the side of his face, chin glistening.

 

_Beautiful_.

 

There was nothing else he can say about the man.

 

_Shit_ , the thing his feeling was doing to his head now was maddening, clenching his eyebrows in distressed and chocking him up with overwhelming emotion. It was confusing. He never felt like this before with all of his previous partners, so what the hell was wrong with him? 

 

Chan Yeol let out a particular loud moan after that as he leaned closer, catching Baek Hyun’s lips easily, sucking at his mouth desperately and the smaller man returned them with the same gusto. Baek Hyun cried out between their kisses when Chan Yeol’s pumping around his cock became suddenly relentless, almost urgent.

 

He pushed out his other hand, reaching out for the tall man’s arm just next to the back of his head and he clenched his eyes shut when Chan Yeol pulled away his arm only to intertwine his sweaty fingers around Baek Hyun’s shortly. Warmth swelled almost immediately at the depth of his belly, his emotion throbbed catastrophically in his chest, he imagined them bursting at its seam, almost to the limit.

 

It felt really good.

 

He was feeling so good, he didn’t know what to do, helplessly melting at the other man’s ministration. Chan Yeol pulled away from the kiss, burying his head into the slope Baek Hyun’s neck, teething at the junction of his shoulder and neck.

 

“Chan Yeol,” He huffed out after that, craning his head slightly. “Chan Yeol-ah, do you feel good?” He cried out. “I feel good –I feel so good, Chan Yeol-ah what’s happening, it feels so _good!_ ” He sobbed, arousal peaking at the bottom of his belly, his cock throbbed with impending orgasm. He was close, teething at the edge, so fucking close.

 

Chan Yeol pulled his lips from his neck only to drop sloppy kisses at the side of his head, kissing his crown, trailing butterfly kisses down to his cheek.

 

“Baek Hyun-ah, I’m gonna go faster, okay? I really, **really** can’t hold it any longer, _please_ , can I?”

 

Trust Chan Yeol asking permission to come.

 

How to respond? What to say?

 

In the end he didn’t say anything, clenching his eyes shut, nodding his head frantically and he cried out when Chan Yeol pulled back, strong hands grasping at his hips as he overturn the smaller man onto his back. Chan Yeol pulled his cock out, parting Baek Hyun’s thighs spread wide like some weird offering. The loss of his cock was prominent, it was weird how his ass was clenching against nothing, but it wasn’t long before his best friend dived in just as he pushed apart the lain man’s knees and pressed them to his chest.

 

Baek Hyun’s startled cry was loud and he crossed his arms atop his eyes immediately after that.

 

“P-please, don’t push my legs so high, Chan Yeol-ah, I’ll get a cramp!” He whined in panic and with a grunt, Chan Yeol released his knees, leaning down instead with both palms pressed at either side of Baek Hyun’s head before he started to fuck him earnestly.

 

_So this is it_ , he thought.

 

So this was the raw desperate move he saw in most of the gay porn he watched, and surprisingly, he _felt_ the difference. It was intense, his whole body shook along in echoing every urgent snaps of Chan Yeol’s hips. It was loud, the bed was making all sorts of creaking sound just like the incoherent cries the two were making. His hole was stretched embarrassingly raw beyond his imagination. While he felt the slow stretch of the muscle when Chan Yeol’s larger girth slowly adjusting in him earlier, to have them so carelessly being fucked into like this made his cock twitch and leaking.

 

His feet hovered in the air uselessly behind the tall man, toes curling in at the pleasure electrifying his whole body as he pushed one of his arms away from his face and palmed his cock urgently. He was panting so hard by then, and Chan Yeol jackhammering into him knocked his moans and cries into a hiccup of mess.

 

“B-Baek, look at me, please,” Chan Yeol requested as he pulled at the man’s one other arm that was still plastered atop his eyes. Baek Hyun did so immediately, face burning up and eyes watery. The bedsheet was cool against the back of his palm and Chan Yeol’s sweaty grip as he intertwined their fingers together was hard, _intimate_.

 

_This is it_ , he thought again.

 

His torso was curling in, and he pressed down both of his feet onto the bed, toes digging into the mattress as he cant his hips up to meet Chan Yeol’s thrust urgently. He didn’t know what his best friend was doing, he didn’t know what crevice of wall the man’s cock was fucking, because every thrust against that spot shoot pleasure down his whole body, so very different than the sensation he usually would feel when they concentrated only on his cock when he was the one who did the fucking with all his previous partners.

 

It was very different, it was scary, it was weird, but he was so out of it, he thought he can faint from the overwhelming sensation.

 

“I’m gonna cum, please Chan Yeol, I’m gonna cum!” He sobbed out, desperate.

 

Chan Yeol’s whimper was pitiful as he leaned down and caught his lips, kissing him messily with drool dripping down their chins. And just like that, just from the wet messy kiss and relentless snaps of hips and his quickening fingers around his cock, Baek Hyun came with a muffled loud cry with Chan Yeol following just three thrust after. 

 

===

 

On the hindsight of everything, the time of Chan Yeol’s proposal three nights later wasn’t that idealistic.

 

What, with their skin still flushed and wet with sweat from the sex they have just had, bedsheet crumpled under their weight with the aluminium foil of their condom’s packet lain on the floor carelessly among their mess of clothing particles.

 

His cock was still moving at a crawling speed in him as the aftermath of their intense orgasm, and the overload of sensation was dizzying to him, but Baek Hyun heard his plea clearly in between their relaxed kisses. Chan Yeol’s voice was crisp, clear, as he asked him to –

 

“Be my boyfriend Baek Hyun-ah.” The man’s eyes were soft when he pulled away and stared down at the man lain under him, weight pressed so heavily _good_ on top of him, slick chest to another slick chest. “Be my boyfriend, Baek Hyun-ah, I’ll love you better than anyone, I swear to God, I’ll cherish you to the moon and back.”

 

He thought that Chan Yeol didn’t need to sprout winning cheesy line to get him to agree. He thought that the man sort of win him over at the earlier _‘Be my boyfriend’_ line. So he burst out laughing right after that and Chan Yeol’s grin was wide, drunken.

 

“Yeah, yeah, just keep on fucking me like that, my soul is basically yours, man.” He said, dizzy and high and giddy.

 

“ _Nice_.” Chan Yeol said in return as he dropped a loud smooching kiss onto his lips.

 

They kissed longer after that, relaxed smooching now turned into a heavy make out and Baek Hyun was starting to huff out wet breath. He felt a twitch of interest from his _now_ boyfriend’s cock against his hips and he bit his lips when Chan Yeol mouthed along his jawline until he pressed his wet and hot lips onto the shorter man’s ear.

 

“So how’s that for riding the bull?”

 

“Fuck off, Chan Yeol, I didn’t even ride you.”

 

“We can do just that right about now. Up for another round?”

 

“For god’s sake, man, it’s almost five in the morning!” 

 

He said that, he fucking said that, but he allowed the man to manhandle him anyway, and they went for another round before he finally blacked out. He’d never ride the man and he didn’t ride the man that night as per suggested, **no** , and Park Chan Yeol was definitely no bull, for fuck’s sake.

 

-End-

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And it’s done!!!!! Last chapter. DONE! Just a disclaimer. When I wrote this fic, the boys were still in their Love Me Right era, so their image that I had in mind was that from the MV. So anyways, that’s that. Will probably upload the epilogue sometime tomorrow? 


	10. Epilogue

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay done. Like DONE man! I’ve had this image in my head for ages, so it feels really good that I can finally write it out. It’s an epilogue, so it’s short, and this is from Sehun’s pov. Enjoy!

The night was cold, it was November after all, and after his failed thirty missed calls to Baek Hyun, Se Hun decided to just follow Jong Dae and his brother out of the car with heavy heart. The lift ride was a short one. Chan Yeol’s apartment complex was heaven sent compared to Baek Hyun’s rundown criminal-like flat. It was fucking cold, and it was miserable to watch Jong Dae rummaging through his pocket for the last fifteen minutes to look for the spare key everyone knew he openly made a copy of despite how Chan Yeol had vocally disagree. He didn’t think it was even legal.

 

“Shit,” Jong Dae muttered in his search, desperate and huffy. Se Hun was thumbing at the screen of his phone, unlocking the phone with memorised precision, agitation teething him on edge. “I swear I have the keys with me before we went out.”

 

“Jong Dae-yah, it’s cold out here, man.” Min Seok grumbled under his breath with a shake of his head as he carefully unboxed the mocha cake in his hands.

 

Se Hun watched disinterestedly as the elder fished out the key from his back pocket with a triumphant grin. “Found it, found it!” he sing-songed, “Hyung, have a little more faith in me.” He jammed the key into the doorknob, “I’ve never failed you, unlike stupid Byun Baek.” He said with a sigh.

 

“Where is he anyway?” His brother asked when he finally managed to balance the cake atop its box in his hands. “I know the birthday surprise is a bit impromptu, but it’s only just 2am, he’s usually still up at this time.”

 

“I know,” Se Hun complained. “I’ve dialled him up for few times. No answer.”

 

“Try harder Se Hun-ah.” Jong Dae whined as he twisted the door knob after he pulled away the key and pressed his weight against the door, slowly swinging them open.

 

Se Hun jutted his lower lips out in return, blowing hot air from his nostril in frustration. Try harder? How about frickin’ thirty times, fucking dick ass.    

 

As expected, the whole studio was dark except for the table lamp by the dining area and the TV playing some show in low volume.

 

The layout of Chan Yeol’s studio apartment was simple. The door will open directly to his living area, exposing the three-sitter couch and the huge TV. On the right side of the door was the kitchen and next to it was the bathroom, while to the left of the door was Chan Yeol’s bed. So when they pushed the door opened, it was understandable that they only had the door halfway parted to conceal them from the bed.

 

The three of them were still standing outside in the cold, and he thought he can hear his brother's teeth chattering from the biting temperature. Se Hun had the video recording on his phone on standby, and Jong Dae was grinning like some weird Cheshire cat from his position right at the door.

 

“Oh my god, oh my _fucking_ god, you guys won’t believe this!” He whispered excitedly as he turned to the two siblings with wide hysteric eyes and huge maniacal grin. “He’s doing it, oh my god, there’s a girl with him!”

 

Se Hun knew it was wrong, but he couldn’t help the excitement from bubbling up in his chest at the knowledge.

 

“A girl?” he gasped out before turning to exchange glances with his brother.

 

Much to his confusion, though, Min Seok looked confused when Jong Dae said that before his face shrivelled up into that of a horror when the other man hurriedly push the door wider and walked in. _“No way,”_ he thought he heard his brother gasping that out, but he didn’t stop to ponder on it despite how the eldest of them was suggesting that – “I don’t think this is a good idea, _g-guys_.” because Jong Dae was rushing in and Se Hun was a stupid boy, following the elder’s step religiously with light head and excitement, phone already recording the whole scene.

 

His **first** mistake of that night was probably for forgetting how his brother almost _never_ stutters unless there was a huge shit going on.

 

True, once that they got in and after ignoring the sound of the TV, there was the loud prominent sound of sex, echoes of bed creaking and skin slapping surrounding the whole small studio. In this semi-darkness, Se Hun couldn’t see clearly other than the lean back of another person’s body. Chan Yeol’s moans were deep, guttural and loud, and he almost chocked out a huge laugh at that while Jong Dae was frantically touching the wall for the main light switch.

 

His **second** mistake was his ignorant to the short hair and wide shoulders.

 

Chan Yeol was on the bed and someone was riding him **hard**. The bed was creaking madly, the two lovers were loud. He raised his phone with glee, recording and _very_ much intending to send the whole shit to the missing Baek Hyun to show what the man was _really_ missing. He had to give it to Chan Yeol though, so impatient with grabbing the other girl’s waist, immobilising her as he jackhammer up into her, fucking into her so hard and so fast, she had her head lolled forward, hands pressed onto the tall man’s chest to balance herself and she screamed – _yes, **ngh** Chan Yeol-ah, **fuck** yes! Coming! Coming! **Coming**!_

 

 ** _Nice_**.

 

His **third** mistake was that he should’ve realised the high pitched scream was nowhere close to a girl’s tone.  

 

Just as the girl’s body stumbled backwards into Chan Yeol’s bent bony knees and her head lolled back, with arms bend against the taller man’s kneecaps to support her weight, Jong Dae grabbed his arm. He turned towards the man and saw that his other palm was hovering above the light switch by the wall. He grinned wide. _Shit_ , this was priceless. Jong Dae raised his fingers.

 

One, two, _three_ –

 

The sudden brightness was blinding, almost dizzying, but the grin he wore was fucking huge as he and Jong Dae screamed out a –

 

“Surprise!”

 

He almost dropped the phone when he saw the familiar newly dyed ashy, almost greyish hazelnut hair and the milky skin.

 

Girl.

 

“W-what?” The familiar throaty asked from atop Chan Yeol.

 

“Fuck, I knew it!” Min Seok groaned out, cake splattered on the floor and face devastated from that loss.

 

What girl?

 

That was definitely not a girl who was riding Chan Yeol’s dick into the sunset.

 

Everything happened so quickly after that, he had a hard time comprehending the events following the moment he saw Byun Baek Hyun –his, _their_ Byun Baek Hyun craning his neck and their eyes locked. Hazy unfocused eyes snapped wide then, followed by Jong Dae’s loud screech of, _“Are you fucking serious?”_ and Chan Yeol pushing his body up at the onslaught of noises.

 

There was that loud glaring two seconds where everything went still before Baek Hyun snapping his body tout and rolled over Chan Yeol in a flash just as Se Hun noticed the furry bunny ears headband he _knew_ **he** bought for Baek Hyun just that Halloween last month still perched on the elder’s head. _Nice grip_ , he would comment when they exited the A&E later when the headband still stay nestled among Baek Hyun’s hair. 

 

Baek Hyun miscalculated his move and he fell onto the floor with a loud thump, and there were screaming _everywhere_.

 

Baek Hyun’s loud one in particular, because in his haste, he pulled his fucking back muscle of all things. Chan Yeol’s, because his dick was still rock hard from not coming, condom slipped up to the head, and he was pulling the duvet frantically to cover himself while looking horrified and all, almost fainting. There was Jong Dae’s, because Se Hun did drop his phone and he was clawing his fingers to cover the elder’s eyes from the whole ordeal. And finally, _his_ , screaming a – “I bought the bunny ears from _Toys R us_ , how could you use something so innocent for something like this, hyung!” and because now that he was really looking at the hysterical Chan Yeol, he saw that the elder was wearing a dress shirt, the only white one he had, all buttoned up with black tie strapped neatly, the exact complete set he had worn when he attended both Min Seok’s and his grandmother’s funeral two years ago, and he really, _honest to god_ , didn’t want to know what kind of fucking roleplay the two were into that night.

 

Chan Yeol spent the night of his 23rd birthday at the emergency ward of the hospital as Baek Hyun received an injection for his muscle pull. It was surreal, the whole ordeal of Chan Yeol and Jong Dae helping the naked man up from the floor while the man screamed in pain was so fucking precious and then there was the shit Jong Dae had hysterically shout out, _“Seriously? Seriously guys? Can’t you guys like hold on and wait until next year or something?”_ while he helped Chan Yeol dress Baek Hyun up.  

 

Se Hun drove Min Seok’s white Hyundai away from the hospital quietly, head still reeling from what just happened while Jong Dae sat next to him at the passenger side. Chan Yeol was sitting by the window behind the short man while his brother was quiet behind him with Baek Hyun sandwiched in between.

 

Baek Hyun’s red face reflected on the rear view mirror, still strung out from the pain killer as Jong Dae spat out questions after questions that almost made him laugh. “Did you guys used protection?”, “Please get tested regularly, you guys, it’s very important.”, “Who else knew?”, “Fucking hell, man, this shit is intense.”  

 

It was 5am when they drove back to Chan Yeol’s studio. The sky was still dark and the air smelled fresh from the opened window.

 

Psychemagik’s _‘Mink and Shoes’_ was playing in the background, but his brother’s statement was crispy clear. Jong Dae’s response was a huge grin before he snorted into a hysterical fit of laughter. Baek Hyun had promptly buried his face in his two palms with a loud groan and a muffled “ _Oh, fuck off, you dick_.” and Se Hun’s grin was so wide, he swore his face was starting to hurt.

 

“So you _did_ ride the bull, huh?”

 

Chan Yeol fist bumped the eldest with a bark of laugh.

 

-End-

 


End file.
